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Adventures of Sally, The
CHAPTER IX - GINGER BECOMES A RIGHT-HAND MAN
P G Wodehouse
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       _ It was not till she saw him actually standing there before her with his
       hair rumpled and a large smut on the tip of his nose, that Sally really
       understood how profoundly troubled she had been about this young man,
       and how vivid had been that vision of him bobbing about on the waters of
       the Thames, a cold and unappreciated corpse. She was a girl of keen
       imagination, and she had allowed her imagination to riot unchecked.
       Astonishment, therefore, at the extraordinary fact of his being there
       was for the moment thrust aside by relief. Never before in her life had
       she experienced such an overwhelming rush of exhilaration. She flung
       herself into a chair and burst into a screech of laughter which even to
       her own ears sounded strange. It struck Ginger as hysterical.
       "I say, you know!" said Ginger, as the merriment showed no signs of
       abating. Ginger was concerned. Nasty shock for a girl, finding blighters
       under her bed.
       Sally sat up, gurgling, and wiped her eyes.
       "Oh, I am glad to see you," she gasped.
       "No, really?" said Ginger, gratified. "That's fine." It occurred to him
       that some sort of apology would be a graceful act. "I say, you know,
       awfully sorry. About barging in here, I mean. Never dreamed it was your
       room. Unoccupied, I thought."
       "Don't mention it. I ought not to have disturbed you. You were having
       a nice sleep, of course. Do you always sleep on the floor?"
       "It was like this..."
       "Of course, if you're wearing it for ornament, as a sort of
       beauty-spot," said Sally, "all right. But in case you don't know, you've
       a smut on your nose."
       "Oh, my aunt! Not really?"
       "Now would I deceive you on an important point like that?"
       "Do you mind if I have a look in the glass?"
       "Certainly, if you can stand it."
       Ginger moved hurriedly to the dressing-table.
       "You're perfectly right," he announced, applying his handkerchief.
       "I thought I was. I'm very quick at noticing things."
       "My hair's a bit rumpled, too."
       "Very much so."
       "You take my tis," said Ginger, earnestly, "and never lie about under
       beds. There's nothing in it."
       "That reminds me. You won't be offended if I asked you something?"
       "No, no. Go ahead."
       "It's rather an impertinent question. You may resent it."
       "No, no."
       "Well, then, what were you doing under my bed?"
       "Oh, under your bed?"
       "Yes. Under my bed. This. It's a bed, you know. Mine. My bed. You
       were under it. Why? Or putting it another way, why were you under my
       bed?"
       "I was hiding."
       "Playing hide-and-seek? That explains it."
       "Mrs. What's-her-name--Beecher--Meecher--was after me.
       Sally shook her head disapprovingly.
       "You mustn't encourage Mrs. Meecher in these childish pastimes. It
       unsettles her."
       Ginger passed an agitated hand over his forehead.
       "It's like this..."
       "I hate to keep criticizing your appearance," said Sally, "and
       personally I like it; but, when you clutched your brow just then, you
       put about a pound of dust on it. Your hands are probably grubby."
       Ginger inspected them.
       "They are!"
       "Why not make a really good job of it and have a wash?"
       "Do you mind?"
       "I'd prefer it."
       "Thanks awfully. I mean to say it's your basin, you know, and all that.
       What I mean is, seem to be making myself pretty well at home."
       "Oh, no."
       "Touching the matter of soap..."
       "Use mine. We Americans are famous for our hospitality."
       "Thanks awfully."
       "The towel is on your right."
       "Thanks awfully."
       "And I've a clothes brush in my bag."
       "Thanks awfully."
       Splashing followed like a sea-lion taking a dip. "Now, then," said
       Sally, "why were you hiding from Mrs. Meecher?"
       A careworn, almost hunted look came into Ginger's face. "I say, you
       know, that woman is rather by way of being one of the lads, what! Scares
       me! Word was brought that she was on the prowl, so it seemed to me a
       judicious move to take cover till she sort of blew over. If she'd found
       me, she'd have made me take that dog of hers for a walk."
       "Toto?"
       "Toto. You know," said Ginger, with a strong sense of injury, "no dog's
       got a right to be a dog like that. I don't suppose there's anyone keener
       on dogs than I am, but a thing like a woolly rat." He shuddered
       slightly. "Well, one hates to be seen about with it in the public
       streets."
       "Why couldn't you have refused in a firm but gentlemanly manner to take
       Toto out?"
