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Hamlet
act ii   Scene 2
William Shakespeare
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       Elsinore. A room in the Castle.
       Flourish. [Enter King and Queen, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, cum aliis.]
       KING
       Welcome, dear Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
       Moreover that we much did long to see you,
       The need we have to use you did provoke
       Our hasty sending. Something have you heard
       Of Hamlet's transformation. So I call it,
       Sith nor th' exterior nor the inward man
       Resembles that it was. What it should be,
       More than his father's death, that thus hath put him
       So much from th' understanding of himself,
       I cannot dream of. I entreat you both
       That, being of so young days brought up with him,
       And since so neighbour'd to his youth and haviour,
       That you vouchsafe your rest here in our court
       Some little time; so by your companies
       To draw him on to pleasures, and to gather
       So much as from occasion you may glean,
       Whether aught to us unknown afflicts him thus
       That, open'd, lies within our remedy.
       QUEEN
       Good gentlemen, he hath much talk'd of you,
       And sure I am two men there are not living
       To whom he more adheres. If it will please you
       To show us so much gentry and good will
       As to expend your time with us awhile
       For the supply and profit of our hope,
       Your visitation shall receive such thanks
       As fits a king's remembrance.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Both your Majesties
       Might, by the sovereign power you have of us,
       Put your dread pleasures more into command
       Than to entreaty.
       GUILDENSTERN
       But we both obey,
       And here give up ourselves, in the full bent,
       To lay our service freely at your feet,
       To be commanded.
       KING
       Thanks, Rosencrantz and gentle Guildenstern.
       QUEEN
       Thanks, Guildenstern and gentle Rosencrantz.
       And I beseech you instantly to visit
       My too much changed son.- Go, some of you,
       And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is.
       GUILDENSTERN
       Heavens make our presence and our practices
       Pleasant and helpful to him!
       QUEEN
       Ay, amen!
       Exeunt Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, [with some Attendants].
       Enter Polonius.
       POLONIUS
       Th' ambassadors from Norway, my good lord,
       Are joyfully return'd.
       KING
       Thou still hast been the father of good news.
       POLONIUS
       Have I, my lord? Assure you, my good liege,
       I hold my duty as I hold my soul,
       Both to my God and to my gracious king;
       And I do think- or else this brain of mine
       Hunts not the trail of policy so sure
       As it hath us'd to do- that I have found
       The very cause of Hamlet's lunacy.
       KING
       O, speak of that! That do I long to hear.
       POLONIUS
       Give first admittance to th' ambassadors.
       My news shall be the fruit to that great feast.
       KING
       Thyself do grace to them, and bring them in.
       [Exit Polonius.]
       He tells me, my dear Gertrude, he hath found
       The head and source of all your son's distemper.
       QUEEN
       I doubt it is no other but the main,
       His father's death and our o'erhasty marriage.
       KING
       Well, we shall sift him.
       Enter Polonius, Voltemand, and Cornelius.
       Welcome, my good friends.
       Say, Voltemand, what from our brother Norway?
       VOLTEMAND
       Most fair return of greetings and desires.
       Upon our first, he sent out to suppress
       His nephew's levies; which to him appear'd
       To be a preparation 'gainst the Polack,
       But better look'd into, he truly found
       It was against your Highness; whereat griev'd,
       That so his sickness, age, and impotence
       Was falsely borne in hand, sends out arrests
       On Fortinbras; which he, in brief, obeys,
       Receives rebuke from Norway, and, in fine,
       Makes vow before his uncle never more
       To give th' assay of arms against your Majesty.
       Whereon old Norway, overcome with joy,
       Gives him three thousand crowns in annual fee
       And his commission to employ those soldiers,
       So levied as before, against the Polack;
       With an entreaty, herein further shown,
       [Gives a paper.]
       That it might please you to give quiet pass
       Through your dominions for this enterprise,
       On such regards of safety and allowance
       As therein are set down.
