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Contributions to All The Year Round
Rather a Strong Dose
Charles Dickens
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       _ "Doctor John Campbell, the minister of the Tabernacle Chapel,
       Finsbury, and editor of the British Banner, etc., with that massive
       vigour which distinguishes his style," did, we are informed by Mr.
       Howitt, "deliver a verdict in the Banner, for November, 1852," of
       great importance and favour to the Table-rapping cause. We are not
       informed whether the Public, sitting in judgment on the question,
       reserved any point in this great verdict for subsequent
       consideration; but the verdict would seem to have been regarded by a
       perverse generation as not quite final, inasmuch as Mr. Howitt finds
       it necessary to re-open the case, a round ten years afterwards, in
       nine hundred and sixty-two stiff octavo pages, published by Messrs.
       Longman and Company.
       Mr. Howitt is in such a bristling temper on the Supernatural
       subject, that we will not take the great liberty of arguing any
       point with him. But--with the view of assisting him to make
       converts--we will inform our readers, on his conclusive authority,
       what they are required to believe; premising what may rather
       astonish them in connexion with their views of a certain historical
       trifle, called The Reformation, that their present state of unbelief
       is all the fault of Protestantism, and that "it is high time,
       therefore, to protest against Protestantism".
       They will please to believe, by way of an easy beginning, all the
       stories of good and evil demons, ghosts, prophecies, communication
       with spirits, and practice of magic, that ever obtained, or are said
       to have ever obtained, in the North, in the South, in the East, in
       the West, from the earliest and darkest ages, as to which we have
       any hazy intelligence, real or supposititious, down to the yet
       unfinished displacement of the red men in North America. They will
       please to believe that nothing in this wise was changed by the
       fulfilment of our Saviour's mission upon earth; and further, that
       what Saint Paul did, can be done again, and has been done again. As
       this is not much to begin with, they will throw in at this point
       rejection of Faraday and Brewster, and "poor Paley", and implicit
       acceptance of those shining lights, the Reverend Charles Beecher,
       and the Reverend Henry Ward Beecher ("one of the most vigorous and
       eloquent preachers of America"), and the Reverend Adin Ballou.
       Having thus cleared the way for a healthy exercise of faith, our
       advancing readers will next proceed especially to believe in the old
       story of the Drummer of Tedworth, in the inspiration of George Fox,
       in "the spiritualism, prophecies, and provision" of Huntington the
       coal-porter (him who prayed for the leather breeches which
       miraculously fitted him), and even in the Cock Lane Ghost. They
       will please wind up, before fetching their breath, with believing
       that there is a close analogy between rejection of any such plain
       and proved facts as those contained in the whole foregoing
       catalogue, and the opposition encountered by the inventors of
       railways, lighting by gas, microscopes and telescopes, and
       vaccination. This stinging consideration they will always carry
       rankling in their remorseful hearts as they advance.
       As touching the Cock Lane Ghost, our conscience-stricken readers
       will please particularly to reproach themselves for having ever
       supposed that important spiritual manifestation to have been a gross
       imposture which was thoroughly detected. They will please to
       believe that Dr. Johnson believed in it, and that, in Mr. Howitt's
       words, he "appears to have had excellent reasons for his belief".
       With a view to this end, the faithful will be so good as to
       obliterate from their Boswells the following passage: "Many of my
       readers, I am convinced, are to this hour under an impression that
       Johnson was thus foolishly deceived. It will therefore surprise
       them a good deal when they are informed upon undoubted authority
       that Johnson was one of those by whom the imposture was detected.
       The story had become so popular, that he thought it should be
       investigated, and in this research he was assisted by the Rev. Dr.
       Douglas, now Bishop of Salisbury, the great detector of impostures"-
       -and therefore tremendously obnoxious to Mr. Howitt--"who informs me
       that after the gentlemen who went and examined into the evidence
       were satisfied of its falsity, Johnson wrote in their presence an
       account of it, which was published in the newspapers and Gentleman's
       Magazine, and undeceived the world". But as there will still remain
       another highly inconvenient passage in the Boswells of the true
       believers, they must likewise be at the trouble of cancelling the
       following also, referring to a later time: "He (Johnson) expressed
       great indignation at the imposture of the Cock Lane Ghost, and
       related with much satisfaction how he had assisted in detecting the
       cheat, and had published an account of it in the newspapers".
