_ XLII
It took a good deal of explaining, however, to make Ted understand. He was still tightly bound, though very angrily conscious when they found him and his language when Oliver removed the improvised gag was at first of such an army variety that Oliver wondered doubtfully if he hadn't better replace it until he got Ted alone. Also Oliver was forced to curse himself rather admiringly for the large number of unnecessary knots he had used, when he started to unravel his captive.
When they finally got him completely untangled Ted's first remarks were hardly those of gratitude. He declared sulkily that his head felt as if it were going to split open, that he must have a bump on the back of it as big as a squash and that it wasn't Oliver's fault if he hadn't caught pneumonia out on that fire-escape--the air, believe him, was
cold!
Mrs. Severance, however, and as usual, rose to the occasion and produced a bottle of witch-hazel from the bathroom with which she insisted on bathing the bump till Ted remarked disgruntledly that he smelt like a hospital. Oliver watched the domestic scene with frantic laughter tearing at his vitals--this was so entirely different and unromantic an end to the evening from that from which Oliver had set out to rescue Ted like a spectacled Mr. Grundy and which Ted in his gust of madness had so bitterly and grandiosely planned.
Then they moved back into the living-room and the story was related consecutively, by Oliver with fanciful adornments, by Mrs. Severance with a chill self-satisfaction that Oliver noticed with pleasure was like touching icicles to Ted. Ted gave his version--which only amounted to waking up on the fire-escape, trying to shout and succeeding merely in getting mouthfuls of towels--Oliver preened himself a little there--and lying there stoically and getting more and more furious until he was rescued. And while he told it he kept looking everywhere in the room but at Rose. And then Oliver remembered Mr. Piper and looked at his watch--11.04. He rose and gazed at Mrs. Severance.
"Well," he said, and then caught her eye. It was chilly, doubtless, and even by Oliver's unconventional standards he could not think of her as anything but a highly dangerous and disreputable woman--but that eye was alive with an irony and humor that seemed to him for a moment more perfect than those in any person he had ever seen. "
Must you go?" she said sweetly. "It's been
such an interesting party--so
original," she hesitated. "Isn't that the word? Of course," she shrugged, "I can see that you're simply dying to get away and yet you can hardly complain that I haven't been an entertaining hostess, can you?"
"Hardly," said Oliver meekly, and Ted said nothing--he merely looked down as if his eyes were augers and his only concern in life was screwing them into the floor.
"
Must you go?" she repeated with merciless mocking. "When it
has been fun--and I don't suppose we'll ever see each other again in all our lives? For I can hardly come out to Melgrove now, can I, Oliver? And after you've had a quiet brotherly talk with her, I suppose I'll even have to give up lunching with Louise. And as for Ted--poor Ted--poor Mr. Billett with all his decorations of the Roller Towel, First Class--Mr. Billett must be a child that has been far too well burnt this evening, not, in any imaginable future to dread the fire?"
Both flushed, Ted deeper perhaps than Oliver, but neither answered. There really did not seem to be anything for them to say. She moved gently toward the door--the ideal hostess. And as she moved she talked and every word she said was a light little feathered barb that fell on them softly as snowflakes and stuck like tar.
"I hope you won't mind if I send you wedding presents--both of you--oh, of course I'll be quite anonymous but it will be such a pleasure--if you'll both of you only marry nice homey girls!" Ted started at this as if he had been walking barefoot and had stepped on a wasp and she caught him instantly.
"Dear, dear, so Mr. Billett has serious intentions also--and I thought a little while ago that I was really in Mr. Billett's confidence--it only shows how little one can tell. As for Oliver, he of course is blighted--at present--but I'm sure that that will not last very long--one always finds most adequate consolation sooner or later though possibly not in the way in which one originally supposed." She sighed elfinly as Oliver muttered under his breath.
"What was that, Oliver? Oh, no, I am not at all the sort of person that writes anonymous letters to one's wife--or family--or sister," a spaced little pause between each noun. "And besides it wouldn't be much use in me, would it? for of course you young gentlemen will tell the young ladies you marry
everything about yourselves--all honorable young people do. And then too," she spread out her hands, "to be frank. We've all been so beautifully frank about ourselves tonight--that's one thing I
have liked so much about the evening--well, it would hardly be worth my while to take lessons in blackmailing from Elizabeth if the only subjects on which I could apply them were two impecunious young men. And, oh, I realize most perfectly--and please don't misunderstand me!--that we're all of us thieves together so to speak and only getting along on each other's sufferance. But then, if one of us ever starts telling, even a little, he or she can hardly do so in any way that will redound to anything but his or her discredit and social obliteration--how nicely I've put that!--so I don't think any of us will be very anxious to tell.
"
Good-by, Mr. Billett--and when you do marry, please send me an invitation--oh I shan't come, I've been far too well brought-up--but I must send--appreciations--and so must have the address. We have had a pleasant acquaintanceship together, haven't we?--perhaps a little more pleasant on my side than on yours--but even so it's
so nice to think that nothing has ever happened that either of us could really regret.
"Just remember that the only person I could incriminate you to would be Mr. Piper, and not even there very much, due to Sargent's melodramatic appearance in the middle of dinner. But I shan't even there--it would mean incriminating myself a little too much too, don't you know? and even if the apartment here does get a trifle lonely one evening and another, I have got to be extraordinarily fond of it and I couldn't have nearly as nice a one--or as competent an Elizabeth--on what they pay me on 'Mode.' So I'll keep it, I think, if you don't mind.
"But that may make you a little more comfortable when you think things over--and I'm sure we all deserve to be very comfortable indeed for quite a long while after the very trying time we've just been through.
"
Good-by, and I assure you that even if I shall never be able to think of you in the future except as all wrapped up in the middle of those absurd towels, I shall think of you quite kindly though rather ridiculously nevertheless. And now if you will just run away a minute and wait down in that car of Sargent's that Oliver--borrowed--so effectively--because I must have one motherly word with Oliver alone before we part forever! Thank you so
much!
Good-by!" _