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A Tramp Abroad
CHAPTER XI - I Paint a "Turner"
Mark Twain
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       _ The summer days passed pleasantly in Heidelberg.
       We had a skilled trainer, and under his instructions we
       were getting our legs in the right condition for the
       contemplated pedestrian tours; we were well satisfied
       with the progress which we had made in the German language,
       [1. See Appendix D for information concerning this
       fearful tongue.] and more than satisfied with what we had
       accomplished in art. We had had the best instructors in
       drawing and painting in Germany--Haemmerling, Vogel, Mueller,
       Dietz, and Schumann. Haemmerling taught us landscape-painting.
       Vogel taught us figure-drawing, Mueller taught us to do
       still-life, and Dietz and Schumann gave us a finishing
       course in two specialties--battle-pieces and shipwrecks.
       Whatever I am in Art I owe to these men. I have something
       of the manner of each and all of them; but they all said that I
       had also a manner of my own, and that it was conspicuous.
       They said there was a marked individuality about my
       style--insomuch that if I ever painted the commonest
       type of a dog, I should be sure to throw a something
       into the aspect of that dog which would keep him from
       being mistaken for the creation of any other artist.
       Secretly I wanted to believe all these kind sayings,
       but I could not; I was afraid that my masters'
       partiality for me, and pride in me, biased their judgment.
       So I resolved to make a test. Privately, and unknown
       to any one, I painted my great picture, "Heidelberg Castle
       Illuminated"--my first really important work in oils--and
       had it hung up in the midst of a wilderness of oil-pictures
       in the Art Exhibition, with no name attached to it. To my
       great gratification it was instantly recognized as mine.
       All the town flocked to see it, and people even came from
       neighboring localities to visit it. It made more stir than
       any other work in the Exhibition. But the most gratifying
       thing of all was, that chance strangers, passing through,
       who had not heard of my picture, were not only drawn to it,
       as by a lodestone, the moment they entered the gallery,
       but always took it for a "Turner."
       Apparently nobody had ever done that. There were ruined
       castles on the overhanging cliffs and crags all the way;
       these were said to have their legends, like those on the Rhine,
       and what was better still, they had never been in print.
       There was nothing in the books about that lovely region;
       it had been neglected by the tourist, it was virgin soil for
       the literary pioneer.
       Meantime the knapsacks, the rough walking-suits and the stout
       walking-shoes which we had ordered, were finished and brought
       to us. A Mr. X and a young Mr. Z had agreed to go with us.
       We went around one evening and bade good-by to our friends,
       and afterward had a little farewell banquet at the hotel.
       We got to bed early, for we wanted to make an early start,
       so as to take advantage of the cool of the morning.
       We were out of bed at break of day, feeling fresh
       and vigorous, and took a hearty breakfast, then plunged
       down through the leafy arcades of the Castle grounds,
       toward the town. What a glorious summer morning it was,
       and how the flowers did pour out their fragrance,
       and how the birds did sing! It was just the time for a
       tramp through the woods and mountains.
       We were all dressed alike: broad slouch hats, to keep the
       sun off; gray knapsacks; blue army shirts; blue overalls;
       leathern gaiters buttoned tight from knee down to ankle;
       high-quarter coarse shoes snugly laced. Each man had
       an opera-glass, a canteen, and a guide-book case slung
       over his shoulder, and carried an alpenstock in one hand
       and a sun-umbrella in the other. Around our hats were
       wound many folds of soft white muslin, with the ends
       hanging and flapping down our backs--an idea brought
       from the Orient and used by tourists all over Europe.
       Harris carried the little watch-like machine called
       a "pedometer," whose office is to keep count of a man's
       steps and tell how far he has walked. Everybody stopped
       to admire our costumes and give us a hearty "Pleasant march
       to you!"
       When we got downtown I found that we could go by rail to
       within five miles of Heilbronn. The train was just starting,
       so we jumped aboard and went tearing away in splendid spirits.
       It was agreed all around that we had done wisely,
       because it would be just as enjoyable to walk DOWN the Neckar
       as up it, and it could not be needful to walk both ways.
       There were some nice German people in our compartment.
       I got to talking some pretty private matters presently,
       and Harris became nervous; so he nudged me and said:
       "Speak in German--these Germans may understand English."
       I did so, it was well I did; for it turned out that there
       was not a German in that party who did not understand
       English perfectly. It is curious how widespread our language
       is in Germany. After a while some of those folks got out
       and a German gentleman and his two young daughters got in.
       I spoke in German of one of the latter several times,
       but without result. Finally she said:
       "ICH VERSTEHE NUR DEUTCH UND ENGLISHE,"--or words to
       that effect. That is, "I don't understand any language
       but German and English."
       And sure enough, not only she but her father and sister
       spoke English. So after that we had all the talk we wanted;
       and we wanted a good deal, for they were agreeable people.
       They were greatly interested in our customs; especially
       the alpenstocks, for they had not seen any before.
       They said that the Neckar road was perfectly level, so we
       must be going to Switzerland or some other rugged country;
       and asked us if we did not find the walking pretty fatiguing
       in such warm weather. But we said no.
       We reached Wimpfen--I think it was Wimpfen--in about
       three hours, and got out, not the least tired; found a
       good hotel and ordered beer and dinner--then took
       a stroll through the venerable old village. It was very
       picturesque and tumble-down, and dirty and interesting.
       It had queer houses five hundred years old in it,
       and a military tower 115 feet high, which had stood there
       more than ten centuries. I made a little sketch of it.