       They will next believe (if they be, in the words of Captain Bobadil,
       "so generously minded") in the transatlantic trance-speakers "who
       professed to speak from direct inspiration", Mrs. Cora Hatch, Mrs.
       Henderson, and Miss Emma Hardinge; and they will believe in those
       eminent ladies having "spoken on Sundays to five hundred thousand
       hearers"--small audiences, by the way, compared with the intelligent
       concourse recently assembled in the city of New York, to do honour
       to the Nuptials of General the Honourable T. Barnum Thumb. At about
       this stage of their spiritual education they may take the
       opportunity of believing in "letters from a distinguished gentleman
       of New York, in which the frequent appearance of the gentleman's
       deceased wife and of Dr. Franklin, to him and other well-known
       friends, are unquestionably unequalled in the annals of the
       marvellous". Why these modest appearances should seem at all out of
       the common way to Mr. Howitt (who would be in a state of flaming
       indignation if we thought them so), we could not imagine, until we
       found on reading further, "it is solemnly stated that the witnesses
       have not only seen but touched these spirits, and handled the
       clothes and hair of Franklin". Without presuming to go Mr. Howitt's
       length of considering this by any means a marvellous experience, we
       yet venture to confess that it has awakened in our mind many
       interesting speculations touching the present whereabout in space,
       of the spirits of Mr. Howitt's own departed boots and hats.
       The next articles of belief are Belief in the moderate figures of
       "thirty thousand media in the United States in 1853"; and in two
       million five hundred thousand spiritualists in the same country of
       composed minds, in 1855, "professing to have arrived at their
       convictions of spiritual communication from personal experience";
       and in "an average rate of increase of three hundred thousand per
       annum", still in the same country of calm philosophers. Belief in
       spiritual knockings, in all manner of American places, and, among
       others, in the house of "a Doctor Phelps at Stratford, Connecticut,
       a man of the highest character for intelligence", says Mr. Howitt,
       and to whom we willingly concede the possession of far higher
       intelligence than was displayed by his spiritual knocker, in
       "frequently cutting to pieces the clothes of one of his boys", and
       in breaking "seventy-one panes of glass"--unless, indeed, the
       knocker, when in the body, was connected with the tailoring and
       glazing interests. Belief in immaterial performers playing (in the
       dark though: they are obstinate about its being in the dark) on
       material instruments of wood, catgut, brass, tin, and parchment.
       Your belief is further requested in "the Kentucky Jerks". The
       spiritual achievements thus euphoniously denominated "appear", says
       Mr. Howitt, "to have been of a very disorderly kind". It appears
       that a certain Mr. Doke, a Presbyterian clergyman, "was first seized
       by the jerks", and the jerks laid hold of Mr. Doke in that
       unclerical way and with that scant respect for his cloth, that they
       "twitched him about in a most extraordinary manner, often when in
       the pulpit, and caused him to shout aloud, and run out of the pulpit
       into the woods, screaming like a madman. When the fit was over, he
       returned calmly to his pulpit and finished the service." The
       congregation having waited, we presume, and edified themselves with
       the distant bellowings of Doke in the woods, until he came back
       again, a little warm and hoarse, but otherwise in fine condition.
       "People were often seized at hotels, and at table would, on lifting
       a glass to drink, jerk the liquor to the ceiling; ladies would at
       the breakfast-table suddenly be compelled to throw aloft their
       coffee, and frequently break the cup and saucer." A certain
       venturesome clergyman vowed that he would preach down the Jerks,
       "but he was seized in the midst of his attempt, and made so
       ridiculous that he withdrew himself from further notice"--an example
       much to be commended. That same favoured land of America has been
       particularly favoured in the development of "innumerable mediums",
       and Mr. Howitt orders you to believe in Daniel Dunglas Home, Andrew
       Davis Jackson, and Thomas L. Harris, as "the three most remarkable,
       or most familiar, on this side of the Atlantic". Concerning Mr.
