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Memories and Portraits
CHAPTER XII - THE CHARACTER OF DOGS
Robert Louis Stevenson
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       _ THE civilisation, the manners, and the morals of dog-kind are to a
       great extent subordinated to those of his ancestral master, man.
       This animal, in many ways so superior, has accepted a position of
       inferiority, shares the domestic life, and humours the caprices of
       the tyrant. But the potentate, like the British in India, pays
       small regard to the character of his willing client, judges him
       with listless glances, and condemns him in a byword. Listless have
       been the looks of his admirers, who have exhausted idle terms of
       praise, and buried the poor soul below exaggerations. And yet more
       idle and, if possible, more unintelligent has been the attitude of
       his express detractors; those who are very fond of dogs "but in
       their proper place"; who say "poo' fellow, poo' fellow," and are
       themselves far poorer; who whet the knife of the vivisectionist or
       heat his oven; who are not ashamed to admire "the creature's
       instinct"; and flying far beyond folly, have dared to resuscitate
       the theory of animal machines. The "dog's instinct" and the
       "automaton-dog," in this age of psychology and science, sound like
       strange anachronisms. An automaton he certainly is; a machine
       working independently of his control, the heart, like the mill-
       wheel, keeping all in motion, and the consciousness, like a person
       shut in the mill garret, enjoying the view out of the window and
       shaken by the thunder of the stones; an automaton in one corner of
       which a living spirit is confined: an automaton like man. Instinct
       again he certainly possesses. Inherited aptitudes are his,
       inherited frailties. Some things he at once views and understands,
       as though he were awakened from a sleep, as though he came
       "trailing clouds of glory." But with him, as with man, the field
       of instinct is limited; its utterances are obscure and occasional;
       and about the far larger part of life both the dog and his master
       must conduct their steps by deduction and observation.
       The leading distinction between dog and man, after and perhaps
       before the different duration of their lives, is that the one can
       speak and that the other cannot. The absence of the power of
       speech confines the dog in the development of his intellect. It
       hinders him from many speculations, for words are the beginning of
       meta-physic. At the same blow it saves him from many
       superstitions, and his silence has won for him a higher name for
       virtue than his conduct justifies. The faults of the dog are many.
       He is vainer than man, singularly greedy of notice, singularly
       intolerant of ridicule, suspicious like the deaf, jealous to the
       degree of frenzy, and radically devoid of truth. The day of an
       intelligent small dog is passed in the manufacture and the
       laborious communication of falsehood; he lies with his tail, he
       lies with his eye, he lies with his protesting paw; and when he
       rattles his dish or scratches at the door his purpose is other than
       appears. But he has some apology to offer for the vice. Many of
       the signs which form his dialect have come to bear an arbitrary
       meaning, clearly understood both by his master and himself; yet
       when a new want arises he must either invent a new vehicle of
       meaning or wrest an old one to a different purpose; and this
       necessity frequently recurring must tend to lessen his idea of the
       sanctity of symbols. Meanwhile the dog is clear in his own
       conscience, and draws, with a human nicety, the distinction between
       formal and essential truth. Of his punning perversions, his
       legitimate dexterity with symbols, he is even vain; but when he has
       told and been detected in a lie, there is not a hair upon his body
       but confesses guilt. To a dog of gentlemanly feeling theft and
       falsehood are disgraceful vices. The canine, like the human,
       gentleman demands in his misdemeanours Montaigne's "JE NE SAIS QUOI
       DE GENEREUX." He is never more than half ashamed of having barked
       or bitten; and for those faults into which he has been led by the
       desire to shine before a lady of his race, he retains, even under
       physical correction, a share of pride. But to be caught lying, if
       he understands it, instantly uncurls his fleece.
       Just as among dull observers he preserves a name for truth, the dog
       has been credited with modesty. It is amazing how the use of
       language blunts the faculties of man - that because vain glory
       finds no vent in words, creatures supplied with eyes have been
       unable to detect a fault so gross and obvious. If a small spoiled
       dog were suddenly to be endowed with speech, he would prate
       interminably, and still about himself; when we had friends, we
       should be forced to lock him in a garret; and what with his whining
       jealousies and his foible for falsehood, in a year's time he would
       have gone far to weary out our love. I was about to compare him to
       Sir Willoughby Patterne, but the Patternes have a manlier sense of
       their own merits; and the parallel, besides, is ready. Hans
       Christian Andersen, as we behold him in his startling memoirs,
       thrilling from top to toe with an excruciating vanity, and scouting
       even along the street for shadows of offence - here was the talking
       dog.