       KING
       It likes us well;
       And at our more consider'd time we'll read,
       Answer, and think upon this business.
       Meantime we thank you for your well-took labour.
       Go to your rest; at night we'll feast together.
       Most welcome home!
       Exeunt Ambassadors.
       POLONIUS
       This business is well ended.
       My liege, and madam, to expostulate
       What majesty should be, what duty is,
       Why day is day, night is night, and time is time.
       Were nothing but to waste night, day, and time.
       Therefore, since brevity is the soul of wit,
       And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes,
       I will be brief. Your noble son is mad.
       Mad call I it; for, to define true madness,
       What is't but to be nothing else but mad?
       But let that go.
       QUEEN
       More matter, with less art.
       POLONIUS
       Madam, I swear I use no art at all.
       That he is mad, 'tis true: 'tis true 'tis pity;
       And pity 'tis 'tis true. A foolish figure!
       But farewell it, for I will use no art.
       Mad let us grant him then. And now remains
       That we find out the cause of this effect-
       Or rather say, the cause of this defect,
       For this effect defective comes by cause.
       Thus it remains, and the remainder thus.
       Perpend.
       I have a daughter (have while she is mine),
       Who in her duty and obedience, mark,
       Hath given me this. Now gather, and surmise.
       [Reads] the letter.
       'To the celestial, and my soul's idol, the most beautified
       Ophelia,'-
       That's an ill phrase, a vile phrase; 'beautified' is a vile
       phrase.
       But you shall hear. Thus:
       [Reads.]
       'In her excellent white bosom, these, &c.'
       QUEEN
       Came this from Hamlet to her?
       POLONIUS
       Good madam, stay awhile. I will be faithful.
       [Reads.]
       'Doubt thou the stars are fire;
       Doubt that the sun doth move;
       Doubt truth to be a liar;
       But never doubt I love.
       'O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers; I have not art to
       reckon my groans; but that I love thee best, O most best, believe
       it. Adieu.
       'Thine evermore, most dear lady, whilst this machine is to him,
       HAMLET.'
       This, in obedience, hath my daughter shown me;
       And more above, hath his solicitings,
       As they fell out by time, by means, and place,
       All given to mine ear.
       KING
       But how hath she
       Receiv'd his love?
       POLONIUS
       What do you think of me?
       KING
       As of a man faithful and honourable.
       POLONIUS
       I would fain prove so. But what might you think,
       When I had seen this hot love on the wing
       (As I perceiv'd it, I must tell you that,
       Before my daughter told me), what might you,
       Or my dear Majesty your queen here, think,
       If I had play'd the desk or table book,
       Or given my heart a winking, mute and dumb,
       Or look'd upon this love with idle sight?
       What might you think? No, I went round to work
       And my young mistress thus I did bespeak:
       'Lord Hamlet is a prince, out of thy star.
       This must not be.' And then I prescripts gave her,
       That she should lock herself from his resort,
       Admit no messengers, receive no tokens.
       Which done, she took the fruits of my advice,
       And he, repulsed, a short tale to make,
       Fell into a sadness, then into a fast,
       Thence to a watch, thence into a weakness,
       Thence to a lightness, and, by this declension,
       Into the madness wherein now he raves,
       And all we mourn for.
       KING
       Do you think 'tis this?
       QUEEN
       It may be, very like.
       POLONIUS
       Hath there been such a time- I would fain know that-
       That I have Positively said ''Tis so,'
       When it prov'd otherwise.?
       KING
       Not that I know.
       POLONIUS
       [points to his head and shoulder] Take this from this, if this
       be otherwise.
       If circumstances lead me, I will find
       Where truth is hid, though it were hid indeed
       Within the centre.
       KING
       How may we try it further?
       POLONIUS
       You know sometimes he walks for hours together
       Here in the lobby.
       QUEEN
       So he does indeed.
       POLONIUS
       At such a time I'll loose my daughter to him.
       Be you and I behind an arras then.
