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Peregrine’s Progress
Book 1. The Silent Places   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 9. Describes The Woes Of Galloping Jerry, A Notorious Highwayman
Jeffery Farnol
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       _ BOOK I. THE SILENT PLACES
       CHAPTER IX. DESCRIBES THE WOES OF GALLOPING JERRY, A NOTORIOUS HIGHWAYMAN
       "An' now--wot about my door?" demanded a gruff voice. Starting, I turned to find the landlord at my elbow and immediately my forlornness grew intensified. I felt miserably helpless and at a loss, for the man's sullen face seemed to hold positive menace and I yearned mightily for Anthony's masterful presence beside me or a little of his polite ferocity.
       "Come--wot about my door?" demanded the landlord, more threatening than ever. "Ten shillin' won't mend my door--"
       "What door?" I questioned, fronting his insolent look with as much resolution as I could summon.
       "The door as you an' that desp'rit villain broke betwixt ye--fifteen shillin'--ah, a pound won't pay for the mendin' o' my door--wot about it--come!" Here he lurched towards me, shoulders hunched, chin brutally out-thrust so that I shrank instinctively from him, perceiving which, he grew the more aggressive.
       "That will do!" said I in woefully feeble imitation of Anthony's masterful manner. "That will do--and what is more--"
       "Oh, will it do? Wot about my door?"
       "You may charge it in your bill--"
       "Not me, by goles! 'T is money as I wants--thirty shillin'--in my 'and--this 'ere very moment."
       "I intend to stay the night, so will you please have a fire lighted in your best--"
       "Thirty-five shillin's the word--in my 'and--this moment--my fine little gent--that's wot!"
       Feeling myself quite powerless to cope with this drunken creature, I shrank before him, trembling with mingled rage and disgust; perceiving which, he scowled the fiercer and thrust a hairy fist into my face. Threatened thus with bodily harm, I glanced hastily over my shoulder with some wild notion of ignominious flight, but dignity forbidding, I stood my ground sick with apprehension and with my sweating hands tight-clenched.
       "Smell it!" quoth the landlord, setting his fist under my nose. "Which is it t' be,--forty shillin' or this?"
       I was groping for my purse when over my shoulder came a large, plump, red hand that took my scowling aggressor by an ear and tweaked it till he writhed, and turning, I beheld the large, plump woman who, putting me aside, interposed her comfortable bulk before me.
       "Oh, Sammy," sighed she reproachfully. "You been a-drinkin' again--shame on ye to go a-frightin' an' a-scarin' this poor child. Go an' put your wicked 'ead under the pump this instant, you bad boy. As for you, my pore lamb, never 'eed 'im; 'e bean't so bad when 'e's sober. Come your ways along o' me, dearie." And folding me within one robust arm she brought me into that room that was half bar and half kitchen.
       "There!" she exclaimed, leading me to the great settle beside the fire. "Sit ye there, my lamb, and never mind nobody. Lor'! You be a-shiverin' an' shakin' like a little asp, I declare. Poor child!" sighed she, gustily commiserate, and patting my head with her great plump hand. "Pore little soul--never mind, then!"
       "Madam," said I, somewhat overwhelmed by her solicitude, "I am not so very--so extreme youthful as you deem me."
       "Ain't you, lovey?"
       "Indeed, no! I am nineteen."
       "Nineteen, dearie--lor', an' you s' small an' all--"
       "I am five feet three--almost!"
       "Are ye, dearie--lor'! But then I'm s' big, most other folks seems small to me--'specially men--men is all children--'specially my man. Which do mind me. Sammy," she called, "go into the wash'us an' let Susie pump on ye. Susie, jest you pump water on your master's 'ead--this moment."
       "Yes, ma'm!" And presently sure enough, from somewhere adjacent rose the clank of a pump to the accompaniment of much splashing and gasping.
       "That'll do, Susie!"
       "Yes, ma'm."
       "Now you, Sammy, go an' lie down--this moment. 'E'll be all right arter this, dearie. Susie!"
       "Yes, ma'm."
       "Go light a fire for this young genelman in Number Four. This moment."
