JEREMY, SIR SAMPSON LEGEND, with a LAWYER.
SIR SAMPSON LEGEND D'ye see, Mr Buckram, here's the paper signed with his own hand.
BUCKRAM Good, sir. And the conveyance is ready drawn in this box, if he be ready to sign and seal.
SIR SAMPSON LEGEND Ready, body o' me? He must be ready. His sham-sickness shan't excuse him. Oh, here's his scoundrel. Sirrah, where's your master?
JEREMY Ah sir, he's quite gone.
SIR SAMPSON LEGEND Gone! What, he is not dead?
JEREMY No, sir, not dead.
SIR SAMPSON LEGEND What, is he gone out of town, run away, ha? has he tricked me? Speak, varlet.
JEREMY No, no, sir, he's safe enough, sir, an he were but as sound, poor gentleman. He is indeed here, sir, and not here, sir.
SIR SAMPSON LEGEND Hey day, rascal, do you banter me? Sirrah, d'ye banter me? Speak, sirrah, where is he? for I will find him.
JEREMY Would you could, sir, for he has lost himself. Indeed, sir, I have a'most broke my heart about him--I can't refrain tears when I think of him, sir: I'm as melancholy for him as a passing-bell, sir, or a horse in a pound.
SIR SAMPSON LEGEND A pox confound your similitudes, sir. Speak to be understood, and tell me in plain terms what the matter is with him, or I'll crack your fool's skull.
JEREMY Ah, you've hit it, sir; that's the matter with him, sir: his skull's cracked, poor gentleman; he's stark mad, sir.
SIR SAMPSON LEGEND Mad!
BUCKRAM What, is he non compos?
JEREMY Quite non compos, sir.
BUCKRAM Why, then, all's obliterated, Sir Sampson, if he be non compos mentis; his act and deed will be of no effect, it is not good in law.
SIR SAMPSON LEGEND Oons, I won't believe it; let me see him, sir. Mad--I'll make him find his senses.
JEREMY Mr Scandal is with him, sir; I'll knock at the door.
[Goes to the scene, which opens.]