_ CHAPTER SEVEN. MR. BRUFF'S PRESENT
That boating trip formed a topic of conversation in the study morning after morning when the rector was not present--a peculiar form of conversation when Distin was there--which was not regularly, for the accident on the river served as an excuse for several long stays in bed--but a free and unfettered form when he was not present. For Macey soon freed Vane from any feeling of an irksome nature by insisting to Gilmore how he had been to blame.
Gilmore looked very serious at first, but laughed directly after.
"I really thought it was an accident," he said; "and I felt the more convinced that it was on hearing poor old hot-headed Distie accuse you, Vane, because, of course, I knew you would not do such a thing; and I thought Macey blamed himself to save you."
"Thought me a better sort of fellow than I am, then," said Macey.
"Much," replied Gilmore, quietly. "You couldn't see old Weathercock trying to drown all his friends."
"I didn't," cried Macey, indignantly. "I only wanted to give Distie a cooling down."
"And nicely you did it," cried Gilmore.
"There, don't talk any more about it," cried Vane, who was busy sketching upon some exercise paper. "It's all over, and doesn't bear thinking about."
"What's he doing?" cried Macey, reaching across the table, and making a snatch at the paper, which Vane tried hurriedly to withdraw, but only saved a corner, while Macey waved his portion in triumph.
"Hoo-rah!" he cried. "It's a plan for a new patent steamboat, and I shall make one, and gain a fortune, while poor old Vane will be left out in the cold."
"Let's look," said Gilmore.
"No, no. It's too bad," cried Vane, making a fresh dash at the paper.
"Shan't have it, sir! Sit down," cried Macey. "How dare you, sir! Look, Gil! It is a boat to go by steam, with a whipper-whopper out at the stern to send her along."
"I wish you wouldn't be so stupid, Aleck. Give me the paper."
"Shan't."
"I don't want to get up and make a struggle for it."
"I should think not, sir. Sit still. Oh, I say, Gil, look. Here it all is. It's not steam. It's a fellow with long arms and queer elbows turns a wheel."
"Get out!" cried Vane, laughing; "those are shafts and cranks."
"Of course they are. No one would think it, though, would they, Gil? I say, isn't he a genius at drawing?"
"Look here, Aleck, if you don't be quiet with your chaff I'll ink your nose."
"Wonderful, isn't he?" continued Macey. "I say, how many hundred miles an hour a boat like that will go!"
"Oh, I say, do drop it," cried Vane, good-humouredly.
"I know," cried Macey; "this is what you were thinking about that day we had Rounds' boat."
"Well, yes," said Vane, quietly. "I couldn't help thinking how slow and laborious rowing seemed to be, and how little change has been made in all these years that are passed. You see," he continued, warming to his subject, "there is so much waste of manual labour. It took two of us to move that boat and not very fast either."
"And only one sitting quite still to upset it," said Gilmore quietly.
Macey started, as if he had been stung.
"There's a coward," he cried. "I thought you weren't going to say any more about it."
"Slipped out all at once, Aleck," said Gilmore.
"But you were quite right," said Vane. "Two fellows toiling hard, and just one idea from another's brain proved far stronger."
"Now you begin," groaned Macey. "Oh, I say, don't! I wouldn't have old Distie know for anything. You chaps are mean."
"Go on, Vane," cried Gilmore.
"There's nothing more to go on about, for I haven't worked out the idea thoroughly."
"I know," cried Macey, with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
"I thought," continued Vane dreamily, "that one might contrive a little paddle or screw--"
"And work it with hot-water pipes," cried Macey.
It was Vane's turn to wince now; and he made a pretence of throwing a book at Macey, who ducked down below the table, and then slowly raised his eyes to the level as Vane went on.
"Then you could work that paddle by means of cranks."
"Only want one--old Weathercock. Best crank I know," cried Macey.
"Will you be quiet," cried Gilmore. "Go on, Vane."
"That is nearly all," said the latter, thoughtfully, and looking straight before him, as if he could see the motive-power he mentally designed.