       It is just this rage for consideration that has betrayed the dog
       into his satellite position as the friend of man. The cat, an
       animal of franker appetites, preserves his independence. But the
       dog, with one eye ever on the audience, has been wheedled into
       slavery, and praised and patted into the renunciation of his
       nature. Once he ceased hunting and became man's plate-licker, the
       Rubicon was crossed. Thenceforth he was a gentleman of leisure;
       and except the few whom we keep working, the whole race grew more
       and more self-conscious, mannered and affected. The number of
       things that a small dog does naturally is strangely small.
       Enjoying better spirits and not crushed under material cares, he is
       far more theatrical than average man. His whole life, if he be a
       dog of any pretension to gallantry, is spent in a vain show, and in
       the hot pursuit of admiration. Take out your puppy for a walk, and
       you will find the little ball of fur clumsy, stupid, bewildered,
       but natural. Let but a few months pass, and when you repeat the
       process you will find nature buried in convention. He will do
       nothing plainly; but the simplest processes of our material life
       will all be bent into the forms of an elaborate and mysterious
       etiquette. Instinct, says the fool, has awakened. But it is not
       so. Some dogs - some, at the very least - if they be kept separate
       from others, remain quite natural; and these, when at length they
       meet with a companion of experience, and have the game explained to
       them, distinguish themselves by the severity of their devotion to
       its rules. I wish I were allowed to tell a story which would
       radiantly illuminate the point; but men, like dogs, have an
       elaborate and mysterious etiquette. It is their bond of sympathy
       that both are the children of convention.
       The person, man or dog, who has a conscience is eternally condemned
       to some degree of humbug; the sense of the law in their members
       fatally precipitates either towards a frozen and affected bearing.
       And the converse is true; and in the elaborate and conscious
       manners of the dog, moral opinions and the love of the ideal stand
       confessed. To follow for ten minutes in the street some
       swaggering, canine cavalier, is to receive a lesson in dramatic art
       and the cultured conduct of the body; in every act and gesture you
       see him true to a refined conception; and the dullest cur,
       beholding him, pricks up his ear and proceeds to imitate and parody
       that charming ease. For to be a high-mannered and high-minded
       gentleman, careless, affable, and gay, is the inborn pretension of
       the dog. The large dog, so much lazier, so much more weighed upon
       with matter, so majestic in repose, so beautiful in effort, is born
       with the dramatic means to wholly represent the part. And it is
       more pathetic and perhaps more instructive to consider the small
       dog in his conscientious and imperfect efforts to outdo Sir Philip
       Sidney. For the ideal of the dog is feudal and religious; the
       ever-present polytheism, the whip-bearing Olympus of mankind, rules
       them on the one hand; on the other, their singular difference of
       size and strength among themselves effectually prevents the
       appearance of the democratic notion. Or we might more exactly
       compare their society to the curious spectacle presented by a
       school - ushers, monitors, and big and little boys - qualified by
       one circumstance, the introduction of the other sex. In each, we
       should observe a somewhat similar tension of manner, and somewhat
       similar points of honour. In each the larger animal keeps a
       contemptuous good humour; in each the smaller annoys him with wasp-
       like impudence, certain of practical immunity; in each we shall
       find a double life producing double characters, and an excursive
       and noisy heroism combined with a fair amount of practical
       timidity. I have known dogs, and I have known school heroes that,
       set aside the fur, could hardly have been told apart; and if we
       desire to understand the chivalry of old, we must turn to the
       school playfields or the dungheap where the dogs are trooping.
       Woman, with the dog, has been long enfranchised. Incessant
       massacre of female innocents has changed the proportions of the
       sexes and perverted their relations. Thus, when we regard the
       manners of the dog, we see a romantic and monogamous animal, once
       perhaps as delicate as the cat, at war with impossible conditions.
       Man has much to answer for; and the part he plays is yet more
       damnable and parlous than Corin's in the eyes of Touchstone. But
       his intervention has at least created an imperial situation for the
       rare surviving ladies. In that society they reign without a rival:
       conscious queens; and in the only instance of a canine wife-beater
       that has ever fallen under my notice, the criminal was somewhat
       excused by the circumstances of his story. He is a little, very
       alert, well-bred, intelligent Skye, as black as a hat, with a wet
       bramble for a nose and two cairngorms for eyes. To the human
       observer, he is decidedly well-looking; but to the ladies of his
       race he seems abhorrent. A thorough elaborate gentleman, of the
       plume and sword-knot order, he was born with a nice sense of
       gallantry to women. He took at their hands the most outrageous
       treatment; I have heard him bleating like a sheep, I have seen him
       streaming blood, and his ear tattered like a regimental banner; and
       yet he would scorn to make reprisals. Nay more, when a human lady
       upraised the contumelious whip against the very dame who had been
       so cruelly misusing him, my little great-heart gave but one hoarse
       cry and fell upon the tyrant tooth and nail. This is the tale of a
       soul's tragedy. After three years of unavailing chivalry, he
       suddenly, in one hour, threw off the yoke of obligation; had he
       been Shakespeare he would then have written TROILUS AND CRESSIDA to
       brand the offending sex; but being only a little dog, he began to
       bite them. The surprise of the ladies whom he attacked indicated
       the monstrosity of his offence; but he had fairly beaten off his
       better angel, fairly committed moral suicide; for almost in the
       same hour, throwing aside the last rags of decency, he proceeded to
       attack the aged also. The fact is worth remark, showing, as it
       does, that ethical laws are common both to dogs and men; and that
       with both a single deliberate violation of the conscience loosens
       all. "But while the lamp holds on to burn," says the paraphrase,
       "the greatest sinner may return." I have been cheered to see
       symptoms of effectual penitence in my sweet ruffian; and by the
       handling that he accepted uncomplainingly the other day from an
       indignant fair one, I begin to hope the period of STURM UND DRANG
       is closed.
