A field near Windsor
Enter CAIUS and RUGBY CAIUS Jack Rugby!
RUGBY Sir?
CAIUS Vat is de clock, Jack?
RUGBY 'Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promis'd to
meet.
CAIUS By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no come; he has
pray his Pible well dat he is no come; by gar, Jack Rugby,
he is dead already, if he be come.
RUGBY He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill
him if he came.
CAIUS By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take
your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
RUGBY Alas, sir, I cannot fence!
CAIUS Villainy, take your rapier.
RUGBY Forbear; here's company.
Enter HOST, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE HOST Bless thee, bully doctor!
SHALLOW Save you, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE Now, good Master Doctor!
SLENDER Give you good morrow, sir.
CAIUS Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
HOST To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy
punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant.
Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha,
bully! What says my Aesculapius? my Galen? my heart
of elder? Ha! is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
CAIUS By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de world; he is
not show his face.
HOST Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal. Hector of Greece,
my boy!
CAIUS I pray you, bear witness that me have stay six or
seven, two tree hours for him, and he is no come.
SHALLOW He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer
of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight,
you go against the hair of your professions. Is it not true,
Master Page?
PAGE Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter,
though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old, and
of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make
one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen,
Master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are
the sons of women, Master Page.
PAGE 'Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor
CAIUS, I come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace;
you have show'd yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh
hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You
must go with me, Master Doctor.
HOST Pardon, Guest Justice. A word, Mounseur Mockwater.
CAIUS Mock-vater! Vat is dat?
HOST Mockwater, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.
CAIUS By gar, then I have as much mockvater as de Englishman.
Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.
HOST He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
CAIUS Clapper-de-claw! Vat is dat?
HOST That is, he will make thee amends.
CAIUS By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for,
by gar, me vill have it.
HOST And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
CAIUS Me tank you for dat.
HOST And, moreover, bully-but first:
[Aside to the others] Master Guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender,
go you through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE [Aside] Sir Hugh is there, is he?
HOST [Aside] He is there. See what humour he is in; and
I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
SHALLOW [Aside] We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and
SLENDER Adieu, good Master Doctor.
Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER CAIUS By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-
an-ape to Anne Page.
HOST Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water
on thy choler; go about the fields with me through Frogmore;
I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a a
farm-house, a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried
game! Said I well?
CAIUS By gar, me dank you vor dat; by gar, I love you; and
I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de
lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
HOST For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne
Page. Said I well?
CAIUS By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
HOST Let us wag, then.
CAIUS Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
Exeunt