       "Yes, ma'm."
       "The best chamber but one, dearie. And a feather bed!" All this as she bustled to and fro, and very quietly despite her size, while I sat gazing into the fire and hearkening to the patter of rain on the windows and the wind that howled dismally without and rumbled in the wide chimney so that I must needs wonder how it fared with the travellers and if I should ever see either of them again.
       "You look very lonesome, dearie!" remarked the landlady at last, with a large wooden spoon in her hand. "Can I get ye anythink? A drop o' kind rum or nice brandy--or say a glass o' purl--a drop o' purl took warm would be very comfortin' for your little inside."
       "Thank you--no!" said I, a little shortly. "But if you could oblige me with pen, ink and paper, I should be grateful."
       "Why, for sure, though I'm afraid the pen's broke."
       "I'll cut another."
       "Ye see there ain't much writin' done 'ere, 'cept by me with my B-e-t-y for Betty and S-a-m-i-e for Samuel." So saying, she presently set out the articles in question; then, having made shift to cut and trim a new point to the quill, I wrote as follows:
       
NOBLEST AND BEST OF AUNTS:
       It is now an eternity of twenty-four hours since I left the secure haven of your loving care. Within this space I have found the world more wonderful than my dreams and man more varied than a book. I have also learned to know myself for no poet--it remains for me to convince myself that I am truly a man.
       As to my sudden departure, I do beg you to banish from your mind any doubt of my deep love and everlasting gratitude to you, the noblest of women, believe rather I was actuated by motives as unselfish as sincere. Writing this, I pray that though this separation pain you as it does me, it may yet serve to bring to you sooner or late a deeper happiness than your great unselfish heart has ever known. In which sincere hope I rest ever your grateful, loving
       PEREGRINE.
       P.S. I shall write you of my further adventures from time to time.

       I was in the act of folding my epistle when I started, for above the lash of rain and buffeting wind, it seemed that some one was hailing from the road. Presently, as I listened, I heard a mutter of rough voices without, a tramp of feet, and the door swung suddenly open to admit two men, or rather three, for between them they dragged one, a short, squat fellow in riding boots and horseman's coat, but all so torn and bedraggled, so foul of blood and mire, as to seem scarce human. His hat was gone and his long, rain-soaked hair clung in black tangles about his bruised face and as he stood, swaying in his bonds, I thought him the very figure of misery.
       "House!" roared one of his captors. "House--ho!" In response the landlady entered, followed by her sullen spouse (somewhat sobered by his late ablutions) and the man Vokes.
       "Lor'!" exclaimed the landlord, plump fists on plump hips and eyeing the newcomers very much askance. "An' what might all this be?"
       "Thieves, missus--a murderin' 'ighwayman--Galloping Jerry 'isself--a bloody rogue--"
       "'E looks it!" nodded the landlady. "Bleedin' all over my clean kitchen, 'e be. Take 'im out t' barn--"
       "Not us, ma'm, not us--'e's nigh give us the slip once a'ready, dang 'im!" Saying which, the speaker kicked the poor wretch so that he would have fallen but for the wall, whereupon the man Vokes laughed and nodded.
       "Ecod!" quoth he. "I'm minded to try my boots on 'im myself."
       "Not you, Mr. Vokes!" said the landlady. "No one ain't a-goin' t' kick nobody in my kitchen, and no more I don't want no murderin' 'ighwaymen neither--so out ye go."
       "Not us, missus, not us! We be officers--Bow Street officers--wi' a werry dangerous criminal took red 'anded an' a fifty-pound reward good as in our pockets--so 'ere we be, an' 'ere we bide till mornin'. Lay down, you!" Saying which he fetched the wretched captive a buffet that tumbled him into a corner where he lay, his muddy back supported in the angle. And lying thus, it chanced that his eye met mine, a bright eye, very piercing and keen. Now beholding him thus in his helplessness and misery, I will confess that my very natural and proper repugnance for him and his past desperate crimes was greatly modified by pity for his present deplorable situation, the which it seemed he was quick to notice, for with his keen gaze yet holding mine, he spoke, albeit mumbling and somewhat indistinct by reason of his swollen lips:
       "Oh, brother, I'm parched wi' thirst--a drink o' water--"
       "Stow ye gab!" growled the man Tom. "Gi'e him one for 'is nob, Jimmy." But as his nearer captor raised his cudgel, I sprang to my feet.