       All these little gentlemen are subtle casuists. The duty to the
       female dog is plain; but where competing duties rise, down they
       will sit and study them out, like Jesuit confessors. I knew
       another little Skye, somewhat plain in manner and appearance, but a
       creature compact of amiability and solid wisdom. His family going
       abroad for a winter, he was received for that period by an uncle in
       the same city. The winter over, his own family home again, and his
       own house (of which he was very proud) reopened, he found himself
       in a dilemma between two conflicting duties of loyalty and
       gratitude. His old friends were not to be neglected, but it seemed
       hardly decent to desert the new. This was how he solved the
       problem. Every morning, as soon as the door was opened, of posted
       Coolin to his uncle's, visited the children in the nursery, saluted
       the whole family, and was back at home in time for breakfast and
       his bit of fish. Nor was this done without a sacrifice on his
       part, sharply felt; for he had to forego the particular honour and
       jewel of his day - his morning's walk with my father. And, perhaps
       from this cause, he gradually wearied of and relaxed the practice,
       and at length returned entirely to his ancient habits. But the
       same decision served him in another and more distressing case of
       divided duty, which happened not long after. He was not at all a
       kitchen dog, but the cook had nursed him with unusual kindness
       during the distemper; and though he did not adore her as he adored
       my father - although (born snob) he was critically conscious of her
       position as "only a servant" - he still cherished for her a special
       gratitude. Well, the cook left, and retired some streets away to
       lodgings of her own; and there was Coolin in precisely the same
       situation with any young gentleman who has had the inestimable
       benefit of a faithful nurse. The canine conscience did not solve
       the problem with a pound of tea at Christmas. No longer content to
       pay a flying visit, it was the whole forenoon that he dedicated to
       his solitary friend. And so, day by day, he continued to comfort
       her solitude until (for some reason which I could never understand
       and cannot approve) he was kept locked up to break him of the
       graceful habit. Here, it is not the similarity, it is the
       difference, that is worthy of remark; the clearly marked degrees of
       gratitude and the proportional duration of his visits. Anything
       further removed from instinct it were hard to fancy; and one is
       even stirred to a certain impatience with a character so destitute
       of spontaneity, so passionless in justice, and so priggishly
       obedient to the voice of reason.
       There are not many dogs like this good Coolin, and not many people.
       But the type is one well marked, both in the human and the canine
       family. Gallantry was not his aim, but a solid and somewhat
       oppressive respectability. He was a sworn foe to the unusual and
       the conspicuous, a praiser of the golden mean, a kind of city uncle
       modified by Cheeryble. And as he was precise and conscientious in
       all the steps of his own blameless course, he looked for the same
       precision and an even greater gravity in the bearing of his deity,
       my father. It was no sinecure to be Coolin's idol: he was exacting
       like a rigid parent; and at every sign of levity in the man whom he
       respected, he announced loudly the death of virtue and the
       proximate fall of the pillars of the earth.
       I have called him a snob; but all dogs are so, though in varying
       degrees. It is hard to follow their snobbery among themselves; for
       though I think we can perceive distinctions of rank, we cannot
       grasp what is the criterion. Thus in Edinburgh, in a good part of
       the town, there were several distinct societies or clubs that met
       in the morning to - the phrase is technical - to "rake the backets"
       in a troop. A friend of mine, the master of three dogs, was one
       day surprised to observe that they had left one club and joined
       another; but whether it was a rise or a fall, and the result of an
       invitation or an expulsion, was more than he could guess. And this
       illustrates pointedly our ignorance of the real life of dogs, their
       social ambitions and their social hierarchies. At least, in their
       dealings with men they are not only conscious of sex, but of the
       difference of station. And that in the most snobbish manner; for
       the poor man's dog is not offended by the notice of the rich, and
       keeps all his ugly feeling for those poorer or more ragged than his
       master. And again, for every station they have an ideal of
       behaviour, to which the master, under pain of derogation, will do
       wisely to conform. How often has not a cold glance of an eye
       informed me that my dog was disappointed; and how much more gladly
       would he not have taken a beating than to be thus wounded in the
       seat of piety!