       Mark the encounter. If he love her not,
       And he not from his reason fall'n thereon
       Let me be no assistant for a state,
       But keep a farm and carters.
       KING
       We will try it.
       Enter Hamlet, reading on a book.
       QUEEN
       But look where sadly the poor wretch comes reading.
       POLONIUS
       Away, I do beseech you, both away
       I'll board him presently. O, give me leave.
       Exeunt King and Queen, [with Attendants].
       How does my good Lord Hamlet?
       HAMLET
       Well, God-a-mercy.
       POLONIUS
       Do you know me, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Excellent well. You are a fishmonger.
       POLONIUS
       Not I, my lord.
       HAMLET
       Then I would you were so honest a man.
       POLONIUS
       Honest, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Ay, sir. To be honest, as this world goes, is to be one man
       pick'd out of ten thousand.
       POLONIUS
       That's very true, my lord.
       HAMLET
       For if the sun breed maggots in a dead dog, being a god
       kissing carrion- Have you a daughter?
       POLONIUS
       I have, my lord.
       HAMLET
       Let her not walk i' th' sun. Conception is a blessing, but not
       as your daughter may conceive. Friend, look to't.
       POLONIUS
       [aside] How say you by that? Still harping on my daughter. Yet
       he knew me not at first. He said I was a fishmonger. He is far
       gone, far gone! And truly in my youth I suff'red much extremity
       for love- very near this. I'll speak to him again.- What do you
       read, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Words, words, words.
       POLONIUS
       What is the matter, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Between who?
       POLONIUS
       I mean, the matter that you read, my lord.
       HAMLET
       Slanders, sir; for the satirical rogue says here that old men
       have grey beards; that their faces are wrinkled; their eyes
       purging thick amber and plum-tree gum; and that they have a
       plentiful lack of wit, together with most weak hams. All which,
       sir, though I most powerfully and potently believe, yet I hold it
       not honesty to have it thus set down; for you yourself, sir,
       should be old as I am if, like a crab, you could go backward.
       POLONIUS
       [aside] Though this be madness, yet there is a method in't.-
       Will You walk out of the air, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Into my grave?
       POLONIUS
       Indeed, that is out o' th' air. [Aside] How pregnant sometimes
       his replies are! a happiness that often madness hits on, which
       reason and sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of. I
       will leave him and suddenly contrive the means of meeting between
       him and my daughter.- My honourable lord, I will most humbly take
       my leave of you.
       HAMLET
       You cannot, sir, take from me anything that I will more
       willingly part withal- except my life, except my life, except my
       life,
       Enter Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
       POLONIUS
       Fare you well, my lord.
       HAMLET
       These tedious old fools!
       POLONIUS
       You go to seek the Lord Hamlet. There he is.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       [to Polonius] God save you, sir!
       Exit [Polonius].
       GUILDENSTERN
       My honour'd lord!
       ROSENCRANTZ
       My most dear lord!
       HAMLET
       My excellent good friends! How dost thou, Guildenstern? Ah,
       Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do ye both?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       As the indifferent children of the earth.
       GUILDENSTERN
       Happy in that we are not over-happy.
       On Fortune's cap we are not the very button.
       HAMLET
       Nor the soles of her shoe?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Neither, my lord.
       HAMLET
       Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of her
       favours?
       GUILDENSTERN
       Faith, her privates we.
       HAMLET
       In the secret parts of Fortune? O! most true! she is a
       strumpet. What news ?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       None, my lord, but that the world's grown honest.
       HAMLET
       Then is doomsday near! But your news is not true. Let me
       question more in particular. What have you, my good friends,
       deserved at the hands of Fortune that she sends you to prison
       hither?
       GUILDENSTERN
       Prison, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Denmark's a prison.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Then is the world one.
       HAMLET
       A goodly one; in which there are many confines, wards, and
       dungeons, Denmark being one o' th' worst.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       We think not so, my lord.