       "That'll do!" I cried so imperatively that the fellow stayed his blow and turned to stare, as did the others. "You've maltreated him enough," said I, quite beside myself; "if he desires a little water where's the harm; he will find few enough comforts where he is going?" And taking up a jug of water that chanced to be near I approached the poor wretch, but ere I could reach him, the man Tom interposed, yet as he eyed me over, from rumpled cravat to dusty Hessians, his manner underwent a subtle change.
       "No, no, young sir--can't be--I knows a genelman when I sees one, but it's no go--Jerry's a rare desperate cove an' oncommon sly--"
       "Then give him the water yourself--"
       "Not me, sir!"
       "I tell you the man is faint with thirst and ill-usage--"
       "Then let 'im faint. A young gent like you don't want nothin' to do wi' th' likes o' 'im--let 'im faint--"
       At this I set down the jug and taking out my purse, extracted a guinea.
       "Landlord," said I, tossing the coin upon the table, "a bottle of your best rum for the officers--a bowl of punch would do none of us any harm, I think."
       "Lor'!" exclaimed the landlady, sitting down heavily.
       "By goles!" quoth the landlord, reaching for the guinea.
       "Allus know a genelman when I sees one!" said the man Tom, making a leg to me and knuckling shaggy eyebrow. So they suffered me to take the water to their prisoner, who drank avidly, his eyes upraised to mine in speechless gratitude.
       "Don't believe 'em, brother," he whispered under cover of the talk where the others clustered around the hearth watching the preparations for the punch; "don't believe 'em, friend--I'm no murderer an' my pore old stricken mother on 'er knees for me this night, an' my sweet wife an' babbies weepin' their pretty eyes out, an' all for me. I'm a pore lame dog, brother, an' here's a stile as be 'ard to come over; howsomever, whether 'tis sweet wind an' open road for me by an' by, or Tyburn Tree--why God love ye for this, brother!"
       Here he closed his eyes and bowed his head as one in prayer, for I saw his swollen lips moving painfully, then glancing up, beheld the man Jimmy watching us.
       "Wot's Jerry a-sayin' of, sir?" he questioned.
       "Praying, I believe."
       "More like cursing. Jerry's a-flamming o' ye, young sir. An' the punch is ready at last." So while the storm raged outside, we sat down at the table beside the hearth where glasses were filled from a great bowl of steaming brew and forthwith emptied to my very good health. And now to the accompaniment of howling wind and lashing rain, the Bow Street officers recounted the history of Galloping Jerry's capture.
       "'T were this evenin' as ever was just about dark, on the 'ill yonder. About 'arf way up there's a biggish tree, an' we was a-layin' for 'im there, Jimmy an' me, wi' our barkers ready, 'avin' been given the office. Presently we 'ears the sound o' hoofs an' down 'ill easy-like comes a mounted cove. It's 'im!' says I. 'Sure?' says Jimmy. 'Sartin,' says I, 'I knows 'im by 'is 'at!' 'Werry good!' says Jimmy, an' lets fly an' down comes the 'oss 'eadfirst, squealin' like a stuck pig, an' away down 'ill shoots Jerry, rollin' over an' over, an' then we was on 'im wi' our truncheons an' we give 'im wot for--eh, Jimmy?"
       "Ar!" quoth Jimmy. "We did!"
       "And a werry pretty little job it were--eh, Jimmy?"
       "Ar!" quoth Jimmy. "It were!"
       "Considerin' 'im such a werry desp'rit cove an' all--an' a pair o' popps in 'is 'olsters as long as your arm--they're in the pockets o' my greatcoat yonder--you can see 'em stickin' out. Yes, a sweet, pretty bit o' work as ever we done, eh, Jimmy?"
       "Ar--though 'e floored you once."