       "Ah! There you rather touch the spot. You see, the fact of the matter
       is, I'm a bit behind with the rent, and that makes it rather hard to
       take what you might call a firm stand."
       "But how can you be behind with the rent? I only left here the Saturday
       before last and you weren't in the place then. You can't have been here
       more than a week."
       "I've been here just a week. That's the week I'm behind with."
       "But why? You were a millionaire when I left you at Roville."
       "Well, the fact of the matter is, I went back to the tables that night
       and lost a goodish bit of what I'd won. And, somehow or another, when I
       got to America, the stuff seemed to slip away."
       "What made you come to America at all?" said Sally, asking the question
       which, she felt, any sensible person would have asked at the opening of
       the conversation.
       One of his familiar blushes raced over Ginger's face. "Oh, I thought I
       would. Land of opportunity, you know."
       "Have you managed to find any of the opportunities yet?"
       "Well, I have got a job of sorts, I'm a waiter at a rummy little place
       on Second Avenue. The salary isn't big, but I'd have wangled enough out
       of it to pay last week's rent, only they docked me a goodish bit for
       breaking plates and what not. The fact is, I'm making rather a hash of
       it."
       "Oh, Ginger! You oughtn't to be a waiter!"
       "That's what the boss seems to think."
       "I mean, you ought to be doing something ever so much better."
       "But what? You've no notion how well all these blighters here seem to be
       able to get along without my help. I've tramped all over the place,
       offering my services, but they all say they'll try to carry on as they
       are."
       Sally reflected.
       "I know!"
       "What?"
       "I'll make Fillmore give you a job. I wonder I didn't think of it
       before."
       "Fillmore?"
       "My brother. Yes, he'll be able to use you."
       "What as?"
       Sally considered.
       "As a--as a--oh, as his right-hand man."
       "Does he want a right-hand man?"
       "Sure to. He's a young fellow trying to get along. Sure to want a
       right-hand man."
       "'M yes," said Ginger reflectively. "Of course, I've never been a
       right-hand man, you know."
       "Oh, you'd pick it up. I'll take you round to him now. He's staying at
       the Astor."
       "There's just one thing," said Ginger.
       "What's that?"
       "I might make a hash of it."
       "Heavens, Ginger! There must be something in this world that you
       wouldn't make a hash of. Don't stand arguing any longer. Are you dry?
       and clean? Very well, then. Let's be off."
       "Right ho."
       Ginger took a step towards the door, then paused, rigid, with one leg in
       the air, as though some spell had been cast upon him. From the passage
       outside there had sounded a shrill yapping. Ginger looked at Sally. Then
       he looked--longingly--at the bed.
       "Don't be such a coward," said Sally, severely.
       "Yes, but..."
       "How much do you owe Mrs. Meecher?"
       "Round about twelve dollars, I think it is."
       "I'll pay her."
       Ginger flushed awkwardly.
       "No, I'm hanged if you will! I mean," he stammered, "it's frightfully
       good of you and all that, and I can't tell you how grateful I am, but
       honestly, I couldn't..."
       Sally did not press the point. She liked him the better for a rugged
       independence, which in the days of his impecuniousness her brother
       Fillmore had never dreamed of exhibiting.
       "Very well," she said. "Have it your own way. Proud. That's me all
       over, Mabel. Ginger!" She broke off sharply. "Pull yourself together.
       Where is your manly spirit? I'd be ashamed to be such a coward."
       "Awfully sorry, but, honestly, that woolly dog..."
       "Never mind the dog. I'll see you through."
       They came out into the passage almost on top of Toto, who was stalking
       phantom rats. Mrs. Meecher was manoeuvring in the background. Her face
       lit up grimly at the sight of Ginger.
       "Mister Kemp! I been looking for you."
       Sally intervened brightly.
       "Oh, Mrs. Meecher," she said, shepherding her young charge through the
       danger zone, "I was so surprised to meet Mr. Kemp here. He is a great
       friend of mine. We met in France. We're going off now to have a long
       talk about old times, and then I'm taking him to see my brother..."
       "Toto..."
       "Dear little thing! You ought to take him for a walk," said Sally.
       "It's a lovely day. Mr. Kemp was saying just now that he would have
       liked to take him, but we're rather in a hurry and shall probably have
       to get into a taxi. You've no idea how busy my brother is just now. If
       we're late, he'll never forgive us."
       She passed on down the stairs, leaving Mrs. Meecher dissatisfied but
       irresolute. There was something about Sally which even in her
       pre-wealthy days had always baffled Mrs. Meecher and cramped her style,
       and now that she was rich and independent she inspired in the chatelaine
       of the boarding-house an emotion which was almost awe. The front door
       had closed before Mrs. Meecher had collected her faculties; and Ginger,
       pausing on the sidewalk, drew a long breath.
