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Head of Kay’s
CHAPTER I - MAINLY ABOUT FENN
P G Wodehouse
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       CHAPTER I - MAINLY ABOUT FENN
       "When we get licked tomorrow by half-a-dozen wickets," said Jimmy
       Silver, lilting his chair until the back touched the wall, "don't say
       I didn't warn you. If you fellows take down what I say from time to
       time in note-books, as you ought to do, you'll remember that I offered
       to give anyone odds that Kay's would out us in the final. I always
       said that a really hot man like Fenn was more good to a side than
       half-a-dozen ordinary men. He can do all the bowling and all the
       batting. All the fielding, too, in the slips."
       Tea was just over at Blackburn's, and the bulk of the house had gone
       across to preparation in the school buildings. The prefects, as was
       their custom, lingered on to finish the meal at their leisure. These
       after-tea conversations were quite an institution at Blackburn's. The
       labours of the day were over, and the time for preparation for the
       morrow had not yet come. It would be time to be thinking of that in
       another hour. Meanwhile, a little relaxation might be enjoyed.
       Especially so as this was the last day but two of the summer term, and
       all necessity for working after tea had ceased with the arrival of the
       last lap of the examinations.
       Silver was head of the house, and captain of its cricket team, which
       was nearing the end of its last match, the final for the inter-house
       cup, and--on paper--getting decidedly the worst of it. After riding in
       triumph over the School House, Bedell's, and Mulholland's, Blackburn's
       had met its next door neighbour, Kay's, in the final, and, to the
       surprise of the great majority of the school, was showing up badly.
       The match was affording one more example of how a team of average
       merit all through may sometimes fall before a one-man side.
       Blackburn's had the three last men on the list of the first eleven,
       Silver, Kennedy, and Challis, and at least nine of its representatives
       had the reputation of being able to knock up a useful twenty or thirty
       at any time. Kay's, on the other hand, had one man, Fenn. After him
       the tail started. But Fenn was such an exceptional all-round man that,
       as Silver had said, he was as good as half-a-dozen of the Blackburn's
       team, equally formidable whether batting or bowling--he headed the
       school averages at both. He was one of those batsmen who seem to know
       exactly what sort of ball you are going to bowl before it leaves your
       hand, and he could hit like another Jessop. As for his bowling, he
       bowled left hand--always a puzzling eccentricity to an undeveloped
       batsman--and could send them down very fast or very slow, as he
       thought best, and it was hard to see which particular brand he was
       going to serve up before it was actually in mid-air.
       But it is not necessary to enlarge on his abilities. The figures
       against his name in _Wisden_ prove a good deal. The fact that he
       had steered Kay's through into the last round of the house-matches
       proves still more. It was perfectly obvious to everyone that, if only
       you could get Fenn out for under ten, Kay's total for that innings
       would be nearer twenty than forty. They were an appalling side. But
       then no house bowler had as yet succeeded in getting Fenn out for
       under ten. In the six innings he had played in the competition up to
       date, he had made four centuries, an eighty, and a seventy.
       Kennedy, the second prefect at Blackburn's, paused in the act of
       grappling with the remnant of a pot of jam belonging to some person
       unknown, to reply to Silver's remarks.
       "We aren't beaten yet," he said, in his solid way. Kennedy's chief
       characteristics were solidity, and an infinite capacity for taking
       pains. Nothing seemed to tire or discourage him. He kept pegging away
       till he arrived. The ordinary person, for instance, would have
       considered the jam-pot, on which he was then engaged, an empty
       jam-pot. Kennedy saw that there was still a strawberry (or it may have
       been a section of a strawberry) at the extreme end, and he meant to
       have that coy vegetable if he had to squeeze the pot to get at it. To
       take another instance, all the afternoon of the previous day he had
       bowled patiently at Fenn while the latter lifted every other ball into
       space. He had been taken off three times, and at every fresh attack he
       had plodded on doggedly, until at last, as he had expected, the
       batsman had misjudged a straight one, and he had bowled him all over
       his wicket. Kennedy generally managed to get there sooner or later.
       "It's no good chucking the game up simply because we're in a tight
       place," he said, bringing the spoon to the surface at last with the
       section of strawberry adhering to the end of it. "That sort of thing's
       awfully feeble."
       "He calls me feeble!" shouted Jimmy Silver. "By James, I've put a man
       to sleep for less."
       It was one of his amusements to express himself from time to time in a
       melodramatic fashion, sometimes accompanying his words with suitable
       gestures. It was on one of these occasions--when he had assumed at a
       moment's notice the _role_ of the "Baffled Despot", in an
       argument with Kennedy in his study on the subject of the house
       football team--that he broke what Mr Blackburn considered a valuable
       door with a poker. Since then he had moderated his transports.
       "They've got to make seventy-nine," said Kennedy.
       Challis, the other first eleven man, was reading a green scoring-book.
       "I don't think Kay's ought to have the face to stick the cup up in
       their dining-room," he said, "considering the little they've done to
       win it. If they _do_ win it, that is. Still, as they made two
       hundred first innings, they ought to be able to knock off
       seventy-nine. But I was saying that the pot ought to go to Fenn. Lot
       the rest of the team had to do with it. Blackburn's, first innings,
       hundred and fifty-one; Fenn, eight for forty-nine. Kay's, two hundred
       and one; Fenn, a hundred and sixty-four not out. Second innings,
       Blackburn's hundred and twenty-eight; Fenn ten for eighty. Bit thick,
       isn't it? I suppose that's what you'd call a one-man team."
