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Mike
Chapter XXV. Marching Orders
P.G.Wodehouse
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       A silence followed. To Mike, lying in bed, holding his breath, it seemed a long silence. As a matter of fact it lasted for perhaps ten seconds. Then Mr. Wain spoke.
       "You have been out, James?"
       It is curious how in the more dramatic moments of life the inane remark is the first that comes to us.
       "Yes, sir," said Wyatt.
       "I am astonished. Exceedingly astonished."
       "I got a bit of a start myself," said Wyatt.
       "I shall talk to you in my study. Follow me there."
       "Yes, sir."
       He left the room, and Wyatt suddenly began to chuckle.
       "I say, Wyatt!" said Mike, completely thrown off his balance by the events of the night.
       Wyatt continued to giggle helplessly. He flung himself down on his bed, rolling with laughter. Mike began to get alarmed.
       "It's all right," said Wyatt at last, speaking with difficulty. "But, I say, how long had he been sitting there?"
       "It seemed hours. About an hour, I suppose, really."
       "It's the funniest thing I've ever struck. Me sweating to get in quietly, and all the time him camping out on my bed!"
       "But look here, what'll happen?"
       Wyatt sat up.
       "That reminds me. Suppose I'd better go down."
       "What'll he do, do you think?"
       "Ah, now, what!"
       "But, I say, it's awful. What'll happen?"
       "That's for him to decide. Speaking at a venture, I should say----"
       "You don't think----?"
       "The boot. The swift and sudden boot. I shall be sorry to part with you, but I'm afraid it's a case of 'Au revoir, my little Hyacinth.' We shall meet at Philippi. This is my Moscow. To-morrow I shall go out into the night with one long, choking sob. Years hence a white-haired bank-clerk will tap at your door when you're a prosperous professional cricketer with your photograph in Wisden. That'll be me. Well, I suppose I'd better go down. We'd better all get to bed some time to-night. Don't go to sleep."
       "Not likely."
       "I'll tell you all the latest news when I come back. Where are me slippers? Ha, 'tis well! Lead on, then, minions. I follow."
       * * * * *
       In the study Mr. Wain was fumbling restlessly with his papers when Wyatt appeared.
       "Sit down, James," he said.
       Wyatt sat down. One of his slippers fell off with a clatter. Mr. Wain jumped nervously.
       "Only my slipper," explained Wyatt. "It slipped."
       Mr. Wain took up a pen, and began to tap the table.
       "Well, James?"
       Wyatt said nothing.
       "I should be glad to hear your explanation of this disgraceful matter."
       "The fact is----" said Wyatt.
       "Well?"
       "I haven't one, sir."
       "What were you doing out of your dormitory, out of the house, at that hour?"
       "I went for a walk, sir."
       "And, may I inquire, are you in the habit of violating the strictest school rules by absenting yourself from the house during the night?"
       "Yes, sir."
       "What?"
       "Yes, sir."
       "This is an exceedingly serious matter."
       Wyatt nodded agreement with this view.
       "Exceedingly."
       The pen rose and fell with the rapidity of the cylinder of a motor-car. Wyatt, watching it, became suddenly aware that the thing was hypnotising him. In a minute or two he would be asleep.
       "I wish you wouldn't do that, father. Tap like that, I mean. It's sending me to sleep."
       "James!"
       "It's like a woodpecker."
       "Studied impertinence----"
       "I'm very sorry. Only it was sending me off."
       Mr. Wain suspended tapping operations, and resumed the thread of his discourse.
       "I am sorry, exceedingly, to see this attitude in you, James. It is not fitting. It is in keeping with your behaviour throughout. Your conduct has been lax and reckless in the extreme. It is possible that you imagine that the peculiar circumstances of our relationship secure you from the penalties to which the ordinary boy----"
       "No, sir."
       "I need hardly say," continued Mr. Wain, ignoring the interruption, "that I shall treat you exactly as I should treat any other member of my house whom I had detected in the same misdemeanour."
       "Of course," said Wyatt, approvingly.
       "I must ask you not to interrupt me when I am speaking to you, James. I say that your punishment will be no whit less severe than would be that of any other boy. You have repeatedly proved yourself lacking in ballast and a respect for discipline in smaller ways, but this is a far more serious matter. Exceedingly so. It is impossible for me to overlook it, even were I disposed to do so. You are aware of the penalty for such an action as yours?"