       "Aye--that was when 'e slipped off the darbies--Oh, a desp'rit cove an' the more credit to us! A desp'rit villain--slipped th' darbies, 'e did, an' us was forced to truss 'im wi' rope."
       Here every one vied in expressions of acclaim and all eyes turned to that shadowy corner where the prisoner sat crouched in the same posture, bloody head bowed feebly on bowed breast. And now, as the glasses emptied and were refilled (with the exception of mine), we hearkened to tales of horrid murders and ghastly suicides, of gruesome deeds and bloody affrays of hunters and hunted until the landlady gasped and, calling the maid for company, went off to bed, while the men turned to stare uneasily behind them and I myself felt my flesh creep. But as the great bowl emptied, tongues began to stutter, and in the midst of a somewhat incoherent reminiscence of Tom's, the man Vokes snored loudly, whereupon Tom blinked and pillowing his bullet head on the table, promptly snored also; and glancing drowsily around upon the others, I saw they slumbered every one. Hereupon I rose, minded to seek my chamber, but before I reached the door I was arrested by a hoarse whisper:
       "Brother--for th' love o' God!"
       Peering towards the captive, I saw him upon his back, his face ghastly in the shadow. "Oh, brother," he whispered faintly, "I think I'm a-dyin'! Show kindness to a dyin' man an' ease my poor arms a bit." Moved by pity for his misery and seeing how cruelly he was bound, I contrived, with no small ado, to loosen his bonds somewhat, whereupon he blessed me faintly and closed his eyes. "If ye could bring me a drop more water, death 'ud come easier," he whispered.
       So I rose and, coming to the table, found the jug empty, therefore out I went to the place beyond where I judged was the pump, and here found a bucket brimming with water wherewith I filled the jug. Creeping back to the kitchen, I stopped at once, my heart thumping, for to my wonder and dismay I beheld the prisoner on his feet, free of his bonds and rubbing and chafing his wrists and hands and arms. Then all at once this pitiful creature leapt to swift and terrible action, for at one bound, as it seemed, he had reached the chair where hung the officer's greatcoat, whipped forth and cocked the pistols and with these murderous things levelled in his hands, crept upon the sleepers. The jug slipped from my nerveless hold and, roused by the crash of its fall, the man Tom lifted his head only to stare dazedly into the nearest pistol muzzle and the awful scowling face behind it; while the highwayman, reaching out his second pistol, awoke Mr. Vokes with a smart rap on the crown, whereupon, cursing drowsily, he sat up, clasping his hurt and immediately sank cowering in his chair, which action roused the landlord who stared, gasped a feeble "Lorramighty!" and sat motionless.
       "Norra word!" quoth the highwayman. "Let a man s' much as whisper an' I blow that man's face off. Ah, an' by hookey, I would, whether or no, if I was th' bloody rogue ye tell me for, 'stead of an 'ighly respectable genelman o' the road with a eye to business. So now turn out your pockets all--an' quick about it."
       It was strange to see with what apparent eagerness each man stripped himself of such valuables as he possessed, all of which the highwayman appraised with expert eye.
       "Young master," quoth he, beckoning to me with a flourish of his nearest pistol, "come you here!" Trembling I obeyed and at his command transferred the spoil to the capacious pockets of his muddy coat--in I thrust them with unsteady fingers,--rings, purses, a couple of watches, silver snuff and tobacco boxes, etc.: which done, he bade me fetch the ropes that had bound him.
       "Now you," quoth he, tapping the flinching Tom's bristly cheek with his pistol barrel, "you're a likely cove at tying knots--get to work, my lad, and sharp it is!"
