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Fantasia of the Unconscious
Chapter 13. Cosmological
D.H.Lawrence
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       _ CHAPTER XIII. COSMOLOGICAL
       Well, dear reader, Chapter XII was short, and I hope you found it
       sweet.
       But remember, this is an essay on Child Consciousness, not a tract on
       Salvation. It isn't my fault that I am led at moments into
       exhortation.
       Well, then, what about it? One fact now seems very clear--at any rate
       to me. We've got to pause. We haven't got to gird our loins with a new
       frenzy and our larynxes with a new Glory Song. Not a bit of it. Before
       you dash off to put salt on the tail of a new religion or of a new
       Leader of Men, dear reader, sit down quietly and pull yourself
       together. Say to yourself: "Come now, what is it all about?" And
       you'll realize, dear reader, that you're all in a fluster, inwardly.
       Then say to yourself: "Why am I in such a fluster?" And you'll see
       you've no reason at all to be so: except that it's rather exciting to
       be in a fluster, and it may seem rather stale eggs to be in no fluster
       at all about anything. And yet, dear little reader, once you consider
       it quietly, it's _so_ much nicer _not_ to be in a fluster. It's so
       much nicer not to feel one's deeper innards storming like the Bay of
       Biscay. It is so much better to get up and say to the waters of one's
       own troubled spirit: Peace, be still ...! And they will be still ...
       perhaps.
       And then one realizes that all the wild storms of anxiety and frenzy
       were only so much breaking of eggs. It isn't our business to live
       anybody's life, or to die anybody's death, except our own. Nor to save
       anybody's soul, nor to put anybody in the right; nor yet in the wrong,
       which is more the point to-day. But to be still, and to ignore the
       false fine frenzy of the seething world. To turn away, now, each one
       into the stillness and solitude of his own soul. And there to remain
       in the quiet with the Holy Ghost which is to each man his own true
       soul.
       This is the way out of the vicious circle. Not to rush round on the
       periphery, like a rabbit in a ring, trying to break through. But to
       retreat to the very center, and there to be filled with a new strange
       stability, polarized in unfathomable richness with the center of
       centers. We are so silly, trying to invent devices and machines for
       flying off from the surface of the earth. Instead of realizing that
       for us the deep satisfaction lies not in escaping, but in getting into
       the perfect circuit of the earth's terrestrial magnetism. Not in
       breaking away. What is the good of trying to break away from one's
       own? What is the good of a tree desiring to fly like a bird in the
       sky, when a bird is rooted in the earth as surely as a tree is? Nay,
       the bird is only the topmost leaf of the tree, fluttering in the high
       air, but attached as close to the tree as any other leaf. Mr.
       Einstein's Theory of Relativity does not supersede the Newtonian Law
       of Gravitation or of Inertia. It only says, "Beware! The Law of
       Inertia is not the simple ideal proposition you would like to make of
       it. It is a vast complexity. Gravitation is not one elemental uncouth
       force. It is a strange, infinitely complex, subtle aggregate of
       forces." And yet, however much it may waggle, a stone does fall to
       earth if you drop it.
       We should like, vulgarly, to rejoice and say that the new Theory of
       Relativity releases us from the old obligation of centrality. It does
       no such thing. It only makes the old centrality much more strange,
       subtle, complex, and vital. It only robs us of the nice old ideal
       simplicity. Which ideal simplicity and logicalness has become such a
       fish-bone stuck in our throats.
       The universe is once more in the mental melting-pot. And you can melt
       it down as long as you like, and mutter all the jargon and
       abracadabra, _aldeboronti fosco fornio_ of science that mental
       monkey-tricks can teach you, you won't get anything in the end but a
       formula and a lie. The atom? Why, the moment you discover the atom it
       will explode under your nose. The moment you discover the ether it
       will evaporate. The moment you get down to the real basis of anything,
       it will dissolve into a thousand problematic constituents. And the
       more problems you solve, the more will spring up with their fingers at
       their nose, making a fool of you.
