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The Broad Highway
book one   Chapter XV. In Which I Meet with a Pedler by the Name of "Gabbing" Dick
Jeffrey Farnol
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       "You won't be wantin' ever a broom, now?"
       I sat up, sleepily, and rubbed my eyes. The sun was gone, and the blue sky had changed to a deep purple, set here and there with a quivering star. Yet the light was still strong enough to enable me to distinguish the speaker--a short, thick-set man. Upon his shoulder he carried a bundle of brooms, a pack was slung to his back, while round his neck there dangled a heterogeneous collection of articles--ribbons, laces, tawdry neck chains, and the like; indeed, so smothered was he in his wares that, as he stood there, he had more the aspect of some disordered fancy than of a human being.
       "You won't be wantin' ever a broom, now?" he repeated, in a somewhat melancholy tone.
       "No," said I.
       "Nor yet a mop?"
       "Nor that either," said I.
       "A belt, now," he suggested mournfully, "a fine leather belt wi' a steel buckle made in Brummagem as ever was, and all for a shillin'; what d'ye say to a fine belt?"
       "That I have no need of one, thank you."
       "Ah, well!" said the man, spitting dejectedly at a patch of shadow, "I thought as much; you aren't got the look of a buyer."
       "Then why ask me?"
       "Hinstinct!" said he, "it's jest hinstinct--it comes as nat'ral to me as eatin', or walkin' these 'ere roads."
       "Have you come far to-day?"
       "Twenty mile, maybe," he answered, setting down his bundle of brooms.
       "Are you tired?"
       "'Course I'm tired."
       "Then why not sit down and rest?"
       "Because I'd 'ave to get up again, wouldn't I?"
       "Are you hungry?
       "'Ungry aren't the word for it."
       "And how is trade?"
       "Couldn't be worse!"
       "I perceive you are a pessimist," said I.
       "No," said he, "I'm a pedler--baptism'l name Richard, commonly known as 'Gabbin' Dick.'"
       "At least yours is a fine healthy trade," said I.
       "'Ow so?"
       "A life of constant exercise, and fresh air; to-day for instance--"
       "'Ot as a hoven!" said he.
       "Yet there was a good, cool wind," said I.
       "Ah! an' with dust enough to choke a man! And then there's the loneliness o' these 'ere roads."
       "Loneliness?" said I.
       "That's the word; sometimes it gets so bad as I'm minded to do away wi' myself--"
       "Strange!" I began.
       "Not a bit," said be; "when you've been a-walkin' an' a-walkin' all day past 'edge and 'edge, and tree and tree, it's bad enough, but it's worse when the sun's gone out, an' you foller the glimmer o' the road on and on, past 'edges as ain't 'edges, and trees as ain't trees, but things as touch you as you pass, and reach out arter you in the dark, behind. Theer's one on 'em, back theer on the Cranbrook road, looks like an oak-tree in the daytime--ah, an' a big 'un--it's nearly 'ad me three times a'ready--once by the leg, once by the arm, and once by the neck. I don't pass it arter dark no more, but it'll 'ave me yet--mark my words--it'll 'ave me one o' these fine nights; and they'll find me a-danglin' in the gray o' the dawn!"
       "Do you mean that you are afraid?" I inquired.
       "No, not afeared exactly; it's jest the loneliness--the lonely quietness. Why, Lord! you aren't got no notion o' the tricks the trees and 'edges gets up to a' nights--nobody 'as but us as tramps the roads. Bill Nye knowed, same as I know, but Bill Nye's dead; cut 'is throat, 'e did, wi' one o' 'is own razors--under a 'edge."
       "And what for?" I inquired, as the Pedler paused to spit lugubriously into the road again.
       "Nobody knowed but me. William Nye 'e were a tinker, and a rare, merry 'un 'e were--a little man always up to 'is jinkin' and jokin' and laughin'. 'Dick,' 'e used to say (but Richard I were baptized, though they calls me Dick for short), 'Dick,' 'e used to say, 'd'ye know that theer big oak-tree--the big, 'oller oak as stands at the crossroads a mile and a 'alf out o' Cranbrook? A man might do for 'isself very nice, and quiet, tucked away inside of it, Dick,' says 'e; 'it's such a nice, quiet place, so snug and dark, I wonder as nobody does. I never pass by,' says 'e, 'but I takes a peep inside, jest to make sure as theer aren't no legs a-danglin', nor nobody 'unched up dead in the dark. It's such a nice, quiet place,' e used to say, shakin' 'is lead, and smilin' sad-like, 'I wonder as nobody's never thought of it afore.' Well, one day, sure enough, poor Bill Nye disappeared--nobody knowed wheer. Bill, as I say, was a merry sort, always ready wi' a joke, and that's apt to get a man friends, and they searched for 'im 'igh and low, but neither 'ide nor 'air o' poor Bill did they find. At last, one evenin' I 'appened to pass the big oak--the 'oller oak, and mindin' Bill's words, thinks I--'ere's to see if 'tis empty as Bill said. Goin' up to it I got down on my 'ands and knees, and, strikin' a light, looked inside; and there, sure enough, was poor Bill Nye hunched up inside of it wi' a razor in 'is 'and, and 'is 'ead nigh cut off--and what wi' one thing and another, a very unpleasant sight he were."
       "And why--why did he do it?" I asked.
       "Because 'e 'ad to, o' course--it's jest the loneliness. They'll find me some day, danglin'--I never could abide 'blood myself--danglin' to the thing as looks like a oak tree in the daytime."
       "What do you mean?" said I.
       The Pedler sighed, shook his head, and shouldered his brooms.
       "It's jest the loneliness!" said he, and, spitting over this shoulder, trudged upon his way.
