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Unspeakable Perk, The
CHAPTER II - AT THE KAST
Samuel Hopkins Adams
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       _ One dines at the Gran Hotel Kast after the fashion of a champignon
       sous cloche. The top of the cloche is of fluted glass, with a wide
       aperture between it and the sides, to admit the rain in the wet
       season and the flies in the dry. Three balconies run up from the
       dining-room well to this roof, and upon these, as near to the
       railings as they choose, the rather conglomerate patronage of the
       place sleeps, takes baths, dresses, gossips, makes love, quarrels,
       and exchanges prophecies as to next Sunday's bullfight, while the
       diners below strive to select from the bill of fare special
       morsels upon which they will stake their internal peace for the
       day. No cabaret can hold a candle to it for variety of interest.
       When the sudden torrential storms sweep down the mountains at meal
       times, the little human champignons, beneath their insufficient
       cloche, rush about wildly seeking spots where the drippage will
       not wash their food away. Commercial travelers of the tropics have
       a saying: "There are worse hotels in the world than the Kast--but
       why take the trouble?" And, year upon year, they return there for
       reasons connected with the other hostelries of Caracuna, which I
       forbear to specify.
       To Miss Polly Brewster, the Kast was a place of romance. Five
       miles away, as the buzzard flies, she could have dined well, even
       elegantly, on the Brewster yacht. Would she have done it? Not for
       worlds! Miss Brewster was entranced by the courtly manners of her
       waiter, who had lost one ear and no small part of the countenance
       adjacent thereto, only too obviously through the agency of some
       edged instrument not wielded in the arts of peace. She was further
       delightedly intrigued by the abrupt appearance of a romantic-hued
       gentleman, who thrust out over the void from the second balcony an
       anguished face, one side of which was profusely lathered, and
       addressed to all the hierarchy of heaven above, and the peoples of
       the earth beneath, a passionate protest upon the subject of a
       cherished and vanished shaving brush; what time, below, the head
       waiter was hastily removing from sight, though not from memory, a
       soup tureen whose agitated surface bore a creamy froth not of a
       lacteal origin. One may not with impunity balance personal
       implements upon the too tremulous rails of the ancient Kast.
       With an appreciative and glowing eye, Miss Brewster read from her
       mimeographed bill of fare such legends as "ropa con carne,"
       "bacalao seco," "enchiladas," and meantime devoured chechenaca,
       which, had it been translated into its just and simple English of
       "hash," she would not have given to her cat.
       Nor did her visual and prandial preoccupations inhibit her from a
       lively interest in the surrounding Babel of speech in mingled
       Spanish, Dutch, German, English, Italian, and French, all at the
       highest pitch, for a few rods away the cathedral bells were
       saluting Heaven with all the clangor and din of the other place,
       and only the strident of voice gained any heed in that contest.
       Even after the bells paused, the habit of effort kept the voices
       up. Miss Brewster, dining with her father a few hours after her
       return from the mountain, absolved her conscience from any intent
       of eavesdropping in overhearing the talk of the table to the right
       of her. The remark that first fixed her attention was in English,
       of the super-British patois.
       "Can't tell wot the blighter might look like behind those bloomin'
       brown glasses."
       "But he's not bothersome to any one," suggested a second speaker,
       in a slightly foreign accent. "He regards his own affairs."
       "Right you are, bo!" approved a tall, deeply browned man of
       thirty, all sinewy angles, who, from the shoulders up, suggested
       nothing so much as a club with a gnarled knob on the end of it, a
       tough, reliable, hardwood club, capable of dealing a stiff blow in
       an honest cause. "If he deals in conversation, he must SELL it. I
       don't notice him giving any of it away."
       "He gave some to Kast the last time he dined here," observed a
       languid and rather elegant elderly man, who occupied the fourth
       side of the table. "Mine host didn't like it."
       "I should suppose Senior Kast would be hardened," remarked the
       young Caracunan who had defended the absent.
       "Our eyeglassed friend scored for once, though. They had just
       served him the usual table-d'hote salad--you know, two leaves of
       lettuce with a caterpillar on one. Kast happened to be passing.