       There is only one clue to the universe. And that is the individual
       soul within the individual being. That outer universe of suns and
       moons and atoms is a secondary affair. It is the death-result of
       living individuals. There is a great polarity in life itself. Life
       itself is dual. And the duality is life and death. And death is not
       just shadow or mystery. It is the negative reality of life. It is what
       we call Matter and Force, among other things.
       Life is individual, always was individual and always will be. Life
       consists of living individuals, and always did so consist, in the
       beginning of everything. There never was any universe, any cosmos, of
       which the first reality was anything but living, incorporate
       individuals. I don't say the individuals were exactly like you and me.
       And they were never wildly different.
       And therefore it is time for the idealist and the scientist--they are
       one and the same, really--to stop his monkey-jargon about the atom and
       the origin of life and the mechanical clue to the universe. There
       isn't any such thing. I might as well say: "Then they took the cart,
       and rubbed it all over with grease. Then they sprayed it with white
       wine, and spun round the right wheel five hundred revolutions to the
       minute and the left wheel, in the opposite direction, seven hundred
       and seventy-seven revolutions to the minute. Then a burning torch was
       applied to each axle. And lo, the footboard of the cart began to
       swell, and suddenly as the cart groaned and writhed, the horse was
       born, and lay panting between the shafts." The whole scientific theory
       of the universe is not worth such a tale: that the cart conceived and
       gave birth to the horse.
       I do not believe one-fifth of what science can tell me about the sun.
       I do not believe for one second that the moon is a dead world
       spelched off from our globe. I do not believe that the stars came
       flying off from the sun like drops of water when you spin your wet
       hanky. I have believed it for twenty years, because it seemed so
       ideally plausible. Now I don't accept any ideal plausibilities at all.
       I look at the moon and the stars, and I know I don't believe anything
       that I am told about them. Except that I like their names, Aldebaran
       and Cassiopeia, and so on.
       I have tried, and even brought myself to believe in a clue to the
       outer universe. And in the process I have swallowed such a lot of
       jargon that I would rather listen now to a negro witch-doctor than to
       Science. There is nothing in the world that is true except empiric
       discoveries which work in actual appliances. I know that the sun is
       hot. But I won't be told that the sun is a ball of blazing gas which
       spins round and fizzes. No, thank you.
       At length, for _my_ part, I know that life, and life only is the clue
       to the universe. And that the living individual is the clue to life.
       And that it always was so, and always will be so.
       When the living individual dies, then is the realm of death
       established. Then you get Matter and Elements and atoms and forces and
       sun and moon and earth and stars and so forth. In short, the outer
       universe, the Cosmos. The Cosmos is nothing but the aggregate of the
       dead bodies and dead energies of bygone individuals. The dead bodies
       decompose as we know into earth, air, and water, heat and radiant
       energy and free electricity and innumerable other scientific facts.
       The dead souls likewise decompose--or else they don't decompose. But
       if they _do_ decompose, then it is not into any elements of Matter and
       physical energy. They decompose into some psychic reality, and into
       some potential will. They reenter into the living psyche of living
       individuals. The living soul partakes of the dead souls, as the living
       breast partakes of the outer air, and the blood partakes of the sun.
       The soul, the individuality, never resolves itself through death into
       physical constituents. The dead soul remains always soul, and always
       retains its individual quality. And it does not disappear, but
       reenters into the soul of the living, of some living individual or
       individuals. And there it continues its part in life, as a
       death-witness and a life-agent. But it does not, ordinarily, have any
       separate existence there, but is incorporate in the living individual
       soul. But in some extraordinary cases, the dead soul may really act
       separately in a living individual.
       How this all is, and what are the laws of the relation between life
       and death, the living and the dead, I don't know. But that this
       relation exists, and exists in a manner as I describe it, for my own
       part I know. And I am fully aware that once we direct our living
       attention this way, instead of to the absurdity of the atom, then we
       have a whole _living_ universe of knowledge before us. The universe of
       life and death, of which we, whose business it is to live and to die,
       know nothing. Whilst concerning the universe of Force and Matter we
       pile up theories and make staggering and disastrous discoveries of
       machinery and poison-gas, all of which we were much better without.