       Home, the articles of belief (besides removal of furniture) are,
       That through him raps have been given and communications made from
       deceased friends. That "his hand has been seized by spirit
       influence, and rapid communications written out, of a surprising
       character to those to whom they were addressed". That at his
       bidding, "spirit hands have appeared which have been seen, felt, and
       recognised frequently, by persons present, as those of deceased
       friends". That he has been frequently lifted up and carried,
       floating "as it were" through a room, near the ceiling. That in
       America, "all these phenomena have displayed themselves in greater
       force than here"--which we have not the slightest doubt of. That he
       is "the planter of spiritualism all over Europe". That "by
       circumstances that no man could have devised, he became the guest of
       the Emperor of the French, of the King of Holland, of the Czar of
       Russia, and of many lesser princes". That he returned from "this
       unpremeditated missionary tour", "endowed with competence"; but not
       before, "at the Tuileries, on one occasion when the emperor,
       empress, a distinguished lady, and himself only were sitting at
       table, a hand appeared, took up a pen, and wrote, in a strong and
       well-known character, the word Napoleon. The hand was then
       successively presented to the several personages of the party to
       kiss." The stout believer, having disposed of Mr. Home, and rested
       a little, will then proceed to believe in Andrew Davis Jackson, or
       Andrew Jackson Davis (Mr. Howitt, having no Medium at hand to settle
       this difference and reveal the right name of the seer, calls him by
       both names), who merely "beheld all the essential natures of things,
       saw the interior of men and animals, as perfectly as their exterior;
       and described them in language so correct, that the most able
       technologists could not surpass him. He pointed out the proper
       remedies for all the complaints, and the shops where they were to be
       obtained";--in the latter respect appearing to hail from an
       advertising circle, as we conceive. It was also in this gentleman's
       limited department to "see the metals in the earth", and to have
       "the most distant regions and their various productions present
       before him". Having despatched this tough case, the believer will
       pass on to Thomas L. Harris, and will swallow HIM easily, together
       with "whole epics" of his composition; a certain work "of scarcely
       less than Miltonic grandeur", called The Lyric of the Golden Age--a
       lyric pretty nigh as long as one of Mr. Howitt's volumes--dictated
       by Mr. (not Mrs.) Harris to the publisher in ninety-four hours; and
       several extempore sermons, possessing the remarkably lucid property
       of being "full, unforced, out-gushing, unstinted, and absorbing".
       The candidate for examination in pure belief, will then pass on to
       the spirit-photography department; this, again, will be found in so-
       favoured America, under the superintendence of Medium Mumler, a
       photographer of Boston: who was "astonished" (though, on Mr.
       Howitt's showing, he surely ought not to have been) "on taking a
       photograph of himself, to find also by his side the figure of a
       young girl, which he immediately recognised as that of a deceased
       relative. The circumstance made a great excitement. Numbers of
       persons rushed to his rooms, and many have found deceased friends
       photographed with themselves." (Perhaps Mr. Mumler, too, may become
       "endowed with competence" in time. Who knows?) Finally, the true
       believers in the gospel according to Howitt, have, besides, but to
       pin their faith on "ladies who see spirits habitually", on ladies
       who KNOW they have a tendency to soar in the air on sufficient
       provocation, and on a few other gnats to be taken after their
       camels, and they shall be pronounced by Mr. Howitt not of the
       stereotyped class of minds, and not partakers of "the astonishing
       ignorance of the press", and shall receive a first-class certificate
       of merit.