"But how are you going to get the thing to work?"
"Kitchen-boiler," cried Macey.
Gilmore made "an offer" at him with his fist, but Macey dodged again.
"Oh, one might move it by working a lever with one's hands."
"Then you might just as well row," said Gilmore.
"Well, then, by treadles, with one's feet."
"Oh--oh--oh!" roared Macey. "Don't! don't! Who's going to be put on the tread-mill when he wants to have a ride in a boat? Why, I--"
"Pst! Syme!" whispered Gilmore, as a step was heard. Then the door opened, and Distin came in, looking languid and indifferent.
"Morning," cried Gilmore. "Better?"
Distin gave him a short nod, paid no heed to the others, and went to his place to take up a book, yawning loudly as he did so. Then he opened the book slowly.
"Look!" cried Macey, with a mock aspect of serious interest.
"Eh? What at?" said Vane.
"The book," cried Macey; and then he yawned tremendously. "Oh, dear! I've got it now."
Vane stared.
"Don't you see? You, being a scientific chap, ought to have noticed it directly. Example of the contagious nature of a yawn."
Oddly enough, Gilmore yawned slightly just at the moment, and, putting his hand to his mouth, said to himself, "Oh, dear me!"
"There!" cried Macey, triumphantly, "that theory's safe. Distie comes in, sits down, yawns; then the book yawns, I yawn, Gilmore yawns. You might, could, would, or should yawn, only you don't, and--"
"Good-morning, gentlemen. I'm a bit late, I fear. Had a little walk after breakfast, and ran against Doctor Lee, who took me in to see his greenhouse. He tells me you are going to heat it by hot-water. Why, Vane, you are quite a genius."
Macey reached out a leg to kick Vane under the table, but it was Distin's shin which received the toe of the lad's boot, just as Gilmore moved suddenly.
Distin uttered a sharp ejaculation, and looked fiercely across at Gilmore.
"What did you do that for?" he cried.
"What?"
"Kick me under the table."
"I did not."
"Yes, you--"
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," cried the rector reprovingly, "this is not a small boarding-school, and you are not school-boys. I was speaking."
"I beg your pardon, sir," cried Gilmore.
Distin was silent, and Macey, who was scarlet in the face; glanced across at Vane, and seemed as if he were going to choke with suppressed laughter, while Vane fidgeted about in his seat.
The rector frowned, coughed, changed his position, smiled, and went on, going back a little to pick up his words where he had left off.
"Quite a genius, Vane--yes, I repeat it, quite a genius."
"Oh, no, sir; it will be easy enough."
"After once doing, Vane," said the rector, "but the first invention--the contriving--is, I beg to say, hard. However, I am intensely gratified to see that you are putting your little--little--little--what shall I call them?"
"Dodges, sir," suggested Macey, deferentially.
"No, Mr Macey, that is too commonplace--too low a term for the purpose, and we will, if you please, say schemes."
"Yes, sir," said Macey, seriously--"schemes."
"Schemes to so useful a purpose," continued the rector; "and I shall ask you to superintend the fitting up of my conservatory upon similar principles."
"Really, sir, I--" began Vane; but the rector smiled and raised a protesting hand.
"Don't refuse me, Vane," he said. "Of course I shall beg that you do not attempt any of the manual labour--merely superintend; but I shall exact one thing, if you consent to do it for me. That is, if the one at the manor succeeds."
"Of course I will do it, if you wish, sir," said Vane.
"I felt sure you would. I said so to your uncle, and your aunt said she was certain you would," continued the rector; "but, as I was saying, I shall exact one thing: as my cook is a very particular woman, and would look startled if I even proposed to go into the kitchen--"
He paused, and Vane, who was in misery, glanced at Macey--to see that he was thoroughly enjoying it all, while Distin's countenance expressed the most sovereign contempt.
"I say, Vane Lee," said the rector again, as if he expected an answer, "I shall exact one thing."
"Yes, sir. What?"