       Our friend beckoned him over. 'A little less of the fauna and more
       of the flora, Senior Kast,' said he in that gritty, scientific
       voice of his. I really thought Kast was going to forget his Swiss
       blood, and chase a whole peso of custom right out of the place."
       "If you ask me, I think the blighter is barmy," asserted the
       Briton.
       "Well, I'll ask you," proffered the elegant one kindly. "Why do
       you consider him 'barmy,' as you put it?"
       "When I first saw him here and heard him speak to the waiter, I
       knew him for an American Johnny at once, and I went, directly I'd
       finished my soup, and sat down at his table. The friendly touch,
       y' know. 'I say,' I said to him, 'I don't know you, but I heard
       you speak, and I knew at once you were one of these Americans--
       tell you at once by the beastly queer accent, you know. You are an
       American, ay--wot?' Wot d' you suppose the blighter said? He
       said, 'No, I'm an ichthyo'--somethin' or other--"
       "Ichthyosaurus, perhaps," supplied the Caracunuan, smiling.
       "That's it, whatever it may be. 'I'm an ichthyosaurus,' he says.
       'It's a very old family, but most of the buttons are off. Were you
       ever bitten by one in the fossil state? Very exhilaratin', but
       poisonous,' he says. 'So don't let me keep you any longer from
       your dinner.' Of course, I saw then that he was a wrong un, so I
       cut him dead, and walked away."
       "Served him right," declared the elderly American, with a solemn
       twinkle directed at the tall brown man, who, having opened his
       mouth, now thought better of it, and closed it again, with a grin.
       "But he is very kind," said the native. "When my brother fell and
       broke his arm on the mountain, this gentleman found him, took care
       of him, and brought him in on muleback."
       "Lives up there somewhere, doesn't he, Mr. Raimonda?" asked the
       big man.
       "In the quinta of a deserted plantation," replied the Caracunan.
       "Wot's he do?" asked the Englishman.
       "Ah, THAT one does not know, unless Senor Sherwen can tell us."
       "Not I," said the elderly man. "Some sort of scientific
       investigation, according to the guess of the men at the club."
       "You never can tell down here," observed the Englishman darkly.
       "Might be a blind, you know. Calls himself Perkins. Dare say it
       isn't his name at all."
       "Daughter," said Mr. Thatcher Brewster at this juncture, in a
       patient and plaintive voice, "for the fifth and last time, I
       implore you to pass me the butter, or that which purports to be
       butter, in the dish at your elbow."
       "Oh, poor dad! Forgive me! But I was overhearing some news of an--
       an acquaintance."
       "Do you know any of the gentlemen upon whose conversation you are
       eavesdropping?"
       In financial circles, Mr. Brewster was credited with the
       possession of a cold blue eye and a denatured voice of
       interrogation, but he seldom succeeded in keeping a twinkle out of
       the one and a chuckle out of the other when conversing with his
       daughter.
       "Not yet," observed that damsel calmly.
       "Meaning, I suppose I am to understand--"
       "Precisely. Haven't you noticed them looking this way? Presently
       they'll be employing all their strategy to meet me. They'll employ
       it on you."
       Mr. Brewster surveyed the group dubiously.
       "In a country such as this, one can't be too--too cau--"
       "Too particular, as you were saying," cut in his daughter
       cheerfully. "Men are scarce--except Fitzhugh, who is rather less
       scarce than I wish he were lately. You know," she added, with a
       covert glance at the adjoining table, "I wouldn't be surprised if
       you found yourself an extremely popular papa immediately after
       dinner. It might even go so far as cigars. Do you suppose that
       lovely young Caracunan is a bullfighter?"
       "No; I believe he's a coffee exporter. Less romantic, but more
       respectable. Quite one of the gilded youth of Caracuna. His name
       is Raimonda. Fitzhugh knows him. By the way, where on earth is
       Fitzhugh?"
       "Trying to fit a kind and gentlemanly expression over a swollen
       sense of injury, for a guess," replied the girl carelessly. "I
       left him in sweet and lone communion with nature three hours ago."