       It is life we have to live by, not machines and ideals. And life means
       nothing else, even, but the spontaneous living soul which is our
       central reality. The spontaneous, living, individual soul, this is the
       clue, and the only clue. All the rest is derived.
       How it is contrived that the individual soul in the living sways the
       very sun in its centrality, I do not know. But it is so. It is the
       peculiar dynamic polarity of the living soul in every weed or bug or
       beast, each one separately and individually polarized with the great
       returning pole of the sun, that maintains the sun alive. For I take it
       that the sun is the great sympathetic center of our inanimate
       universe. I take it that the sun breathes in the effluence of all that
       fades and dies. Across space fly the innumerable vibrations which are
       the basis of all matter. They fly, breathed out from the dying and the
       dead, from all that which is passing away, even in the living. These
       vibrations, these elements pass away across space, and are breathed
       back again. The sun itself is invisible as the soul. The sun itself is
       the soul of the inanimate universe, the aggregate clue to the
       substantial death, if we may call it so. The sun is the great active
       pole of the sympathetic death-activity. To the sun fly the vibrations
       or the molecules in the great sympathy-mode of death, and in the sun
       they are renewed, they turn again as the great gift back again from
       the sympathetic death-center towards life, towards the living. But it
       is not even the dead which _really_ sustain the sun. It is the dynamic
       relation between the solar plexus of individuals and the sun's core, a
       perfect circuit. The sun is materially composed of all the effluence
       of the dead. But the _quick_ of the sun is polarized with the living,
       the sun's quick is polarized in dynamic relation with the quick of
       life in all living things, that is, with the solar plexus in mankind.
       A direct dynamic connection between my solar plexus and the sun.
       Likewise, as the sun is the great fiery, vivifying pole of the
       inanimate universe, the moon is the other pole, cold and keen and
       vivifying, corresponding in some way to a _voluntary_ pole. We live
       between the polarized circuit of sun and moon. And the moon is
       polarized with the lumbar ganglion, primarily, in man. Sun and moon
       are dynamically polarized to our actual tissue, they affect this
       tissue all the time.
       The moon is, as it were, the pole of our particular terrestrial
       _volition_, in the universe. What holds the earth swinging in space is
       first, the great dynamic attraction to the sun, and then counterposing
       assertion of independence, singleness, which is polarized in the moon.
       The moon is the clue to our earth's individual identity, in the wide
       universe.
       The moon is an immense magnetic center. It is quite wrong to say she
       is a dead snowy world with craters and so on. I should say she is
       composed of some very intense element, like phosphorus or radium, some
       element or elements which have very powerful chemical and kinetic
       activity, and magnetic activity, affecting us through space.
       It is not the sun which we see in heaven. It is the rushing thither
       and the rushing thence of the vibrations expelled by death from the
       body of life, and returned back again to the body of life. Possibly
       even a dead soul makes its journey to the sun and back, before we
       receive it again in our breast. Just as the breath we breathe out
       flies to the sun and back, before we breathe it in again. And as the
       water that evaporates rises right to the sun, and returns here. What
       we see is the great golden rushing thither, from the death exhalation,
       towards the sun, as a great cloud of bees flying to swarm upon the
       invisible queen, circling round, and loosing again. This is what we
       see of the sun. The center is invisible for ever.
       And of the moon the same. The moon has her back to us for ever. Not
       her face, as we like to think. The moon also pulls the water, as the
       sun does. But not in evaporation. The moon pulls by the magnetic force
       we call gravitation. Gravitation not being quite such a Newtonian
       simple apple as we are accustomed to find it, we are perhaps farther
       off from understanding the tides of the ocean than we were before the
       fruit of the tree fell to Sir Isaac's head. It is certainly not simple
       little-things tumble-towards-big-things gravitation. In the moon's
       pull there is peculiar, quite special force exerted over those
       water-born substances, phosphorus, salt, and lime. The dynamic energy
       of salt water is something quite different from that of fresh water.