"That the rule of the queen of the kitchen be respected; but--ah, let me see, Mr Distin, I think we were to take up the introductory remarks made on the differential calculus."
And the morning's study at the rectory went on.
"Best bit of fun I've had for a long time," cried Macey, as he strolled out with Vane when the readings were at an end.
"Yes, at my expense," cried Vane sharply. "My leg hurts still with that kick."
"Oh, that's nothing," cried Macey; "I kicked old Distie twice as hard by mistake, and he's wild with Gilmore because he thinks it's he."
Vane gripped him by the collar.
"No, no, don't. I apologise," cried Macey. "Don't be a coward."
"You deserve a good kicking," cried Vane, loosing his grasp.
"Yes, I know I do, but be magnanimous in your might, oh man of genius."
"Look here," cried Vane, grinding his teeth, "if you call me a genius again, I will kick you, and hard too."
"But I must. My mawmaw said I was always to speak the truth, sir."
"Yes, and I'll make you speak the truth, too. Such nonsense! Genius! Just because one can use a few tools, and scheme a little. It's absurd."
"All right. I will not call you a genius any more. But I say, old chap, shall you try and make a boat go by machinery?"
"I should like to," said Vane, who became dreamy and thoughtful directly. "But I have no boat."
"Old Rounds would lend you his. There was a jolly miller lived down by the Greythorpe river," sang Macey.
"Nonsense! He wouldn't lend me his boat to cut about."
"Sell it you."
Vane shook his head. "Cost too much."
"Then, why cut it? You ought to be able to make a machine that would fit into a boat with screws, or be stuck like a box under the thwarts."
"Yes, so I might. I didn't think of that," cried Vane, eagerly. "I'll try it."
"There," said Macey, "that comes of having a clever chap at your elbow like yours most obediently. Halves!"
"Eh?"
"I say, halves! I invented part of the machine, and I want to share. But when are you going to begin old Syme's conservatory?"
"Oh, dear!" sighed Vane. "I'd forgotten that. Come along. Let's try and think out the paddles as you propose. I fancy one might get something like a fish's tail to propel a boat."
"What, by just waggling?"
"It seems to me to be possible."
"Come on, and let's do it then," cried Macey, starting to trot along the road. "I want to get the taste of Distin out of my mouth.--I say--"
"Well?"
"Don't I wish his mother wanted him so badly that he was obliged to go back to the West Indies at once.--Hallo! Going to the wood?"
"Yes, I don't mean to be beaten over those fungi we had the other day," cried Vane; and to prove that he did not, he inveigled Macey into accompanying him into the woods that afternoon, to collect another basketful--his companion assisting by nutting overhead, while Vane busied himself among the moss at the roots of the hazel stubs.
"Going to have those for supper?" said Macey, as they were returning.
Vane shook his head. "I suppose I mustn't take these home to-day after all."
"Look here, come on with me to the rectory, and give 'em to Mr Syme."
"Pooh!--Why, he laughed at them."
"But you can tell him you had some for dinner at the Little Manor. I won't say anything."
"I've a good mind to, for I've read that they are delicious if properly cooked," cried Vane. "No, I don't like to. But I should like to give them to someone, for I don't care to see them wasted."
"Do bring them to the rectory, and I'll coax Distie on into eating some. He will not know they are yours; and, if they upset him, he will not be of so much consequence as any one else."
But Vane shook his head as they walked thoughtfully back.
"I know," he cried, all at once; "I'll give them to Mrs Bruff."
"But would she cook them?"
"Let's go and see. What time is it?"
"Half-past four," said Macey.
"Plenty of time before he gets home from work."
Vane started off at such a rate that Macey had to cry out for respite as they struck out of the wood, and reached a lane where, to their surprise, they came plump upon the gipsies camped by the roadside, with a good fire burning, and their miserable horse cropping the grass in peace.
The first objects their eyes lit upon were the women who were busily cooking; and Vane advanced and offered his basket of vegetable treasures, but they all laughed and shook their heads, and the oldest woman of the party grunted out the word "poison."
