[To them] PETULANT, WITWOUD.
MILLAMANT Is your animosity composed, gentlemen?
WITWOUD Raillery, raillery, madam; we have no animosity. We hit off a little wit now and then, but no animosity. The falling out of wits is like the falling out of lovers:- we agree in the main, like treble and bass. Ha, Petulant?
PETULANT Ay, in the main. But when I have a humour to contradict -
WITWOUD Ay, when he has a humour to contradict, then I contradict too. What, I know my cue. Then we contradict one another like two battledores; for contradictions beget one another like Jews.
PETULANT If he says black's black--if I have a humour to say 'tis blue- -let that pass--all's one for that. If I have a humour to prove it, it must be granted.
WITWOUD Not positively must. But it may; it may.
PETULANT Yes, it positively must, upon proof positive.
WITWOUD Ay, upon proof positive it must; but upon proof presumptive it only may. That's a logical distinction now, madam.
MRS. MARWOOD I perceive your debates are of importance, and very learnedly handled.
PETULANT Importance is one thing and learning's another; but a debate's a debate, that I assert.
WITWOUD Petulant's an enemy to learning; he relies altogether on his parts.
PETULANT No, I'm no enemy to learning; it hurts not me.
MRS. MARWOOD That's a sign, indeed, it's no enemy to you.
PETULANT No, no, it's no enemy to anybody but them that have it.
MILLAMANT Well, an illiterate man's my aversion; I wonder at the impudence of any illiterate man to offer to make love.
WITWOUD That I confess I wonder at, too.
MILLAMANT Ah, to marry an ignorant that can hardly read or write!
PETULANT Why should a man be any further from being married, though he can't read, than he is from being hanged? The ordinary's paid for setting the psalm, and the parish priest for reading the ceremony. And for the rest which is to follow in both cases, a man may do it without book. So all's one for that.
MILLAMANT D'ye hear the creature? Lord, here's company; I'll begone.