       HAMLET
       Why, then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good
       or bad but thinking makes it so. To me it is a prison.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Why, then your ambition makes it one. 'Tis too narrow for your
       mind.
       HAMLET
       O God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a
       king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams.
       GUILDENSTERN
       Which dreams indeed are ambition; for the very substance of
       the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.
       HAMLET
       A dream itself is but a shadow.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Truly, and I hold ambition of so airy and light a quality that
       it is but a shadow's shadow.
       HAMLET
       Then are our beggars bodies, and our monarchs and outstretch'd
       heroes the beggars' shadows. Shall we to th' court? for, by my
       fay, I cannot reason.
       BOTH
       We'll wait upon you.
       HAMLET
       No such matter! I will not sort you with the rest of my
       servants; for, to speak to you like an honest man, I am most
       dreadfully attended. But in the beaten way of friendship, what
       make you at Elsinore?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.
       HAMLET
       Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I thank you;
       and sure, dear friends, my thanks are too dear a halfpenny. Were
       you not sent for? Is it your own inclining? Is it a free
       visitation? Come, deal justly with me. Come, come! Nay, speak.
       GUILDENSTERN
       What should we say, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Why, anything- but to th' purpose. You were sent for; and
       there is a kind of confession in your looks, which your modesties
       have not craft enough to colour. I know the good King and Queen
       have sent for you.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       To what end, my lord?
       HAMLET
       That you must teach me. But let me conjure you by the rights
       of our fellowship, by the consonancy of our youth, by the
       obligation of our ever-preserved love, and by what more dear a
       better proposer could charge you withal, be even and direct with
       me, whether you were sent for or no.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       [aside to Guildenstern] What say you?
       HAMLET
       [aside] Nay then, I have an eye of you.- If you love me, hold
       not off.
       GUILDENSTERN
       My lord, we were sent for.
       HAMLET
       I will tell you why. So shall my anticipation prevent your
       discovery, and your secrecy to the King and Queen moult no
       feather. I have of late- but wherefore I know not- lost all my
       mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so
       heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth,
       seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the
       air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical
       roof fretted with golden fire- why, it appeareth no other thing
       to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a
       piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in
       faculties! in form and moving how express and admirable! in
       action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the
       beauty of the world, the paragon of animals! And yet to me what
       is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me- no, nor woman
       neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.
       HAMLET
       Why did you laugh then, when I said 'Man delights not me'?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       To think, my lord, if you delight not in man, what lenten
       entertainment the players shall receive from you. We coted them
       on the way, and hither are they coming to offer you service.
       HAMLET
       He that plays the king shall be welcome- his Majesty shall
       have tribute of me; the adventurous knight shall use his foil and
       target; the lover shall not sigh gratis; the humorous man shall
       end his part in peace; the clown shall make those laugh whose
       lungs are tickle o' th' sere; and the lady shall say her mind
       freely, or the blank verse shall halt for't. What players are
       they?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Even those you were wont to take such delight in, the
       tragedians of the city.
       HAMLET
       How chances it they travel? Their residence, both in
       reputation and profit, was better both ways.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       I think their inhibition comes by the means of the late
       innovation.
       HAMLET
       Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was in the
       city? Are they so follow'd?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       No indeed are they not.
       HAMLET
       How comes it? Do they grow rusty?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Nay, their endeavour keeps in the wonted pace; but there is,
       sir, an eyrie of children, little eyases, that cry out on the top
       of question and are most tyrannically clapp'd for't. These are now
       the fashion, and so berattle the common stages (so they call
       them) that many wearing rapiers are afraid of goosequills and
       dare scarce come thither.
       HAMLET
       What, are they children? Who maintains 'em? How are they
       escoted? Will they pursue the quality no longer than they can
       sing? Will they not say afterwards, if they should grow
       themselves to common players (as it is most like, if their means
       are no better), their writers do them wrong to make them exclaim
       against their own succession.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Faith, there has been much to do on both sides; and the nation
       holds it no sin to tarre them to controversy. There was, for a
       while, no money bid for argument unless the poet and the player
       went to cuffs in the question.