       "Polly, I wish--"
       "Oh, dad, dear, don't! You'll get your wish, I suppose, and Fitz,
       too. Only I don't want to be hurried. Here he is, now. Look at
       that smile! A sculptor couldn't have done any better. Now, as soon
       as he comes, I'm going to be quite nice and kind."
       But Mr. Fairfax Preston Fitzhugh Carroll did not come direct to
       the Brewster table. Instead, he stopped to greet the elderly man
       in the near-by group, and presently drew up a chair. At first,
       their conversation was low-toned, but presently the young native
       added his more vivacious accents.
       "Who can tell?" the Brewsters heard him say, and marked the
       fatalistic gesture of the upturned hands. "They disappear. One
       does not ask questions too much."
       "Not here," confirmed the big man. "Always room for a few more in
       the undersea jails, eh?"
       "Always. But I think it was not that with Basurdo. I think it was
       underground, not undersea." He brushed his neck with his finger
       tips.
       "Is it dangerous for foreigners?" asked Carroll quickly.
       "For every one," answered Sherwen; adding significantly: "But the
       Caracunan Government does not approve of loose fostering of
       rumors."
       Carroll rose and came over to the Brewsters.
       "May I bring Mr. Graydon Sherwen over and present him?" he asked.
       "I can vouch for him, having known his family at home, and--"
       "Oh, bring them all, Fitzhugh," commanded the girl.
       The exponent of Southern aristocracy looked uncomfortable.
       "As to the others," he said, "Mr. Raimonda is a native--"
       "With the manners of a prince. I've quite fallen in love with him
       already," she said wickedly.
       "Of course, if you wish it. But the other American is an ex-
       professional baseball player, named Cluff."
       "What? 'Clipper' Cluff? I knew I'd seen him before!" cried Miss
       Polly. "He got his start in the New York State League. Why, we're
       quite old friends, by sight."
       "As for Galpy, he's an underbred little cockney bounder."
       "With the most naive line of conversation I've ever listened to. I
       want all of them."
       "Let me bring Sherwen first," pleaded the suitor, and was
       presently introducing that gentleman. "Mr. Sherwen is in charge
       here of the American Legation," he explained.
       "How does one salute a real live minister?" queried Miss Brewster.
       "Don't mistake me for anything so important," said Sherwen. "We're
       not keeping a minister in stock at present. My job is being a
       superior kind of janitor until diplomatic relations are resumed."
       "Goodness! It sounds like war," said Miss Brewster hopefully. "Is
       there anything as exciting as that going on?"
       "Oh, no. Just a temporary cessation of civilities between the two
       nations. If it weren't indiscreet--"
       "Oh, do be indiscreet!" implored the girl, with clasped hands. "I
       admire indiscretion in others, and cultivate it in myself."
       Mr. Carroll looked pained, as the other laughed and said:--
       "Well, it would certainly be most undiplomatic for me to hint that
       the great and friendly nation of Hochwald, which wields more
       influence and has a larger market here than any other European
       power, has become a little jealous of the growing American trade.
       But the fact remains that the Hochwald minister and his secretary,
       Von Plaanden, who is a very able citizen when sober,--and is, of
       course, almost always sober,--have not exerted themselves
       painfully to compose the little misunderstanding between President
       Fortuno and us. The Dutch diplomats, who are not as diplomatic in
       speech as I am, would tell you, if there were any of them left
       here to tell anything, that Von Plaanden's intrigues brought on
       the present break with them. So there you have a brief, but
       reliable 'History of Our Times in the Island Republic of
       Caracuna.'"
       "Highly informative and improving to the untutored mind," Miss
       Brewster complimented him. "I like seeing the wires of empire
       pulled. More, please."
       "Perhaps you won't like the next so well," observed Carroll
       grimly. "There is bubonic plague here."
       "Oh--ah!" protested Sherwen gently. "The suspicion of plague.
       Quite a different matter."
       "Which usually turns out to be the same, doesn't it?" inquired Mr.
       Brewster.
       "Perhaps. People disappear, and one is not encouraged to ask about
       them. But then people disappear for many causes in Caracuna.
       Politics here are somewhat--well--Philadelphian in method. But--
       there is smoke rising from behind Capo Blanco."
       "What is there?" inquired the girl.