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Ante Scriptum
book one
   Chapter I. Chiefly Concerning My Uncle's Last Will and Testament
   Chapter II. I Set Out
   Chapter III. Concerns Itself Mainly with a Hat
   Chapter IV. I Meet with a Great Misfortune
   Chapter V. The Bagman
   Chapter VI. What Befell Me at "The White Hart"
   Chapter VII. Of the Further Puzzling Behavior of Tom Cragg, the Pugilist
   Chapter VIII. Which Concerns Itself with a Farmer's Whiskers and a Waistcoat
   Chapter IX. In Which I Stumble Upon an Affair of Honor.
   Chapter X. Which Relates the End of an Honorable Affair
   Chapter XI. Which Relates a Brief Passage-at-Arms at "The Chequers" Inn
   Chapter XII. The One-Legged Soldier
   Chapter XIII. In Which I Find an Answer to My Riddle
   Chapter XIV. Further Concerning the Gentleman in the Battered Hat
   Chapter XV. In Which I Meet with a Pedler by the Name of "Gabbing" Dick
   Chapter XVI. How I Heard the Steps of One Who Dogged Me in the Shadows
   Chapter XVII. How I Talked with a Madman in a Wood by Moonlight
   Chapter XVIII. The Hedge-Tavern
   Chapter XIX. In Which I Become a Squire of Dames
   Chapter XX. Concerning Daemons in General and One in Particular
   Chapter XXI. "Journeys End in Lovers' Meetings"
   Chapter XXII. In Which I Meet with a Literary Tinker
   Chapter XXIII. Concerning Happiness, a Ploughman, and Silver Buttons
   Chapter XXIV. Which Introduces the Reader to the Ancient
   Chapter XXV. Of Black George, the Smith, and How We Threw the Hammer
   Chapter XXVI. Wherein I Learn More Concerning the GHost of the Ruined Hut
   Chapter XXVII. Which Tells How and in What MAnner I Saw the Ghost
   Chapter XXVIII. The Highland Piper
   Chapter XXIX. How Black George and I Shook Hands
   Chapter XXX. In Which I Forswear Myself and Am Accused of Possessing the "Evil Eye"
   Chapter XXXI. In Which Donald Bids Me Farewell
   Chapter XXXII. In Which This First Book Begins to Draw to a Close
   Chapter XXXIII. In Which We Draw Yet Nearer to the End of This First Book
   Chapter XXXIV. Which Describes Sundry Happenings at the Fair, and Ends This First Book
   A Word to the Reader
book two. the woman
   Chapter I. Of Storm, and TEmpest, and of the Coming of Charmian
   Chapter II. The Postilion
   Chapter III. Which Bears Ample Testimony to the Strength of the Gentleman's Fists
   Chapter IV. Which, Among Other Matters, Has to Do with Bruises and Bandages
   Chapter V. In Which I Hear Ill News of George
   Chapter VI. In Which I Learn of an Impending Danger
   Chapter VII. Which Narrates a Somewhat Remarkable Conversation
   Chapter VIII. In Which I See a Vision in the Glory of the Moon, and Eat of a Poached Rabbit
   Chapter IX. Which Relates Somewhat of Charmian Brown
   Chapter X. I Am Suspected of the Black Art
   Chapter XI. A Shadow in the Hedge
   Chapter XII. Who Comes?
   Chapter XIII. A Pedler in Arcadia
   Chapter XIV. Concerning Black George's Letter
   Chapter XV. Which, Being in Parenthesis, May Be Skipped if the Reader so Desire
   Chapter XVI. Concerning, Among Other Matters, the Price of Beef, and the Lady Sophia Sefton of Cambourne
   Chapter XVII. The Omen
   Chapter XVIII. In Which I Hear News of Sir Maurice Vibart
   Chapter XIX. How I Met Black George Again, and Wherein the Patient Reader Shall Find a "Little Blood"
   Chapter XX. How I Came Up Out of the Dark
   Chapter XXI. Of the Opening of the Door, and How Charmian Blew Out the Light
   Chapter XXII. In Which the Ancient Discourses on Love
   Chapter XXIII. How Gabbing Dick, the Pedler, Set a Hammer Going in My Head
   Chapter XXIV. The Virgil Book
   Chapter XXV. In Which the Reader Shall Find Little to Do with the Story, and May, Therefore, Skip
   Chapter XXVI. Of Storm, and Tempest, and How I Met One Praying in the Dawn
   Chapter XXVII. The Epileptic
   Chapter XXVIII. In Which I Come to a Determination
   Chapter XXIX. In Which Charmian Answers My Question
   Chapter XXX. Concerning the Fate of Black George
   Chapter XXXI. In Which the Ancient is Surprised
   Chapter XXXII. How We Set Out for Burnham Hall
   Chapter XXXIII. In Which I Fall from Folly into Madness
   Chapter XXXIV. In Which I Find Peace and Joy and an Abiding Sorrow
   Chapter XXXV. How Black George Found Prudence in the Dawn
   Chapter XXXVI. Which Sympathizes with a Brass Jack, a Brace of Cutlasses, and Divers Pots and Pans
   Chapter XXXVII. The Preacher
   Chapter XXXVIII. In Which I Meet My Cousin, Sir Maurice Vibart
   Chapter XXXIX. How I Went Down into the Shadows
   Chapter XL. How, in Place of Death, I Found the Fulness of Life
   Chapter XLI. Light and Shadow
   Chapter XLII. How Sir Maurice Kept His Word
   Chapter XLIII. How I Set Out to Face My Destiny
   Chapter XLIV. The Bow Street Runners
   Chapter XLV. Which Concerns Itself, Among Other Matters, with the Boots of the Saturnine Jeremy
   Chapter XLVI. How I Came to London
   Chapter XLVII. In Which this History is Ended