       I knew one disrespectable dog. He was far liker a cat; cared
       little or nothing for men, with whom he merely coexisted as we do
       with cattle, and was entirely devoted to the art of poaching. A
       house would not hold him, and to live in a town was what he
       refused.
       He led, I believe, a life of troubled but genuine pleasure, and
       perished beyond all question in a trap. But this was an exception,
       a marked reversion to the ancestral type; like the hairy human
       infant. The true dog of the nineteenth century, to judge by the
       remainder of my fairly large acquaintance, is in love with
       respectability. A street-dog was once adopted by a lady. While
       still an Arab, he had done as Arabs do, gambolling in the mud,
       charging into butchers' stalls, a cat-hunter, a sturdy beggar, a
       common rogue and vagabond; but with his rise into society he laid
       aside these inconsistent pleasures. He stole no more, he hunted no
       more cats; and conscious of his collar, he ignored his old
       companions. Yet the canine upper class was never brought to
       recognise the upstart, and from that hour, except for human
       countenance, he was alone. Friendless, shorn of his sports and the
       habits of a lifetime, he still lived in a glory of happiness,
       content with his acquired respectability, and with no care but to
       support it solemnly. Are we to condemn or praise this self-made
       dog? We praise his human brother. And thus to conquer vicious
       habits is as rare with dogs as with men. With the more part, for
       all their scruple-mongering and moral thought, the vices that are
       born with them remain invincible throughout; and they live all
       their years, glorying in their virtues, but still the slaves of
       their defects. Thus the sage Coolin was a thief to the last; among
       a thousand peccadilloes, a whole goose and a whole cold leg of
       mutton lay upon his conscience; but Woggs, (7) whose soul's
       shipwreck in the matter of gallantry I have recounted above, has
       only twice been known to steal, and has often nobly conquered the
       temptation. The eighth is his favourite commandment. There is
       something painfully human in these unequal virtues and mortal
       frailties of the best. Still more painful is the bearing of those
       "stammering professors" in the house of sickness and under the
       terror of death. It is beyond a doubt to me that, somehow or
       other, the dog connects together, or confounds, the uneasiness of
       sickness and the consciousness of guilt. To the pains of the body
       he often adds the tortures of the conscience; and at these times
       his haggard protestations form, in regard to the human deathbed, a
       dreadful parody or parallel.
       I once supposed that I had found an inverse relation between the
       double etiquette which dogs obey; and that those who were most
       addicted to the showy street life among other dogs were less
       careful in the practice of home virtues for the tyrant man. But
       the female dog, that mass of carneying affectations, shines equally
       in either sphere; rules her rough posse of attendant swains with
       unwearying tact and gusto; and with her master and mistress pushes
       the arts of insinuation to their crowning point. The attention of
       man and the regard of other dogs flatter (it would thus appear) the
       same sensibility; but perhaps, if we could read the canine heart,
       they would be found to flatter it in very different degrees. Dogs
       live with man as courtiers round a monarch, steeped in the flattery
       of his notice and enriched with sinecures. To push their favour in
       this world of pickings and caresses is, perhaps, the business of
       their lives; and their joys may lie outside. I am in despair at
       our persistent ignorance. I read in the lives of our companions
       the same processes of reason, the same antique and fatal conflicts
       of the right against the wrong, and of unbitted nature with too
       rigid custom; I see them with our weaknesses, vain, false,
       inconstant against appetite, and with our one stalk of virtue,
       devoted to the dream of an ideal; and yet, as they hurry by me on
       the street with tail in air, or come singly to solicit my regard, I
       must own the secret purport of their lives is still inscrutable to
       man. Is man the friend, or is he the patron only? Have they
       indeed forgotten nature's voice? or are those moments snatched from
       courtiership when they touch noses with the tinker's mongrel, the
       brief reward and pleasure of their artificial lives? Doubtless,
       when man shares with his dog the toils of a profession and the
       pleasures of an art, as with the shepherd or the poacher, the
       affection warms and strengthens till it fills the soul. But
       doubtless, also, the masters are, in many cases, the object of a
       merely interested cultus, sitting aloft like Louis Quatorze, giving
       and receiving flattery and favour; and the dogs, like the majority
       of men, have but foregone their true existence and become the dupes
       of their ambition. _