(Monsieur Jourdain, Two Lackeys, Music Master, Dancing Master, Pupil, Musicians, and Dancers) MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Well gentlemen? What's this? Are you going to show me your little skit?
DANCING MASTER How? What little skit?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Well, the. . . What-do-you-call it? Your prologue or dialogue of songs and dances.
DANCING MASTER Ha, ha!
MUSIC MASTER You find us ready for you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN I kept you waiting a little, but it's because I'm having myself dressed today like the people of quality, and my tailor sent me some silk stockings that I thought I would never get on.
MUSIC MASTER We are here only to wait upon your leisure.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN I want you both to stay until they have brought me my suit, so that you may see me.
DANCING MASTER Whatever you would like.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN You will see me fitted out properly, from head to foot.
MUSIC MASTER We have no doubt of it.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN I had this robe made for me.
DANCING MASTER It's very attractive.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN My tailor told me the people of quality dress like this in the mornings.
MUSIC MASTER It's marvelously becoming.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Hey lackeys! My two lackeys!
FIRST LACKEY What do you wish, Sir?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Nothing. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
(To the two masters) What say you of my liveries?
DANCING MASTER They're magnificent.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN (Half opening his gown, showing a pair of tight red velvet breeches, and a green velvet vest, that he is wearing) Here again is a sort of lounging dress to perform my morning exercises in.
MUSIC MASTER It is elegant.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Lackey!
FIRST LACKEY Sir?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN The other lackey!
SECOND LACKEY Sir?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Hold my robe.
(To the Masters) Do you think I look good?
DANCING MASTER Very well. No one could look better.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Now let's have a look at your little show.
MUSIC MASTER I would like very much for you to listen to a melody he
(indicating his student) has just composed for the serenade that you ordered from me. He's one of my pupils who has an admirable talent for these kinds of things.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Yes, but you should not have had that done by a pupil; you yourself were none too good for that piece of work.
MUSIC MASTER You must not let the name of pupil fool you, sir. Pupils of this sort know as much as the greatest masters, and the melody is as fine as could be made. Just listen.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN (To Lackeys) Give me my robe so I can listen better . . . Wait, I believe I would be better without a robe. . . No, give it back, that will be better.
MUSICIAN (Singing)
I languish night and day, my suffering is extreme
Since to your control your lovely eyes subjected me;
If you thus treat, fair Iris, those you love,
Alas, how would you treat an enemy? MONSIEUR JOURDAIN This song seems to me a little mournful, it lulls to sleep, and I would like it if you could liven it up a little, here and there.
MUSIC MASTER It is necessary, Sir, that the tune be suited to the words.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Someone taught me a perfectly pretty one some time ago. Listen . . . Now . . . how does it go?
DANCING MASTER By my faith, I don't know.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN There are sheep in it.
DANCING MASTER Sheep?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Yes. Ah!
(He sings) I thought my Jeanneton
As beautiful as sweet;
I thought my Janneton
Far sweeter than a sheep.
Alas! Alas! She is a hundred times,
A thousand times, more cruel
Than tigers in the woods! Isn't it pretty?
MUSIC MASTER The prettiest in the world.
DANCING MASTER And you sing it well.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN It's without having learned music.
MUSIC MASTER You ought to learn it, Sir, as you are learning dancing. They are two arts which have a close connection.
DANCING MASTER And which open the mind of a man to fine things.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN And do people of quality learn music, too?
MUSIC MASTER Yes sir.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN I'll learn it then. But I don't know when I can find time; for besides the Fencing Master who's teaching me, I have also engaged a master of philosophy who is to begin this morning.
MUSIC MASTER Philosophy is something; but music, sir, music . . .
DANCING MASTER Music and dancing, music and dancing, that's all that's necessary.
MUSIC MASTER There's nothing so useful in a State as music.
DANCING MASTER There's nothing so necessary to men as dancing.
MUSIC MASTER Without music, a State cannot subsist.
DANCING MASTER Without the dance, a man can do nothing.
MUSIC MASTER All the disorders, all the wars one sees in the world happen only from not learning music.
DANCING MASTER All the misfortunes of mankind, all the dreadful disasters that fill the history books, the blunders of politicians and the faults of omission of great commanders, all this comes from not knowing how to dance.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN How is that?
MUSIC MASTER Does not war result from a lack of agreement between men?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN That is true.
MUSIC MASTER And if all men learned music, wouldn't that be a means of bringing about harmony and of seeing universal peace in the world?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN You are right.
DANCING MASTER When a man has committed a mistake in his conduct, in family affairs, or in affairs of government of a state, or in the command of an army, do we not always say, "He took a bad step in such and such an affair?"
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Yes, that's said.
DANCING MASTER And can taking a bad step result from anything but not knowing how to dance?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN It's true, you are both right.
DANCING MASTER It makes you see the excellence and usefulness of music and the dance.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN I understand that, now.
MUSIC MASTER Do you wish to see our pieces?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Yes.
MUSIC MASTER I have already told you that this is a little attempt I have made to show the different passions that music can express.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Very good.
MUSIC MASTER (To musicians) Here, come forward
. (To Monsieur Jourdain) You must imagine that they are dressed as shepherds.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Why always as shepherds? You see nothing but that everywhere.
MUSIC MASTER When we have characters that are to speak in music, it's necessary, for believability, to make them pastoral. Singing has always been assigned to shepherds; and it is scarcely natural dialogue for princes or merchants to sing their passions.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Alright, alright. Let's see.
DIALOGUE IN MUSIC (A Woman and Two Men) ALL THREE A heart, under the domination of love,
Is always with a thousand cares oppressed.
It is said that we gladly languish, gladly sigh;
But, despite what can be said,
There is nothing so sweet as our liberty! FIRST MAN There is nothing so sweet as the loving fires
That make two hearts beat as one.
One cannot live without amorous desires;
Take love from life, you take away the pleasures. SECOND MAN It would be sweet to submit to love's rule,
If one could find faithful love,
But, alas! oh cruel rule!
No faithful shepherdess is to be seen,
And that inconstant sex, much too unworthy,
Must renounce love eternally. FIRST MAN Pleasing ardor! WOMAN Happy liberty! SECOND MAN Deceitful woman! FIRST MAN How precious you are to me! WOMAN How you please my heart! SECOND MAN How horrible you are to me! FIRST MAN Ah, leave, for love, that mortal hate! WOMAN We can, we can show you a faithful shepherdess! SECOND MAN Alas! Where to find her? WOMAN In order to defend our reputation,
I want to offer you my heart! FIRST MAN But, shepherdess, can I believe
That it will not be deceitful? WOMAN We'll see through experience,
Who of the two loves best. SECOND MAN Who lacks constancy,
May the gods destroy! ALL THREE With ardors so beautiful
Let us be inflamed!
Ah, how sweet it is to love,
When two hearts are faithful! MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Is that all?
MUSIC MASTER Yes.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN I find it well-done, and there are some pretty enough sayings in it.
DANCING MASTER Here, for my presentation, is a little display of the loveliest movements and the most beautiful attitudes with which a dance can possibly be varied.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Are these shepherds too?
DANCING MASTER They're whatever you please. Let's go!
(Four dancers execute all the different movements and all the kinds of steps that the Dancing Master commands; and this dance makes the First Interlude.)