Alexandria. CLEOPATRA'S palace
Enter CLEOPATRA, CHARMIAN, IRAS, and ALEXAS CLEOPATRA Give me some music- music, moody food
Of us that trade in love.
ALL The music, ho!
Enter MARDIAN the eunuch CLEOPATRA Let it alone! Let's to billiards. Come, Charmian.
CHARMIAN My arm is sore; best play with Mardian.
CLEOPATRA As well a woman with an eunuch play'd
As with a woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?
MARDIAN As well as I can, madam.
CLEOPATRA And when good will is show'd, though't come too short,
The actor may plead pardon. I'll none now.
Give me mine angle- we'll to th' river. There,
My music playing far off, I will betray
Tawny-finn'd fishes; my bended hook shall pierce
Their slimy jaws; and as I draw them up
I'll think them every one an Antony,
And say 'Ah ha! Y'are caught.'
CHARMIAN 'Twas merry when
You wager'd on your angling; when your diver
Did hang a salt fish on his hook, which he
With fervency drew up.
CLEOPATRA That time? O times
I laughed him out of patience; and that night
I laugh'd him into patience; and next morn,
Ere the ninth hour, I drunk him to his bed,
Then put my tires and mantles on him, whilst
I wore his sword Philippan.
Enter a MESSENGER O! from Italy?
Ram thou thy fruitful tidings in mine ears,
That long time have been barren.
MESSENGER Madam, madam-
CLEOPATRA Antony's dead! If thou say so, villain,
Thou kill'st thy mistress; but well and free,
If thou so yield him, there is gold, and here
My bluest veins to kiss- a hand that kings
Have lipp'd, and trembled kissing.
MESSENGER First, madam, he is well.
CLEOPATRA Why, there's more gold.
But, sirrah, mark, we use
To say the dead are well. Bring it to that,
The gold I give thee will I melt and pour
Down thy ill-uttering throat.
MESSENGER Good madam, hear me.
CLEOPATRA Well, go to, I will.
But there's no goodness in thy face. If Antony
Be free and healthful- why so tart a favour
To trumpet such good tidings? If not well,
Thou shouldst come like a Fury crown'd with snakes,
Not like a formal man.
MESSENGER Will't please you hear me?
CLEOPATRA I have a mind to strike thee ere thou speak'st.
Yet, if thou say Antony lives, is well,
Or friends with Caesar, or not captive to him,
I'll set thee in a shower of gold, and hail
Rich pearls upon thee.
MESSENGER Madam, he's well.
CLEOPATRA Well said.
MESSENGER And friends with Caesar.
CLEOPATRA Th'art an honest man.
MESSENGER Caesar and he are greater friends than ever.
CLEOPATRA Make thee a fortune from me.
MESSENGER But yet, madam-
CLEOPATRA I do not like 'but yet.' It does allay
The good precedence; fie upon 'but yet'!
'But yet' is as a gaoler to bring forth
Some monstrous malefactor. Prithee, friend,
Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
The good and bad together. He's friends with Caesar;
In state of health, thou say'st; and, thou say'st, free.
MESSENGER Free, madam! No; I made no such report.
He's bound unto Octavia.
CLEOPATRA For what good turn?
MESSENGER For the best turn i' th' bed.
CLEOPATRA I am pale, Charmian.
MESSENGER Madam, he's married to Octavia.
CLEOPATRA The most infectious pestilence upon thee!
[Strikes him down] MESSENGER Good madam, patience.
CLEOPATRA What say you? Hence,
[Strikes him] Horrible villain! or I'll spurn thine eyes
Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head;
[She hales him up and down] Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire and stew'd in brine,
Smarting in ling'ring pickle.
MESSENGER Gracious madam,
I that do bring the news made not the match.
CLEOPATRA Say 'tis not so, a province I will give thee,
And make thy fortunes proud. The blow thou hadst
Shall make thy peace for moving me to rage;
And I will boot thee with what gift beside
Thy modesty can beg.
MESSENGER He's married, madam.
CLEOPATRA Rogue, thou hast liv'd too long.
[Draws a knife] MESSENGER Nay, then I'll run.
What mean you, madam? I have made no fault.
Exit CHARMIAN Good madam, keep yourself within yourself:
The man is innocent.
CLEOPATRA Some innocents scape not the thunderbolt.
Melt Egypt into Nile! and kindly creatures
Turn all to serpents! Call the slave again.
Though I am mad, I will not bite him. Call!
CHARMIAN He is afear'd to come.
CLEOPATRA I will not hurt him.
These hands do lack nobility, that they strike
A meaner than myself; since I myself
Have given myself the cause.
Enter the MESSENGER again Come hither, sir.
Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news. Give to a gracious message
An host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell
Themselves when they be felt.
MESSENGER I have done my duty.
CLEOPATRA Is he married?
I cannot hate thee worser than I do
If thou again say 'Yes.'
MESSENGER He's married, madam.
CLEOPATRA The gods confound thee! Dost thou hold there still?
MESSENGER Should I lie, madam?
CLEOPATRA O, I would thou didst,
So half my Egypt were submerg'd and made
A cistern for scal'd snakes! Go, get thee hence.
Hadst thou Narcissus in thy face, to me
Thou wouldst appear most ugly. He is married?
MESSENGER I crave your Highness' pardon.
CLEOPATRA He is married?
MESSENGER Take no offence that I would not offend you;
To punish me for what you make me do
Seems much unequal. He's married to Octavia.
CLEOPATRA O, that his fault should make a knave of thee
That art not what th'art sure of! Get thee hence.
The merchandise which thou hast brought from Rome
Are all too dear for me. Lie they upon thy hand,
And be undone by 'em!
Exit MESSENGER CHARMIAN Good your Highness, patience.
CLEOPATRA In praising Antony I have disprais'd Caesar.
CHARMIAN Many times, madam.
CLEOPATRA I am paid for't now. Lead me from hence,
I faint. O Iras, Charmian! 'Tis no matter.
Go to the fellow, good Alexas; bid him
Report the feature of Octavia, her years,
Her inclination; let him not leave out
The colour of her hair. Bring me word quickly.
Exit ALEXAS Let him for ever go- let him not, Charmian-
Though he be painted one way like a Gorgon,
The other way's a Mars.
[To MARDIAN] Bid you Alexas
Bring me word how tall she is.- Pity me, Charmian,
But do not speak to me. Lead me to my chamber.
Exeunt