       I kept a copy, but gave the original to the Burgomaster.
       I think the original was better than the copy, because it
       had more windows in it and the grass stood up better and had
       a brisker look. There was none around the tower, though;
       I composed the grass myself, from studies I made in a field
       by Heidelberg in Haemmerling's time. The man on top,
       looking at the view, is apparently too large, but I found
       he could not be made smaller, conveniently. I wanted
       him there, and I wanted him visible, so I thought out a
       way to manage it; I composed the picture from two points
       of view; the spectator is to observe the man from bout
       where that flag is, and he must observe the tower itself
       from the ground. This harmonizes the seeming discrepancy.
       [Figure 2]
       Near an old cathedral, under a shed, were three crosses
       of stone--moldy and damaged things, bearing life-size
       stone figures. The two thieves were dressed in the fanciful
       court costumes of the middle of the sixteenth century,
       while the Saviour was nude, with the exception of a cloth
       around the loins.
       We had dinner under the green trees in a garden belonging
       to the hotel and overlooking the Neckar; then, after a smoke,
       we went to bed. We had a refreshing nap, then got up
       about three in the afternoon and put on our panoply.
       As we tramped gaily out at the gate of the town,
       we overtook a peasant's cart, partly laden with odds and
       ends of cabbages and similar vegetable rubbish, and drawn
       by a small cow and a smaller donkey yoked together.
       It was a pretty slow concern, but it got us into Heilbronn
       before dark--five miles, or possibly it was seven.
       We stopped at the very same inn which the famous old
       robber-knight and rough fighter Goetz von Berlichingen,
       abode in after he got out of captivity in the Square Tower
       of Heilbronn between three hundred and fifty and four hundred
       years ago. Harris and I occupied the same room which he
       had occupied and the same paper had not quite peeled off
       the walls yet. The furniture was quaint old carved stuff,
       full four hundred years old, and some of the smells
       were over a thousand. There was a hook in the wall,
       which the landlord said the terrific old Goetz used to
       hang his iron hand on when he took it off to go to bed.
       This room was very large--it might be called immense--
       and it was on the first floor; which means it was in
       the second story, for in Europe the houses are so high
       that they do not count the first story, else they
       would get tired climbing before they got to the top.
       The wallpaper was a fiery red, with huge gold figures in it,
       well smirched by time, and it covered all the doors.
       These doors fitted so snugly and continued the figures
       of the paper so unbrokenly, that when they were closed
       one had to go feeling and searching along the wall
       to find them. There was a stove in the corner--one
       of those tall, square, stately white porcelain things
       that looks like a monument and keeps you thinking
       of death when you ought to be enjoying your travels.
       The windows looked out on a little alley, and over that
       into a stable and some poultry and pig yards in the rear
       of some tenement-houses. There were the customary two beds
       in the room, one in one end, the other in the other,
       about an old-fashioned brass-mounted, single-barreled
       pistol-shot apart. They were fully as narrow as the usual
       German bed, too, and had the German bed's ineradicable
       habit of spilling the blankets on the floor every time
       you forgot yourself and went to sleep.
       A round table as large as King Arthur's stood in the
       center of the room; while the waiters were getting
       ready to serve our dinner on it we all went out to see
       the renowned clock on the front of the municipal buildings. _
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CHAPTER I - The Knighted Knave of Bergen
CHAPTER II - Heidelberg - Landing a Monarch at Heidelberg
CHAPTER III - Baker's Bluejay Yarn - What Stumped the Blue Jays
CHAPTER IV - Student Life - The Laborious Beer King
CHAPTER V - At the Students' Dueling-Ground - Dueling by Wholesale
CHAPTER VI - A Sport that Sometimes Kills
CHAPTER VII - How Bismark Fought
CHAPTER VIII - The Great French Duel - I Second Gambetta in a Terrific Duel
CHAPTER IX - What the Beautiful Maiden Said
CHAPTER X - How Wagner Operas Bang Along
CHAPTER XI - I Paint a "Turner"
CHAPTER XII - What the Wives Saved
CHAPTER XIII - My Long Crawl in the Dark
CHAPTER XIV - Rafting Down the Neckar
CHAPTER XV - Down the River - Charming Waterside Pictures
CHAPTER XVI - An Ancient Legend of the Rhine - The Lorelei
CHAPTER XVII - Why Germans Wear Spectacles
CHAPTER XVIII - The Kindly Courtesy of Germans
CHAPTER XIX - The Deadly Jest of Dilsberg
CHAPTER XX - My Precious, Priceless Tear-Jug
CHAPTER XXI - Insolent Shopkeepers and Gabbling Americans
CHAPTER XXII - The Black Forest and Its Treasures
CHAPTER XXIII - Nicodemus Dodge and the Skeleton
CHAPTER XXIV - I Protect the Empress of Germany
CHAPTER XXV - Hunted by the Little Chamois
CHAPTER XXVI - The Nest of the Cuckoo-clock
CHAPTER XXVII - I Spare an Awful Bore
CHAPTER XXVIII - The Jodel and Its Native Wilds
CHAPTER XXIX - Looking West for Sunrise
CHAPTER XXX - Harris Climbs Mountains for Me
CHAPTER XXXI - Alp-scaling by Carriage
CHAPTER XXXII - The Jungfrau, the Bride, and the Piano
CHAPTER XXXIII - We Climb Far--by Buggy
CHAPTER XXXIV - The World's Highest Pig Farm
CHAPTER XXXV - Swindling the Coroner
CHAPTER XXXVI - The Fiendish Fun of Alp-climbing