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Great War Syndicate, The
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Frank R Stockton
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       _ In three days a convention of peace was concluded
       between Great Britain and the American Syndicate acting
       for the United States, its provisions being made
       subject to such future treaties and alliances as the
       governments of the two nations might make with each
       other. In six days after the affair at Caerdaff, a
       committee of the American War Syndicate was in London,
       making arrangements, under the favourable auspices of
       the British Government, for the formation of an
       Anglo-American Syndicate of War.
       The Atlantic Ocean now sprang into new life. It
       seemed impossible to imagine whence had come the
       multitude of vessels which now steamed and sailed upon
       its surface. Among these, going westward, were six
       crabs, and the spring-armoured vessel, once the
       Tallapoosa, going home to a triumphant reception,
       such as had never before been accorded to any vessel,
       whether of war or peace.
       The blockade of the Canadian port, which had been
       effectively maintained without incident, was now
       raised, and the Syndicate's vessels proceeded to an
       American port.
       The British ironclad, Adamant, at the conclusion
       of peace was still in tow of Crab C, and off the coast
       of Florida. A vessel was sent down the coast by the
       Syndicate to notify Crab C of what had occurred, and to
       order it to tow the Adamant to the Bermudas, and
       there deliver her to the British authorities. The
       vessel sent by the Syndicate, which was a fast coast-
       steamer, had scarcely hove in sight of the objects of
       her search when she was saluted by a ten-inch shell
       from the Adamant, followed almost immediately by
       two others. The commander of the Adamant had no idea
       that the war was at an end, and had never failed,
       during his involuntary cruise, to fire at anything
       which bore the American flag, or looked like an
       American craft.
       Fortunately the coast steamer was not struck, and
       at the top of her speed retired to a greater distance,
       whence the Syndicate officer on board communicated with
       the crab by smoke signals.
       During the time in which Crab C had had charge of
       the Adamant no communication had taken place between
       the two vessels. Whenever an air-pipe had been
       elevated for the purpose of using therein a speaking-
       tube, a volley from a machine-gun on the Adamant was
       poured upon it, and after several pipes had been shot
       away the director of the crab ceased his efforts to
       confer with those on the ironclad. It had been
       necessary to place the outlets of the ventilating
       apparatus of the crab under the forward ends of some of
       the upper roof-plates.
       When Crab C had received her orders, she put about
       the prow of the great warship, and proceeded to tow her
       north-eastward, the commander of the Adamant
       taking a parting crack with his heaviest stern-gun at
       the vessel which had brought the order for his release.
       All the way from the American coast to the Bermuda
       Islands, the great Adamant blazed, thundered, and
       roared, not only because her commander saw, or fancied
       he saw, an American vessel, but to notify all crabs,
       repellers, and any other vile invention of the enemy
       that may have been recently put forth to blemish the
       sacred surface of the sea, that the Adamant still
       floated, with the heaviest coat of mail and the finest
       and most complete armament in the world, ready to sink
       anything hostile which came near enough--but not too near.
       When the commander found that he was bound for the
       Bermudas, he did not understand it, unless, indeed,
       those islands had been captured by the enemy. But he
       did not stop firing. Indeed, should he find the
       Bermudas under the American flag, he would fire at that
       flag and whatever carried it, as long as a shot or a
       shell or a charge of powder remained to him.
       But when he reached British waters, and slowly
       entering St. George's harbour, saw around him the
       British flag floating as proudly as it floated above
       his own great ship, he confessed himself utterly
       bewildered; but he ordered the men at every gun to
       stand by their piece until he was boarded by a boat
       from the fort, and informed of the true state of affairs.
       But even then, when weary Crab C raised herself
       from her fighting depth, and steamed to a dock, the
       commander of the Adamant could scarcely refrain from
       sending a couple of tons of iron into the beastly sea-
       devil which had had the impertinence to tow him about
       against his will.
