_ CHAPTER LXVI. MENTOR AND TELEMACHUS
Drawing his chair near to Abel's, General Belch lighted a cigar, and said:
"You see it's not so very hard."
Abel looked inquiringly.
"To go to Congress," answered Belch.
"Yes, but I'm not elected yet, thank you."
General Arcularius Belch blew a long, slow cloud, and gazed at his companion with a kind of fond superiority.
"What do you mean by looking so?" asked Abel.
"My dear Newt, I was not aware that you had such a soft spot. No, positively, I did not know that you had so much to learn. It is inconceivable."
The General smiled, and smoked, and looked blandly at his companion.
"You're not elected yet, hey?" asked the General, with an amused laugh.
"Not that I am aware of," said Abel.
"Why, my dear fellow, who on earth do you suppose does the electing?"
"I thought the people were the source of power," replied Abel, gravely.
The General looked for a moment doubtfully at his companion.
"Hallo! I see you're gumming. However, there's one thing. You know you'll have to speak after the election. Did you ever speak?"
"Not since school," replied Abel.
"Well, you know the cue. I gave it to you to-night. The next thing is, how strong can you come down?"
"You know I've failed."
"Of course you have. That's the reason the boys will expect you to be very liberal."
"How much?" inquired Abel.
"Let me see. There'll be the printing, halls, lights, ballots, advertisements--Well, I should say a thousand dollars, and a thousand more for extras. Say two thousand for the election, and a thousand for the committee."
"Devil! that's rather strong!" replied Abel.
"Not at all," said General Belch. "Your going to Washington secures the grant, and the grant nets you at least three thousand dollars upon every share. It's a good thing, and very liberal at that price. By-the-by, don't forget that you're a party man of another sort. You do the dancing business, and flirting--"
"Pish!" cried Abel; "milk for babes!"
"Exactly. And you're going to a place that swarms with babes. So give 'em milk. Work the men through their wives, and mistresses, and daughters. It isn't much understood yet; but it is a great idea."
"Why don't you go to Congress?" asked Abel, suddenly.
"It isn't for my interest," answered the General. "I make more by staying out."
"How many members are there for Belch?" continued Abel.
The General did not quite like the question, nor the tone in which it was asked. His fat nose glistened for a moment, while his mouth twisted into a smile, and he answered,
"They're only for Belch as far as Belch is for them--"
"Or as far as Belch makes them think he is," answered Abel, smiling.
The General smiled too, for he found the game going against him.
"We were speaking of your speech," said he. "Now, Newt, the thing's in your own hands. You've a future before you. With the drill of the party, and with your talents, you ought to do any thing."
"Too many rivals," said Abel, curtly.
"My dear fellow, what are the odds? They can't do any thing outside the party, or without the drill. Make it their interest not to be ambitious, and they're quiet enough. Here's William Condor--lovely, lovely William. He loves the people so dearly that he does nothing for them at twenty thousand dollars a year. Tell him that you will secure him his place, and he's your humble servant. Of course he is. Now I am more familiar with the details of these things, and I'm always at your service. Before you go, there will be a caucus of the friends of the grant, which you must attend, and make a speech."
"Another speech?" said Abel.
"My dear fellow, you are now a speech-maker by profession. Now that you are in Congress, you will never be free from the oratorical liability. Wherever two or three are gathered together, and you are one of them, you'll have to return thanks, and wave the glorious flag of our country. And you'll have to begin very soon." _