       So under his watchful eye, Tom proceeded to bind his companions very securely to their chairs, which done, the highwayman again summoned me and commanding Tom to remove his belt, constrained me to bind the officer's arms behind him therewith and scarce knowing what I did, I lashed the man Tom fast to his chair. This done, the highwayman showed me how I must gag them and when this had been done to his satisfaction, he nodded:
       "And now," quoth the highwayman, his battered features twisted in a wry smile as they sat thus gagged and helpless, "hearken all. If I was the murderous cove you name me, I might cut your throats as ye sit, which would be a j'y, or I might shoot ye or set the place afire an' roast ye, 'stead o' which I spits on an' leaves ye. An' now, young master, for your own sake--come along o' me; they'll likely be arter you too for this as a accomplice o' the fact. So come along o' Jerry an' damn their eyes an' limbs, say I!" With which, having stayed to kick Mr. Vokes and the two Bow Street officers, he thrust pistols into pockets and seizing me in powerful grip, hurried me away. _
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Ante Scriptum
Book 1. The Silent Places
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 1. Introducing Myself
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 2. Tells How And Why I Set Forth Upon The Quest In Question
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 3. Wherein The Reader Shall Find Some Description Of An Extraordinary Tinker
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 4. In Which I Meet A Down-At-Heels Gentleman
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 5. Further Concerning The Aforesaid Gentleman, One Anthony
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 6. Describes Certain Lively Happenings At The "Jolly Waggoner" Inn
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 7. White Magic
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 8. I Am Left Forlorn
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 9. Describes The Woes Of Galloping Jerry, A Notorious Highwayman
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 10. The Philosophy Of The Same
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 11. Which Proves Beyond All Argument That Clothes Make The Man
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 12. The Price Of A Goddess
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 13. Which Tells Somewhat Of My Deplorable Situation
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 14. In Which I Satisfy Myself Of My Cowardice
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 15. Proving That A Goddess Is Wholly Feminine
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 16. In Which I Begin To Appreciate The Virtues Of The Chaste Goddess
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 17. How We Set Out For Tonbridge
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 18. Concerning The Grammar Of A Goddess
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 19. How And Why I Fought With One Gabbing Dick, A Peddler
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 20. Of The Tongue Of A Woman And The Feet Of A Goddess
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 21. In Which I Learned That I Am Less Of A Coward Than I Had Supposed
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 22. Describing The Hospitality Of One Jerry Jarvis A Tinker
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 23. Discusses The Virtues Op The Onion
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 24. How I Met One Jessamy Todd, A Snatcher Of Souls
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 25. Tells Of My Adventures At The Fair
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 26. The Ethics Of Prigging
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 27. Juno Versus Diana
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 28. Exemplifying That Clothes Do Make The Man
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 29. Tells Of An Ominous Meeting
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 30. Of A Truly Memorable Occasion
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 31. A Vereker's Advice To A Vereker
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 32. How I Made A Surprising Discovery, Which, However, May Not Surprise The Reader In The Least
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 33. Of Two Incomparable Things. The Voice Of Diana And Jessamy's "Right"
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 34. The Noble Art Of Organ-Playing
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 35. Of A Shadow In The Sun
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 36. Tells How I Met Anthony Again
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 37. A Disquisition On True Love
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 38. A Crucifixion
   Book 1. The Silent Places - Chapter 39. How I Came Home Again
Book 2. Shadow
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 1. The Incidents Of An Early Morning Walk
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 2. Introducing Jasper Shrig, A Bow Street Runner
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 3. Concerning A Black Postchaise
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 4. Of A Scarabaeus Ring And A Gossamer Veil
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 5. Storm And Tempest
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 6. I Am Haunted Of Evil Dreams
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 7. Concerning The Song Of A Blackbird At Evening
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 8. The Deeps Of Hell
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 9. Concerning The Opening Of A Door
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 10. Tells How A Mystery Was Resolved
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 11. Which Shows That My Uncle Jervas Was Right, After All
   Book 2. Shadow - Chapter 12. How I Went Upon An Expedition With Mr. Shrig
Book 3. Dawn
   Book 3. Dawn - Chapter 1. Concerning One Tom Martin, An Ostler
   Book 3. Dawn - Chapter 2. I Go To Find Diana
   Book 3. Dawn - Chapter 3. Tells How I Found Diana And Sooner Than I Deserved
   Book 3. Dawn - Chapter 4. I Wait For A Confession
   Book 3. Dawn - Chapter 5. In Which We Meet Old Friends
   Book 3. Dawn - Chapter 6. Which, As The Patient Reader Sees, Is The Last