       No time was lost by the respective Governments of
       Great Britain and the United States in ratifying the
       peace made through the Syndicate, and in concluding a
       military and naval alliance, the basis of which should
       be the use by these two nations, and by no other
       nations, of the instantaneous motor. The treaty was
       made and adopted with much more despatch than generally
       accompanies such agreements between nations, for both
       Governments felt the importance of placing themselves,
       without delay, in that position from which, by means of
       their united control of paramount methods of
       warfare, they might become the arbiters of peace.
       The desire to evolve that power which should render
       opposition useless had long led men from one warlike
       invention to another. Every one who had constructed a
       new kind of gun, a new kind of armour, or a new
       explosive, thought that he had solved the problem, or
       was on his way to do so. The inventor of the
       instantaneous motor had done it.
       The treaty provided that all subjects concerning
       hostilities between either or both of the contracting
       powers and other nations should be referred to a Joint
       High Commission, appointed by the two powers; and if
       war should be considered necessary, it should be
       prosecuted and conducted by the Anglo-American War
       Syndicate, within limitations prescribed by the High
       Commission.
       The contract made with the new Syndicate was of the
       most stringent order, and contained every provision
       that ingenuity or foresight of man could invent or
       suggest to make it impossible for the Syndicate to
       transfer to any other nation the use of the
       instantaneous motor.
       Throughout all classes in sympathy with the
       Administrative parties of Great Britain and the United
       States there was a feeling of jubilant elation on
       account of the alliance and the adoption by the two
       nations of the means of prohibitive warfare. This
       public sentiment acted even upon the opposition; and
       the majority of army and navy officers in the two
       countries felt bound to admit that the arts of war in
       which they had been educated were things of the past.
       Of course there were members of the army and navy in
       both countries who deprecated the new state of things.
       But there were also men, still living, who deprecated
       the abolition of the old wooden seventy-four gun ship.
       A British artillery officer conversing with a
       member of the American Syndicate at a London club, said
       to him:--
       "Do you know that you made a great mistake in the
       beginning of your operations with the motor-guns? If
       you had contrived an attachment to the motor which
       should have made an infernal thunder-clap and a storm
       of smoke at the moment of discharge it would have saved
       you a lot of money and time and trouble. The work of
       the motor on the Canadian coast was terrible enough,
       but people could see no connection between that
       and the guns on your vessels. If you could have sooner
       shown that connection you might have saved yourselves
       the trouble of crossing the Atlantic. And, to prove
       this, one of the most satisfactory points connected
       with your work on the Welsh coast was the jet of smoke
       which came from the repeller every time she discharged
       a motor. If it had not been for those jets, I believe
       there would be people now in the opposition who would
       swear that Caerdaff had been mined, and that the
       Ministry were a party to it."
       "Your point is well taken," said the American, "and
       should it ever be necessary to discharge any more
       bombs,--which I hope it may not be,--we shall take care
       to show a visible and audible connection between cause
       and effect."
       "The devil take it, sir!" cried an old captain of
       an English ship-of-the-line, who was sitting near by.
       "What you are talking about is not war! We might as
       well send out a Codfish Trust to settle national
       disputes. In the next sea-fight we'll save ourselves
       the trouble of gnawing and crunching at the sterns of
       the enemy. We'll simply send a note aboard
       requesting the foreigner to be so good as to send
       us his rudder by bearer, which, if properly marked and
       numbered, will be returned to him on the conclusion of
       peace. This would do just as well as twisting it off,
       and save expense. No, sir, I will not join you in a
       julep! _I_ have made no alliance over new-fangled
       inventions! Waiter, fetch me some rum and hot water!"
       In the midst of the profound satisfaction with
       which the members of the American War Syndicate
       regarded the success of their labours,--labours alike
       profitable to themselves and to the recently contending
       nations,--and in the gratified pride with which they
       received the popular and official congratulations which
       were showered upon them, there was but one little
       cloud, one regret. _