       HAMLET
       Is't possible?
       GUILDENSTERN
       O, there has been much throwing about of brains.
       HAMLET
       Do the boys carry it away?
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Ay, that they do, my lord- Hercules and his load too.
       HAMLET
       It is not very strange; for my uncle is King of Denmark, and
       those that would make mows at him while my father lived give
       twenty, forty, fifty, a hundred ducats apiece for his picture in
       little. 'Sblood, there is something in this more than natural, if
       philosophy could find it out.
       Flourish for the Players.
       GUILDENSTERN
       There are the players.
       HAMLET
       Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands, come! Th'
       appurtenance of welcome is fashion and ceremony. Let me comply
       with you in this garb, lest my extent to the players (which I
       tell you must show fairly outwards) should more appear like
       entertainment than yours. You are welcome. But my uncle-father
       and aunt-mother are deceiv'd.
       GUILDENSTERN
       In what, my dear lord?
       HAMLET
       I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly I
       know a hawk from a handsaw.
       Enter Polonius.
       POLONIUS
       Well be with you, gentlemen!
       HAMLET
       Hark you, Guildenstern- and you too- at each ear a hearer!
       That great baby you see there is not yet out of his swaddling
       clouts.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Happily he's the second time come to them; for they say an old
       man is twice a child.
       HAMLET
       I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players. Mark it.-
       You say right, sir; a Monday morning; twas so indeed.
       POLONIUS
       My lord, I have news to tell you.
       HAMLET
       My lord, I have news to tell you. When Roscius was an actor in
       Rome-
       POLONIUS
       The actors are come hither, my lord.
       HAMLET
       Buzz, buzz!
       POLONIUS
       Upon my honour-
       HAMLET
       Then came each actor on his ass-
       POLONIUS
       The best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy,
       history, pastoral, pastoral-comical, historical-pastoral,
       tragical-historical, tragical-comical-historical-pastoral; scene
       individable, or poem unlimited. Seneca cannot be too heavy, nor
       Plautus too light. For the law of writ and the liberty, these are
       the only men.
       HAMLET
       O Jephthah, judge of Israel, what a treasure hadst thou!
       POLONIUS
       What treasure had he, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Why,
       'One fair daughter, and no more,
       The which he loved passing well.'
       POLONIUS
       [aside] Still on my daughter.
       HAMLET
       Am I not i' th' right, old Jephthah?
       POLONIUS
       If you call me Jephthah, my lord, I have a daughter that I
       love passing well.
       HAMLET
       Nay, that follows not.
       POLONIUS
       What follows then, my lord?
       HAMLET
       Why,
       

'As by lot, God wot,'
       and then, you know,
       

'It came to pass, as most like it was.'
       The first row of the pious chanson will show you more; for look
       where my abridgment comes.
       Enter four or five Players.
       You are welcome, masters; welcome, all.- I am glad to see thee
       well.- Welcome, good friends.- O, my old friend? Why, thy face is
       valanc'd since I saw thee last. Com'st' thou to' beard me in
       Denmark?- What, my young lady and mistress? By'r Lady, your
       ladyship is nearer to heaven than when I saw you last by the
       altitude of a chopine. Pray God your voice, like a piece of
       uncurrent gold, be not crack'd within the ring.- Masters, you are
       all welcome. We'll e'en to't like French falconers, fly at
       anything we see. We'll have a speech straight. Come, give us a
       taste of your quality. Come, a passionate speech.
       FIRST PLAYER
       What speech, my good lord?