"There," said Macey, as they went along the lane, "you hear. They ought to know whether those are good or no. If they were nice, do you think the gipsies would let them rot in the woods."
"But, you see, they don't know," said Vane quietly, and then he gripped his companion's arm. "What's that?" he whispered.
"Some one talking in the wood."
"Poaching perhaps," said Vane, as he peered in amongst the trees.
Just then the voice ceased, and there was a rustling in amongst the bushes at the edge of the wood, as if somebody was forcing his way through, and resulting in one of the gipsy lads they had before seen, leaping out into the narrow deep lane, followed by the other.
The lads seemed to be so astonished at the encounter that they stood staring at Vane and Macey for a few moments, then looked at each other, and then, as if moved by the same impulse, they turned and rushed back into the wood, and were hidden from sight directly.
"What's the matter with them?" said Vane. "They must have been at some mischief."
"Mad, I think," said Macey. "All gipsies are half mad, or they wouldn't go about, leading such a miserable life as they do. Song says a gipsy's life is a merry life. Oh, is it? Nice life in wet, cold weather. They don't look very merry, then."
"Never mind: it's nothing to do with us. Come along."
Half-an-hour's walking brought them into the open fields, and as they stood at the end of the lane in the shade of an oak tree, Macey said suddenly:
"I say, there's old Distie yonder. Where has he been? Bet twopence it was to see the gipsies and get his fortune told."
"For a walk as far as here, perhaps, and now he is going back."
Macey said it "seemed rum," and they turned off then to reach Bruff's cottage, close to the little town.
"I don't see anything rum in it," Vane said, quietly.
"Don't you? Well, I do. Gilmore was stopping back to keep him company, wasn't he? Well, where is Gilmore? And why is Distie cutting along so--at such a rate?"
Vane did not reply, and Macey turned to look at him wonderingly.
"Here! Hi! What's the matter?"
Vane started.
"Matter?" he said, "nothing."
"What were you thinking about? Inventing something?"
"Oh, no," said Vane, confusedly. "Well, I was thinking about something I was making."
"Thought so. Well, I am glad I'm not such a Hobby-Bob sort of a fellow as you are. Syme says you're a bit of a genius, ever since you made his study clock go; but you're the worst bowler, batter, and fielder I know; you're not worth twopence at football; and if one plays at anything else with you--spins a top, or flies a kite, or anything of that kind--you're never satisfied without wanting to make the kite carry up a load, or making one top spin on the top of another, and--"
"Take me altogether, I'm the most cranky, disagreeable fellow you ever knew, eh?" said Vane, interrupting.
"Show me anyone who says so, and I'll punch his head," cried Macey, eagerly.
"There he goes. No; he's out of sight now."
"What, old Distie? Pooh! he's nobody, only a creole, and don't count."
The gardener's cottage stood back from the road; its porch covered with roses, and the little garden quite a blaze of autumn flowers; and as they reached it, Vane paused for a moment to admire them.
"Hallo!" cried Macey, "going to improve 'em?"
"They don't want it," said Vane, quietly. "I was thinking that you always see better flowers in cottage gardens than anywhere else."
At that moment the gardener's wife came to the door, smiling at her visitors, and Vane recollected the object of his visit.
"I've brought you these, Mrs Bruff," he said.
"Toadstools, sir?" said the woman, opening her eyes widely.
"No; don't call them by that name," cried Macey, merrily; "they're philogustators."
"Kind of potaters, sir?" said the woman, innocently. "Are they for Eben to grow?"
"No, for you to cook for his tea. Don't say anything, but stew them with a little water and butter, pepper and salt."
"Oh, thank you, sir," cried the woman. "Are they good?"
"Delicious, if you cook them well."
"Indeed I will, sir. Thank you so much."
She took the basket, and wanted to pay for the present with some flowers, but the lads would only take a rosebud each, and went their way, to separate at the turning leading to the rectory gate. _