       "You know, you're wonderful!" he said, regarding Sally with unconcealed
       admiration.
       She accepted the compliment composedly.
       "Now we'll go and hunt up Fillmore," she said. "But there's no need to
       hurry, of course, really. We'll go for a walk first, and then call at
       the Astor and make him give us lunch. I want to hear all about you. I've
       heard something already. I met your cousin, Mr. Carmyle. He was on the
       train coming from Detroit. Did you know that he was in America?"
       "No, I've--er--rather lost touch with the Family."
       "So I gathered from Mr. Carmyle. And I feel hideously responsible. It
       was all through me that all this happened."
       "Oh, no."
       "Of course it was. I made you what you are to-day--I hope I'm
       satisfied--I dragged and dragged you down until the soul within you
       died, so to speak. I know perfectly well that you wouldn't have dreamed
       of savaging the Family as you seem to have done if it hadn't been for
       what I said to you at Roville. Ginger, tell me, what did happen? I'm
       dying to know. Mr. Carmyle said you insulted your uncle!"
       "Donald. Yes, we did have a bit of a scrap, as a matter of fact. He
       made me go out to dinner with him and we--er--sort of disagreed. To
       start with, he wanted me to apologize to old Scrymgeour, and I rather
       gave it a miss."
       "Noble fellow!"
       "Scrymgeour?"
       "No, silly! You."
       "Oh, ah!" Ginger blushed. "And then there was all that about the soup,
       you know."
       "How do you mean, 'all that about the soup'? What about the soup? What
       soup?"
       "Well, things sort of hotted up a bit when the soup arrived."
       "I don't understand."
       "I mean, the trouble seemed to start, as it were, when the waiter had
       finished ladling out the mulligatawny. Thick soup, you know."
       "I know mulligatawny is a thick soup. Yes?"
       "Well, my old uncle--I'm not blaming him, don't you know--more his
       misfortune than his fault--I can see that now--but he's got a heavy
       moustache. Like a walrus, rather, and he's a bit apt to inhale the stuff
       through it. And I--well, I asked him not to. It was just a suggestion,
       you know. He cut up fairly rough, and by the time the fish came round we
       were more or less down on the mat chewing holes in one another. My
       fault, probably. I wasn't feeling particularly well-disposed towards the
       Family that night. I'd just had a talk with Bruce--my cousin, you
       know--in Piccadilly, and that had rather got the wind up me. Bruce
       always seems to get on my nerves a bit somehow and--Uncle Donald asking
       me to dinner and all that. By the way, did you get the books?"
       "What books?"
       "Bruce said he wanted to send you some books. That was why I gave him
       your address." Sally stared.
       "He never sent me any books."
       "Well, he said he was going to, and I had to tell him where to send
       them."
       Sally walked on, a little thoughtfully. She was not a vain girl, but it
       was impossible not to perceive in the light of this fresh evidence that
       Mr. Carmyle had made a journey of three thousand miles with the sole
       object of renewing his acquaintance with her. It did not matter, of
       course, but it was vaguely disturbing. No girl cares to be dogged by a
       man she rather dislikes.
       "Go on telling me about your uncle," she said.
       "Well, there's not much more to tell. I'd happened to get that wireless
       of yours just before I started out to dinner with him, and I was more or
       less feeling that I wasn't going to stand any rot from the Family. I'd
       got to the fish course, hadn't I? Well, we managed to get through that
       somehow, but we didn't survive the fillet steak. One thing seemed to
       lead to another, and the show sort of bust up. He called me a good many
       things, and I got a bit fed-up, and finally I told him I hadn't any more
       use for the Family and was going to start out on my own. And--well, I
       did, don't you know. And here I am."
       Sally listened to this saga breathlessly. More than ever did she feel
       responsible for her young protégé, and any faint qualms which she had
       entertained as to the wisdom of transferring practically the whole of
       her patrimony to the care of so erratic a financier as her brother
       vanished. It was her plain duty to see that Ginger was started well in
       the race of life, and Fillmore was going to come in uncommonly handy.
       "We'll go to the Astor now," she said, "and I'll introduce you to
       Fillmore. He's a theatrical manager and he's sure to have something for
       you."
       "It's awfully good of you to bother about me."
       "Ginger," said Sally, "I regard you as a grandson. Hail that cab, will
       you?" _