       HAMLET
       I heard thee speak me a speech once, but it was never acted;
       or if it was, not above once; for the play, I remember, pleas'd
       not the million, 'twas caviary to the general; but it was (as I
       receiv'd it, and others, whose judgments in such matters cried in
       the top of mine) an excellent play, well digested in the scenes,
       set down with as much modesty as cunning. I remember one said
       there were no sallets in the lines to make the matter savoury,
       nor no matter in the phrase that might indict the author of
       affectation; but call'd it an honest method, as wholesome as
       sweet, and by very much more handsome than fine. One speech in't
       I chiefly lov'd. 'Twas AEneas' tale to Dido, and thereabout of it
       especially where he speaks of Priam's slaughter. If it live in
       your memory, begin at this line- let me see, let me see:
       'The rugged Pyrrhus, like th' Hyrcanian beast-'
       'Tis not so; it begins with Pyrrhus:
       'The rugged Pyrrhus, he whose sable arms,
       Black as his purpose, did the night resemble
       When he lay couched in the ominous horse,
       Hath now this dread and black complexion smear'd
       With heraldry more dismal. Head to foot
       Now is be total gules, horridly trick'd
       With blood of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons,
       Bak'd and impasted with the parching streets,
       That lend a tyrannous and a damned light
       To their lord's murther. Roasted in wrath and fire,
       And thus o'ersized with coagulate gore,
       With eyes like carbuncles, the hellish Pyrrhus
       Old grandsire Priam seeks.'
       So, proceed you.
       POLONIUS
       Fore God, my lord, well spoken, with good accent and good
       discretion.
       FIRST PLAYER
       'Anon he finds him,
       Striking too short at Greeks. His antique sword,
       Rebellious to his arm, lies where it falls,
       Repugnant to command. Unequal match'd,
       Pyrrhus at Priam drives, in rage strikes wide;
       But with the whiff and wind of his fell sword
       Th' unnerved father falls. Then senseless Ilium,
       Seeming to feel this blow, with flaming top
       Stoops to his base, and with a hideous crash
       Takes prisoner Pyrrhus' ear. For lo! his sword,
       Which was declining on the milky head
       Of reverend Priam, seem'd i' th' air to stick.
       So, as a painted tyrant, Pyrrhus stood,
       And, like a neutral to his will and matter,
       Did nothing.
       But, as we often see, against some storm,
       A silence in the heavens, the rack stand still,
       The bold winds speechless, and the orb below
       As hush as death- anon the dreadful thunder
       Doth rend the region; so, after Pyrrhus' pause,
       Aroused vengeance sets him new awork;
       And never did the Cyclops' hammers fall
       On Mars's armour, forg'd for proof eterne,
       With less remorse than Pyrrhus' bleeding sword
       Now falls on Priam.
       Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune! All you gods,
       In general synod take away her power;
       Break all the spokes and fellies from her wheel,
       And bowl the round nave down the hill of heaven,
       As low as to the fiends!
       POLONIUS
       This is too long.
       HAMLET
       It shall to the barber's, with your beard.- Prithee say on.
       He's for a jig or a tale of bawdry, or he sleeps. Say on; come to
       Hecuba.
       FIRST PLAYER
       'But who, O who, had seen the mobled queen-'
       HAMLET
       'The mobled queen'?
       POLONIUS
       That's good! 'Mobled queen' is good.
       FIRST PLAYER
       'Run barefoot up and down, threat'ning the flames
       With bisson rheum; a clout upon that head
       Where late the diadem stood, and for a robe,
       About her lank and all o'erteemed loins,
       A blanket, in the alarm of fear caught up-
       Who this had seen, with tongue in venom steep'd
       'Gainst Fortune's state would treason have pronounc'd.
       But if the gods themselves did see her then,
       When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport
       In Mincing with his sword her husband's limbs,
       The instant burst of clamour that she made
       (Unless things mortal move them not at all)
       Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven
       And passion in the gods.'
       POLONIUS
       Look, whe'r he has not turn'd his colour, and has tears in's
       eyes. Prithee no more!