       And it is this dynamic energy which the sea gives off, and which
       connects it with the moon. And the moon is some strange coagulation of
       substance such as salt, phosphorus, soda. It certainly isn't a snowy
       cold world, like a world of our own gone cold. Nonsense. It is a globe
       of dynamic substance like radium or phosphorus, coagulated upon a
       certain vivid pole of energy, which pole of energy is directly
       polarized with our earth, in opposition with the sun.
       The moon is born from the death of individuals. All things, in their
       oneing, their unification into the pure, universal oneness, evaporate
       and fly like an imitation breath towards the sun. Even the crumbling
       rocks breathe themselves off in this rocky death, to the sun of
       heaven, during the day.
       But at the same time, during the night they breathe themselves off to
       the moon. If we come to think of it, light and dark are a question
       both of the third body, the intervening body, what we will call, by
       stretching a point, the individual. As we all know, apart from the
       existence of molecules of individual matter, there is neither light
       nor dark. A universe utterly without matter, we don't know whether it
       is light or dark. Even the pure space between the sun and moon, the
       blue space, we don't know whether, in itself, it is light or dark. We
       can say it is light, we can say it is dark. But light and dark are
       terms which apply only to ourselves, the third, the intermediate, the
       substantial, the individual.
       If we come to think of it, light and dark only mean whether we have
       our face or our back towards the sun. If we have our face to the sun,
       then we establish the circuit of cosmic or universal or material or
       infinite sympathy. These four adjectives, cosmic, universal, material,
       and infinite are almost interchangeable, and apply, as we see, to that
       realm of the non-individual existence which we call the realm of the
       substantial death. It is the universe which has resulted from the
       death of individuals. And to this universe alone belongs the quality
       of infinity: to the universe of death. Living individuals have no
       infinity save in this relation to the total death-substance and
       death-being, the summed-up cosmos.
       Light and dark, these great wonders, are relative to us alone. These
       are two vast poles of the cosmic energy and of material existence.
       These are the vast poles of cosmic sympathy, which we call the sun,
       and the other white pole of cosmic volition, which we call the moon.
       To the sun belong the great forces of heat and radiant energy, to the
       moon belong the great forces of magnetism and electricity,
       radium-energy, and so on. The sun is not, in any sense, a material
       body. It is an invariable intense pole of cosmic energy, and what we
       see are the particles of our terrestrial decomposition flying thither
       and returning, as fine grains of iron would fly to an intense magnet,
       or better, as the draught in a room veers towards the fire, attracted
       infallibly, as a moth towards a candle. The moth is drawn to the
       candle as the draught is drawn to the fire, in the absolute spell of
       the material polarity of fire. And air escapes again, hot and
       different, from the fire. So is the sun.
       Fire, we say, is combustion. It is marvelous how science proceeds like
       witchcraft and alchemy, by means of an abracadabra which has no
       earthly sense. Pray, what is combustion? You can try and answer
       scientifically, till you are black in the face. All you can say is
       that it is _that which happens_ when matter is raised to a certain
       temperature--and so forth and so forth. You might as well say, a word
       is that which happens when I open my mouth and squeeze my larynx and
       make various tricks with my throat muscles. All these explanations are
       so senseless. They describe the apparatus, and think they have
       described the event.
       Fire may be accompanied by combustion, but combustion is not
       necessarily accompanied by fire. All A is B, but all B is not A. And
       therefore fire, no matter how you jiggle, is not identical with
       combustion. Fire. FIRE. I insist on the absolute word. You may say
       that fire is a sum of various phenomena. I say it isn't. You might as
       well tell me a fly is a sum of wings and six legs and two bulging
       eyes. It is the fly which has the wings and legs, and not the legs and
       wings which somehow nab the fly into the middle of themselves. A fly
       is not a sum of various things. A fly is a fly, and the items of the
       sum are still fly.
       So with fire. Fire is an absolute unity in itself. It is a dynamic
       polar principle. Establish a certain polarity between the
       moon-principle and the sun-principle, between the positive and
       negative, or sympathetic and volitional dynamism in any piece of
       matter, and you have fire, you have the sun-phenomenon. It is the
       sudden flare into the one mode, the sun mode, the material sympathetic
       mode. Correspondingly, establish an opposite polarity between the
       sun-principle and the water-principle, and you have decomposition into
       water, or towards watery dissolution.