       But before they pass through this portal into the Temple of Serene
       Wisdom, we, halting blind and helpless on the steps, beg to suggest
       to them what they must at once and for ever disbelieve. They must
       disbelieve that in the dark times, when very few were versed in what
       are now the mere recreations of Science, and when those few formed a
       priesthood-class apart, any marvels were wrought by the aid of
       concave mirrors and a knowledge of the properties of certain odours
       and gases, although the self-same marvels could be reproduced before
       their eyes at the Polytechnic Institution, Regent Street, London,
       any day in the year. They must by no means believe that Conjuring
       and Ventriloquism are old trades. They must disbelieve all
       Philosophical Transactions containing the records of painful and
       careful inquiry into now familiar disorders of the senses of seeing
       and hearing, and into the wonders of somnambulism, epilepsy,
       hysteria, miasmatic influence, vegetable poisons derived by whole
       communities from corrupted air, diseased imitation, and moral
       infection. They must disbelieve all such awkward leading cases as
       the case of the Woodstock Commissioners and their man, and the case
       of the Identity of the Stockwell Ghost, with the maid-servant. They
       must disbelieve the vanishing of champion haunted houses (except,
       indeed, out of Mr. Howitt's book), represented to have been closed
       and ruined for years, before one day's inquiry by four gentlemen
       associated with this journal, and one hour's reference to the Local
       Rate-books. They must disbelieve all possibility of a human
       creature on the last verge of the dark bridge from Life to Death,
       being mysteriously able, in occasional cases, so to influence the
       mind of one very near and dear, as vividly to impress that mind with
       some disturbed sense of the solemn change impending. They must
       disbelieve the possibility of the lawful existence of a class of
       intellects which, humbly conscious of the illimitable power of GOD
       and of their own weakness and ignorance, never deny that He can
       cause the souls of the dead to revisit the earth, or that He may
       have caused the souls of the dead to revisit the earth, or that He
       can cause any awful or wondrous thing to be; but to deny the
       likelihood of apparitions or spirits coming here upon the stupidest
       of bootless errands, and producing credentials tantamount to a
       solicitation of our vote and interest and next proxy, to get them
       into the Asylum for Idiots. They must disbelieve the right of
       Christian people who do NOT protest against Protestantism, but who
       hold it to be a barrier against the darkest superstitions that can
       enslave the soul, to guard with jealousy all approaches tending down
       to Cock Lane Ghosts and suchlike infamous swindles, widely degrading
       when widely believed in; and they must disbelieve that such people
       have the right to know, and that it is their duty to know, wonder-
       workers by their fruits, and to test miracle-mongers by the tests of
       probability, analogy, and common sense. They must disbelieve all
       rational explanations of thoroughly proved experiences (only) which
       appear supernatural, derived from the average experience and study
       of the visible world. They must disbelieve the speciality of the
       Master and the Disciples, and that it is a monstrosity to test the
       wonders of show-folk by the same touchstone. Lastly, they must
       disbelieve that one of the best accredited chapters in the history
       of mankind is the chapter that records the astonishing deceits
       continually practised, with no object or purpose but the distorted
       pleasure of deceiving.
       We have summed up a few--not nearly all--of the articles of belief
       and disbelief to which Mr. Howitt most arrogantly demands an
       implicit adherence. To uphold these, he uses a book as a Clown in a
       Pantomime does, and knocks everybody on the head with it who comes
       in his way. Moreover, he is an angrier personage than the Clown,
       and does not experimentally try the effect of his red-hot poker on
       your shins, but straightway runs you through the body and soul with
       it. He is always raging to tell you that if you are not Howitt, you
       are Atheist and Anti-Christ. He is the sans-culotte of the
       Spiritual Revolution, and will not hear of your accepting this point
       and rejecting that;--down your throat with them all, one and
       indivisible, at the point of the pike; No Liberty, Totality,
       Fraternity, or Death!
       Without presuming to question that "it is high time to protest
       against Protestantism" on such very substantial grounds as Mr.
       Howitt sets forth, we do presume to think that it is high time to
       protest against Mr. Howitt's spiritualism, as being a little in
       excess of the peculiar merit of Thomas L. Harris's sermons, and
       somewhat TOO "full, out-gushing, unstinted, and absorbing". _