       Williams, one of the other prefects, who had just sat down at the
       piano for the purpose of playing his one tune--a cake-walk, of which,
       through constant practice, he had mastered the rudiments--spoke over
       his shoulder to Silver.
       "I tell you what, Jimmy," he said, "you've probably lost us the pot by
       getting your people to send brother Billy to Kay's. If he hadn't kept
       up his wicket yesterday, Fenn wouldn't have made half as many."
       When his young brother had been sent to Eckleton two terms before,
       Jimmy Silver had strongly urged upon his father the necessity of
       placing him in some house other than Blackburn's. He felt that a head
       of a house, even of so orderly and perfect a house as Blackburn's, has
       enough worries without being saddled with a small brother. And on the
       previous afternoon young Billy Silver, going in eighth wicket for
       Kay's, had put a solid bat in front of everything for the space of one
       hour, in the course of which he made ten runs and Fenn sixty. By
       scoring odd numbers off the last ball of each over, Fenn had managed
       to secure the majority of the bowling in the most masterly way.
       "These things will happen," said Silver, resignedly. "We Silvers, you
       know, can't help making runs. Come on, Williams, let's have that tune,
       and get it over."
       Williams obliged. It was a classic piece called "The Coon Band
       Contest", remarkable partly for a taking melody, partly for the vast
       possibilities of noise which it afforded. Williams made up for his
       failure to do justice to the former by a keen appreciation of the
       latter. He played the piece through again, in order to correct the
       mistakes he had made at his first rendering of it. Then he played it
       for the third time to correct a new batch of errors.
       "I should like to hear Fenn play that," said Challis. "You're awfully
       good, you know, Williams, but he might do it better still."
       "Get him to play it as an encore at the concert," said Williams,
       starting for the fourth time.
       The talented Fenn was also a musician,--not a genius at the piano, as
       he was at cricket, but a sufficiently sound performer for his age,
       considering that he had not made a special study of it. He was to play
       at the school concert on the following day.
       "I believe Fenn has an awful time at Kay's," said Jimmy Silver. "It
       must be a fair sort of hole, judging from the specimens you see
       crawling about in Kay caps. I wish I'd known my people were sending
       young Billy there. I'd have warned them. I only told them not to sling
       him in here. I had no idea they'd have picked Kay's."
       "Fenn was telling me the other day," said Kennedy, "that being in
       Kay's had spoiled his whole time at the school. He always wanted to
       come to Blackburn's, only there wasn't room that particular term. Bad
       luck, wasn't it? I don't think he found it so bad before he became
       head of the house. He didn't come into contact with Kay so much. But
       now he finds that he can't do a thing without Kay buzzing round and
       interfering."
       "I wonder," said Jimmy Silver, thoughtfully, "if that's why he bowls
       so fast. To work it off, you know."
       In the course of a beautiful innings of fifty-three that afternoon,
       the captain of Blackburn's had received two of Fenn's speediest on the
       same spot just above the pad in rapid succession, and he now hobbled
       painfully when he moved about.
       The conversation that evening had dealt so largely with Fenn--the
       whole school, indeed, was talking of nothing but his great attempt to
       win the cricket cup single-handed--that Kennedy, going out into the
       road for a breather before the rest of the boarders returned from
       preparation, made his way to Kay's to see if Fenn was imitating his
       example, and taking the air too.
       He found him at Kay's gate, and they strolled towards the school
       buildings together. Fenn was unusually silent.
       "Well?" said Kennedy, after a minute had passed without a remark.
       "Well, what?"
       "What's up?"
       Fenn laughed what novelists are fond of calling a mirthless laugh.
       "Oh, I don't know," he said; "I'm sick of this place."
       Kennedy inspected his friend's face anxiously by the light of the lamp
       over the school gate. There was no mistake about it. Fenn certainly
       did look bad. His face always looked lean and craggy, but tonight
       there was a difference. He looked used up.
       "Fagged?" asked Kennedy.
       "No. Sick."
       "What about?"
       "Everything. I wish you could come into Kay's for a bit just to see
       what it's like. Then you'd understand. At present I don't suppose
       you've an idea of it. I'd like to write a book on 'Kay Day by Day'.
       I'd have plenty to put in it."
       "What's he been doing?"
       "Oh, nothing out of the ordinary run. It's the fact that he's always
       at it that does me. You get a houseful of--well, you know the sort of
       chap the average Kayite is. They'd keep me busy even if I were allowed
       a free hand. But I'm not. Whenever I try and keep order and stop
       things a bit, out springs the man Kay from nowhere, and takes the job
       out of my hands, makes a ghastly mess of everything, and retires
       purring. Once in every three times, or thereabouts, he slangs me in
       front of the kids for not keeping order. I'm glad this is the end of
       the term. I couldn't stand it much longer. Hullo, here come the chaps
       from prep. We'd better be getting back."
       Content of CHAPTER I - MAINLY ABOUT FENN [P G Wodehouse's novel: Head of Kay's]
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