       There are two sheer dynamic principles in our universe, the
       sun-principle and the moon-principle. And these principles are known
       to us in immediate contact as fire and water. The sun is not fire. But
       the principle of fire is the sun-principle. That is, fire is the
       sudden swoop towards the sun, of matter which is suddenly
       sun-polarized. Fire is the sudden sun-assertion, the release towards
       the one pole only. It is the sudden revelation of the cosmic One
       Polarity, One Identity.
       But there is another pole. There is the moon. And there is another
       absolute and visible principle, the principle of water. The moon is
       not water. But it is the soul of water, the invisible clue to all the
       waters.
       So that we begin to realize our visible universe as a vast dual
       polarity between sun and moon. Two vast poles in space, invisible in
       themselves, but visible owing to the circuit which swoops between
       them, round them, the circuit of the universe, established at the
       cosmic poles of the sun and moon. This then is the infinite, the
       positive infinite of the positive pole, the sun-pole, negative
       infinite of the negative pole, the moon-pole. And between the two
       infinites all existence takes place.
       But wait. Existence is truly a matter of propagation between the two
       infinites. But it needs a third presence. Sun-principle and
       moon-principle, embracing through the aeons, could never by themselves
       propagate one molecule of matter. The hailstone needs a grain of dust
       for its core. So does the universe. Midway between the two cosmic
       infinites lies the third, which is more than infinite. This is the
       Holy Ghost Life, individual life.
       It is so easy to imagine that between them, the two infinites of the
       cosmos propagated life. But one single moment of pause and silence,
       one single moment of gathering the whole soul into knowledge, will
       tell us that it is a falsity. It was the living individual soul which,
       dying, flung into space the two wings of the infinite, the two poles
       of the sun and the moon. The sun and the moon are the two eternal
       death-results of the death of individuals. Matter, all matter, is the
       Life-born. And what we know as inert matter, this is only the result
       of death in individuals, it is the dead bodies of individuals
       decomposed and resmelted between the hammer and anvil, fire and sand
       of the sun and the moon. When time began, the first individual died,
       the poles of the sun and moon were flung into space, and between the
       two, in a strange chaos and battle, the dead body was torn and melted
       and smelted, and rolled beneath the feet of the living. So the world
       was formed, always under the feet of the living.
       And so we have a clue to gravitation. We, mankind, are all one family.
       In our individual bodies burns the positive quick of all things. But
       beneath our feet, in our own earth, lies the intense center of our
       human, individual death, our grave. The earth has one center, to which
       we are all polarized. The circuit of our life is balanced on the
       living soul within us, as the positive center, and on the earth's dark
       center, the center of our abiding and eternal and substantial death,
       our great negative center, away below. This is the circuit of our
       immediate individual existence. We stand upon our own grave, with our
       death fire, the sun, on our right hand, and our death-damp, the moon,
       on our left.
       The earth's center is no accident. It is the great individual pole of
       us who die. It is the center of the first dead body. It is the first
       germ-cell of death, which germ-cell threw out the great nuclei of the
       sun and the moon. To this center of our earth we, as humans, are
       eternally polarized, as are our trees. Inevitably, we fall to earth.
       And the clue of us sinks to the earth's center, the clue of our death,
       of our _weight_. And the earth flings us out as wings to the sun and
       moon: or as the death-germ dividing into two nuclei. So from the earth
       our radiance is flung to the sun, our marsh-fire to the moon, when we
       die.
       We fall into the earth. But our rising was not from the earth. We rose
       from the earthless quick, the unfading life. And earth, sun, and moon
       are born only of our death. But it is only their polarized dynamic
       connection with us who live which sustains them all in their place
       and maintains them all in their own activities. The inanimate
       universe rests absolutely on the life-circuit of living creatures, is
       built upon the arch which spans the duality of living beings. _