       "The sack," said Wyatt laconically.
       "It is expulsion. You must leave the school. At once."
       Wyatt nodded.
       "As you know, I have already secured a nomination for you in the London and Oriental Bank. I shall write to-morrow to the manager asking him to receive you at once----"
       "After all, they only gain an extra fortnight of me."
       "You will leave directly I receive his letter. I shall arrange with the headmaster that you are withdrawn privately----"
       "Not the sack?"
       "Withdrawn privately. You will not go to school to-morrow. Do you understand? That is all. Have you anything to say?"
       Wyatt reflected.
       "No, I don't think----"
       His eye fell on a tray bearing a decanter and a syphon.
       "Oh, yes," he said. "Can't I mix you a whisky and soda, father, before I go off to bed?"
       * * * * *
       "Well?" said Mike.
       Wyatt kicked off his slippers, and began to undress.
       "What happened?"
       "We chatted."
       "Has he let you off?"
       "Like a gun. I shoot off almost immediately. To-morrow I take a well-earned rest away from school, and the day after I become the gay young bank-clerk, all amongst the ink and ledgers."
       Mike was miserably silent.
       "Buck up," said Wyatt cheerfully. "It would have happened anyhow in another fortnight. So why worry?"
       Mike was still silent. The reflection was doubtless philosophic, but it failed to comfort him.
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本书目录

Chapter I. Mike
Chapter II. The Journey Down
Chapter III. Mike Finds a Friendly Native
Chapter IV. At the Nets
Chapter V. Revelry by Night
Chapter VI. In Which a Tight Corner is Evaded
Chapter VII. In Which Mike is Discussed
Chapter VIII. A Row with the Town
Chapter IX. Before the Storm
Chapter X. The Great Picnic
Chapter XI. The Conclusion of the Picnic
Chapter XII. Mike Gets His Chance
Chapter XIII. The M.C.C. Match
Chapter XIV. A Slight Imbroglio
Chapter XV. Mike Creates a Vacancy
Chapter XVI. An Expert Examination
Chapter XVII. Another Vacancy
Chapter XVIII. Bob Has News to Impart
Chapter XIX. Mike Goes to Sleep Again
Chapter XX. The Team is Filled Up
Chapter XXI. Marjory the Frank
Chapter XXII. Wyatt is Reminded of an Engagement
Chapter XXIII. A Surprise for Mr. Appleby
Chapter XXIV. Caught
Chapter XXV. Marching Orders
Chapter XXVI. The Aftermath
Chapter XXVII. The Ripton Match
Chapter XXVIII. Mike Wins Home
Chapter XXIX. Wyatt Again
Chapter XXX. Mr. Jackson Makes Up His Mind
Chapter XXXI. Sedleigh
Chapter XXXII. Psmith
Chapter XXXIII. Staking Out a Claim
Chapter XXXIV. Guerrilla Warfare
Chapter XXXV. Unpleasantness in the Small Hours
Chapter XXXVI. Adair
Chapter XXXVII. Mike Finds Occupation
Chapter XXXVIII. The Fire Brigade Meeting
Chapter XXXIX. Achilles Leaves His Tent
Chapter XL. The Match with Downing's
Chapter XLI. The Singular Behaviour of Jellicoe
Chapter XLII. Jellicoe Goes on the Sick-List
Chapter XLIII. Mike Receives a Commission
Chapter XLIV. And Fulfils It
Chapter XLV. Pursuit
Chapter XLVI. The Decoration of Sammy
Chapter XLVII. Mr. Downing on the Scent
Chapter XLVIII. The Sleuth-Hound
Chapter XLIX. A Check
Chapter L. The Destroyer of Evidence
Chapter LI. Mainly About Boots
Chapter LII. On the Trail Again
Chapter LIII. The Kettle Method
Chapter LIV. Adair Has a Word with Mike
Chapter LV. Clearing the Air
Chapter LVI. In Which Peace is Declared
Chapter LVII. Mr. Downing Moves
Chapter LVIII. The Artist Claims His Work
Chapter LIX. Sedleigh v. Wrykyn