(Count Dorante, Monsieur Jourdain, Madame Jourdain, Nicole) DORANTE My dear friend, Monsieur Jourdain, how do you do?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Very well, sir, to render you my small services.
DORANTE And Madame Jourdain there, how is she?
MADAME JOURDAIN Madame Jourdain is as well as she can be.
DORANTE Well! Monsieur Jourdain, you are excellently well dressed!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN You see.
DORANTE You have a fine air in that suit, and we have no young men at court who are better made than you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Well! well!
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) He scratches him where it itches.
DORANTE Turn around. It's positively elegant.
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) Yes, as big a fool behind as in front.
DORANTE My faith, Monsieur Jourdain, I was strangely impatient to see you. You are the man in the world I esteem most, and I was speaking of you again this morning in the bedchamber of the King.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN You do me great honor, sir.
(To Madame Jourdain) In the King's bedchamber!
DORANTE Come, put on . . .
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Sir, I know the respect I owe you.
DORANTE Heavens! Put on your hat; I pray you, no ceremony between us.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Sir . . .
DORANTE Put it on, I tell you, Monsieur Jourdain: you are my friend.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Sir, I am your humble servant.
DORANTE I won't be covered if you won't.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN (Putting on his hat) I would rather be uncivil than troublesome.
DORANTE I am in your debt, as you know.
MADAME JOURDAIN Yes, we know it all too well.
DORANTE You have generously lent me money upon several occasions, and you have obliged me with the best grace in the world, assuredly.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Sir, you jest with me.
DORANTE But I know how to repay what is lent me, and to acknowledge the favors rendered me.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN I have no doubt of it, sir.
DoRANTE I want to settle this matter with you, and I came here to make up our accounts together.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN There wife! You see your impertinence!
DORANTE I am a man who likes to repay debts as soon as I can.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN (Aside to Madame Jourdain) I told you so.
DORANTE Let's see how much do I owe you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN (Aside to Madame Jourdain) There you are, with your ridiculous suspicions.
DORANTE Do you remember well all the money you have lent me?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN I believe so. I made a little note of it. Here it is. Once you were given two hundred louis d'or.
DORANTE That's true.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Another time, six-score.
DORANTE Yes.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN And another time, a hundred and forty.
DORANTE You're right.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN These three items make four hundred and sixty louis d'or, which comes to five thousand sixty livres.
DORANTE The account is quite right. Five thousand sixty livres.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN One thousand eight hundred thirty-two livres to your plume-maker.
DORANTE Exactly.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Two thousand seven hundred eighty livres to your tailor.
DoRANTE It's true.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Four thousand three hundred seventy-nine livres twelve sols eight deniers to your tradesman.
DORANTE Quite right. Twelve sols eight deniers. The account is exact.
MONSIEUR JouRDAIN And one thousand seven hundred forty-eight livres seven sols four deniers to your saddler.
DORANTE All that is true. What does that come to?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Sum total, fifteen thousand eight hundred livres.
DORANTE The sum total is exact: fifteen thousand eight hundred livres. To which add two hundred pistoles that you are going to give me, which will make exactly eighteen thousand francs, which I shall pay you at the first opportunity.
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) Well, didn't I predict it?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Peace!
DORANTE Will that inconvenience you, to give me the amount I say?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Oh, no!
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) That man is making a milk-cow out of you!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Be quiet!
DoRANTE If that inconveniences you, I will seek it somewhere else.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN NO, Sir.
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) He won't be content until he's ruined you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Be quiet, I tell you.
DORANTE You have only to tell me if that embarrasses you.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Not at all, sir.
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) He's a real wheedler!
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Hush.
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) He'll drain you to the last sou.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN Will you be quiet?
DORANTE I have a number of people who would gladly lend it to me; but since you are my best friend, I believed I might do you wrong if I asked someone else for it.
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN It's too great an honor, sir, that you do me. I'll go get it for you.
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) What! You're going to give it to him again?
MONSIEUR JOURDAIN What can I do? Do you want me to refuse a man of this station, who spoke about me this morning in the King's bedchamber?
MADAME JOURDAIN (Aside) Go on, you're a true dupe.