       HAMLET
       'Tis well. I'll have thee speak out the rest of this soon.-
       Good my lord, will you see the players well bestow'd? Do you
       hear? Let them be well us'd; for they are the abstract and brief
       chronicles of the time. After your death you were better have a
       bad epitaph than their ill report while you live.
       POLONIUS
       My lord, I will use them according to their desert.
       HAMLET
       God's bodykins, man, much better! Use every man after his
       desert, and who should scape whipping? Use them after your own
       honour and dignity. The less they deserve, the more merit is in
       your bounty. Take them in.
       POLONIUS
       Come, sirs.
       HAMLET
       Follow him, friends. We'll hear a play to-morrow.
       Exeunt Polonius and Players [except the First].
       Dost thou hear me, old friend? Can you play 'The Murther of
       Gonzago'?
       FIRST PLAYER
       Ay, my lord.
       HAMLET
       We'll ha't to-morrow night. You could, for a need, study a
       speech of some dozen or sixteen lines which I would set down and
       insert in't, could you not?
       FIRST PLAYER
       Ay, my lord.
       HAMLET
       Very well. Follow that lord- and look you mock him not.
       [Exit First Player.]
       My good friends, I'll leave you till night. You are welcome to
       Elsinore.
       ROSENCRANTZ
       Good my lord!
       HAMLET
       Ay, so, God b' wi' ye!
       [Exeunt Rosencrantz and Guildenstern]
       Now I am alone.
       O what a rogue and peasant slave am I!
       Is it not monstrous that this player here,
       But in a fiction, in a dream of passion,
       Could force his soul so to his own conceit
       That, from her working, all his visage wann'd,
       Tears in his eyes, distraction in's aspect,
       A broken voice, and his whole function suiting
       With forms to his conceit? And all for nothing!
       For Hecuba!
       What's Hecuba to him, or he to Hecuba,
       That he should weep for her? What would he do,
       Had he the motive and the cue for passion
       That I have? He would drown the stage with tears
       And cleave the general ear with horrid speech;
       Make mad the guilty and appal the free,
       Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed
       The very faculties of eyes and ears.
       Yet I,
       A dull and muddy-mettled rascal, peak
       Like John-a-dreams, unpregnant of my cause,
       And can say nothing! No, not for a king,
       Upon whose property and most dear life
       A damn'd defeat was made. Am I a coward?
       Who calls me villain? breaks my pate across?
       Plucks off my beard and blows it in my face?
       Tweaks me by th' nose? gives me the lie i' th' throat
       As deep as to the lungs? Who does me this, ha?
       'Swounds, I should take it! for it cannot be
       But I am pigeon-liver'd and lack gall
       To make oppression bitter, or ere this
       I should have fatted all the region kites
       With this slave's offal. Bloody bawdy villain!
       Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain!
       O, vengeance!
       Why, what an ass am I! This is most brave,
       That I, the son of a dear father murther'd,
       Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell,
       Must (like a whore) unpack my heart with words
       And fall a-cursing like a very drab,
       A scullion!
       Fie upon't! foh! About, my brain! Hum, I have heard
       That guilty creatures, sitting at a play,
       Have by the very cunning of the scene
       Been struck so to the soul that presently
       They have proclaim'd their malefactions;
       For murther, though it have no tongue, will speak
       With most miraculous organ, I'll have these Players
       Play something like the murther of my father
       Before mine uncle. I'll observe his looks;
       I'll tent him to the quick. If he but blench,
       I know my course. The spirit that I have seen
       May be a devil; and the devil hath power
       T' assume a pleasing shape; yea, and perhaps
       Out of my weakness and my melancholy,
       As he is very potent with such spirits,
       Abuses me to damn me. I'll have grounds
       More relative than this. The play's the thing
       Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the King.
       Exit.

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Dramatis Personae
act i
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
   Scene 5
act ii
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
act iii
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
act iv
   Scene 1
   Scene 2
   Scene 3
   Scene 4
   Scene 5
   Scene 6
   Scene 7
act v
   Scene 1
   Scene 2