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Essay(s) by Arthur Brisbane
The Monkey And The Snake Fight
Arthur Brisbane
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       We wish to tell you of the monkey and the snake fight, described by a witness in the Lahore Tribune. ----
       Before men arrived on earth, when all the animals were racing for supremacy, the monkey seemed to have the smallest chance. No one would have guessed that the descendants of this feeble, defenseless little brute would eventually rule the earth, killing off tigers, lions and the other huge monsters at pleasure.
       We have before called your attention in this column to the fact that the monkey, or some animal like him, had the honor of contributing our proud human services as the world's rulers BECAUSE HE COULD USE HIS BRAIN.
       That fight between the monkey and the cobra illustrates this quite clearly.
       The monkey was a little monkey, with scarcely enough muscle to strangle a hen.
       His little black finger-nails could hurt nobody. His teeth were fit only to nibble fruit or to chatter in rage at his fellow monkeys.
       This monkey had the misfortune to annoy a huge cobra.
       Mr. Cobra is the most dangerous, the most formidably armed, of all living animals. He is a solid mass of muscle, gifted with lightning speed. The slightest touch of his fangs means death.
       The brain of the cobra is about as big as a mustard seed. The brain of the monkey--even a small one--is several hundred times as big as the brain of the largest snake. We refer to the cerebrum, the front brain, which does the thinking.
       The monkey annoyed the snake, and the snake chased him. Mr. Monkey, shrieking and chattering, rushed over the ground until he came to a rock. He stood still in front of the rock.
       The snake dashed its head at him to annihilate him; the monkey jumped to one side and let the snake beat its head against the rock.
       Over and over, this operation was repeated, the monkey with lightning speed avoiding the dart of the snake, and the snake, with never-ending stupidity, dashing its head against the rock.
       Eventually the powerful, dangerous snake was stretched out at full length, bleeding and tired out.
       The monkey was not bleeding and not tired. He was extremely cheerful. He seized the snake by the neck, just back of the head, and placidly proceeded to rub its head off on the stone.
       When he had rubbed the head to a pulp. incidentally destroying its primitive brain, he left the dead snake lying there, and gratefully accepted the Indian corn and sugar-cane donated by the admiring humans-his relatives-who had witnessed his performance. ----
       The monkey used his brain--the snake did not.
       The monkey did not say, but he might as well have said:
       "You need not wonder that my half-sister, Eve, crushed the serpent's head. We monkeys and humans have soft hands and no poison sacs, but WE KNOW HOW TO MAKE OUR BRAINS WORK, and that means that we rule creation."
       [The end]
       Arthur Brisbane's essay: Monkey And The Snake Fight
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The "Criminal" Class
"Limiting The Amount Of A Day's Work"
150 Against 150,000--We Favor The 150,000
600 Teachers Now, 600,000 Good Americans In The Future
Again The Limited Day's Work
Astronomy Woman's Future Work
The Automobile Will Make Us More Human
The Azores--A Small Lost World In A Universe Of Water
A Baby Can Educate A Man
Catching A Red-Hot Bolt
The Cow That Kicks Her Weaned Calf Is All Heart
Crime Is Dying Out
Cruel Frightening Of Children
Cultivate Thought--Teach Your Brain To Work Early
Did We Once Live On The Moon?
Discontent The Motive Power Of Progress
Do You Feel Discouraged?
Don't Be In A Hurry, Young Gentlemen
Drink A Slow Poison
The Drunkard's Side Of It
The Earth Is Only A Front Yard
Education--The First Duty Of Government
The Elephant That Will Not Move Has Better Excuses Than We Have For Folly Displayed
The Existence Of God--Parable Of The Blind Kittens
The Eye That Weighs A Ton
The Fascinating Problem Of Immortality
France Has Learned Her Lesson
From Mammoths To Mosquitoes --From Murder To Hypocrisy
A Girl's Face In The Gaslight And An Important Part Of The World's Work
The Good That Is Done By The Trusts
The Harm That Is Done By Our Friends
Have The Animals Souls?
How Marriage Began
How The Other Planets Will Talk To Us
The Human Brain Beats The Coal Mines
The Human Weeds In Prison
Imagination Without Dreaming The Secret Of Material Success
The Importance Of Education Proved In Lincoln's Case
It Is Natural For Children To Be Cruel
Jesus' Attitude Toward Children
Knowledge Is Growth
Last Week's Baby Will Surely Talk Some Day
Law Cannot Stop Drunkenness--Education Can
Let Us Be Thankful (Thanksgiving Day, Nov 27, 1902)
Let Us Be Thankful (Thanksgiving)
Man's Willingness To Work
The Marvellous Balance Of The Universe--A Lesson In The Texas Flood
The Monkey And The Snake Fight
A Mother's Work And Her Hopes
No Happiness Save In Mental And Physical Activity
No Man Understands Iron
No Napoleonic Chess Player On An Air Cushion
One Of The Many Corpses In The Johnstown Mine
The One Who Needs No Statue
The Owner Of A Golden Mountain
Poverty Is The Father Of Vice, Crime And Failure
The Promising Toad's Head
Respectable Women Who Listen To "Faust"
Shall We Do Without Sleep Some Day?
Shall We Tame And Chain The Invisible Microbe As We Now Chain Niagara?
The Steeple, Moving Like The Hand Of A Clock
The Story Of The Complaining Diamond
Study Of The Character Of God
There Should Be A Monument To Time
Those Who Laugh At A Drunken Man
The Three Best Things In The World
Three Water Drops Converse
To Editorial Writers--Adopt Ruskin's Main Idea
To The Merchants
To Those Who Drink Hard--You Have Slipped The Belt
To-Day's World-Struggle
Too Little And Too Much
Trusts And The Senate
The Trusts And The Union-- How Do They Differ?
The Trusts Are National School Teachers
Trusts Will Drive Labor Unions Into Politics
Try Whiskey On Your Friend's Eyeball
Two Kinds Of Discontent
Two Thin Little Babies Are Left
Union Men As Slave Owners
The Value Of Poverty To The World
The Value Of Solitude
The Vast Importance Of Sleep
We Long For Immortal Imperfection--We Can't Have It
What About The Chinese, Kind Sir?
What Animal Controls Your Spirit?
What Are The Ten Best Books?
What Should Be A Man's Object In Life?
What The Bartender Sees
What Will 999 Years Mean To The Human Race
When The Baby Changed Into A Fourteen-Year-Old
When We Begin Using Land Under The Oceans
When Will Woman's Mental Life Begin?
Where Your Body Came From
A Whiskey Bottle
White-Rabbit Millionaires And Other Things
Who Is Independent? Nobody
Why Are All Men Gamblers?
Why Women Should Vote
William Henry Channing's Symphony
The Wind Does Not Rule Your Destiny
Woman Sustains, Guides And Controls The World
A Woman To Be Pitied
Woman's Vanity Is Useful
The Wonderful Magnet
Your Work Is Your Brain's Gymnasium