       "The lazaretto. Still, it might be yellow fever, or only smallpox.
       The Government is not generous with information. To have plague
       discovered now would be very disturbing to the worthy plans of the
       Hochwald Legation. For trade purposes, they would very much
       dislike to have the port closed for a considerable time by
       quarantine. The Dutch difficulty they can arrange when they will.
       But quarantine would bring in the United States, and that is quite
       another matter. Well, we'll see, when Dr. Pruyn gets here."
       "Who is he?" asked Carroll.
       "Special-duty man of the United States Public Health Service. The
       best man on tropical diseases and quarantine that the service has
       ever had."
       "That isn't Luther Pruyn, is it?" inquired Mr. Brewster.
       "The same. Do you know him?"
       "Yes."
       "More than I do, except by reputation."
       "He was in my class at college, but I haven't seen him since. I'd
       be glad to see him again. A queer, dry fellow, but character and
       grit to his backbone." "I'd supposed he was younger," said
       Sherwen. "Anyway, he's comparatively new to the service. His rise
       is the more remarkable. At present, he's not only our quarantine
       representative, with full powers, but unofficially he acts, while
       on his roving commission, for the British, the Dutch, the French,
       and half the South American republics. I suppose he's really the
       most important figure in the Caracuna crisis--and he hasn't even
       got here yet. Perhaps our Hochwaldian friends have captured him on
       the quiet. It would pay 'em, for if there is plague here, he'll
       certainly trail it down."
       "Oh, I'm tired of plague," announced Miss Polly. "Bring the others
       here and let's all go over to the plaza, where it's cool."
       To their open and obvious delight, exhibited jauntily by the
       Englishman, with awkward and admiring respectfulness by the ball-
       player, and with graceful ease by the handsome Caracunan, the rest
       were invited to join the party.
       "Don't let them scare you about plague, Miss Brewster," said
       Cluff, as they found their chairs. "Foreigners don't get it much."
       "Oh, I'm not afraid! But, anyway, we shouldn't have time to catch
       even a cold. We leave to-morrow."
       The men exchanged glances.
       "How?" inquired Sherwen and Raimonda in a breath.
       "In the yacht, from Puerto del Norte."
       "Not if it were a British battleship," said Galpy. "Port's
       closed."
       "What? Quarantine already?" said Carroll.
       "Quarantine be blowed! It's the Dutch."
       "I thought you knew," said Sherwen. "All the town is ringing with
       the news. It just came in to-night. Holland has declared a
       blockade until Caracuna apologizes for the interference with its
       cable."
       "And nothing can pass?" asked Mr. Brewster.
       "Nothing but an aeroplane or a submarine."
       There was a silence. Miss Polly Brewster broke it with a curious
       question:--
       "What day is day after to-morrow?"
       Several voices had answered her, but she paid little heed, for
       there had slipped over her shoulder a brown thin hand holding a
       cunningly woven closed basket of reedwork. A soft voice murmured
       something in Spanish.
       "What does he say?" asked the girl "For me?"
       "He thinks it must be for you," translated Raimonda, "from the
       description."
       "What description?"
       "He was told to go to the hotel and deliver it to the most
       beautiful lady. There could hardly be any mistaking such specific
       instructions even by an ignorant mountain peon," he added,
       smiling.
       The girl opened the curious receptacle, and breathed a little gasp
       of delight. Bedded in fern, lay a mass of long sprays aquiver with
       bells of the purest, most lucent white, each with a great glow of
       gold at its heart.
       "Ah," observed the young Caracunan, "I see that you are persona
       grata with our worthy President, Miss Brewster."
       "President Fortuno?" asked the girl, surprised. "No; not that I'm
       aware of. Why do you say that?"
       "That is his special orchid--almost the official flower. They call
       it 'the President's orchid.'"
       "Has he a monopoly of growing them?" asked Miss Brewster.
       "No one can grow them. They die when transplanted from their
       native cliffs. But it's only the President's rangers who are
       daring enough to get them."
       "Are they so inaccessible?"
       "Yes. They grow nowhere but on the cliff faces, usually in the
       wildest part of the mountains. Few people except the hunters and
       mountaineers know where, and it's only the most adventurous of
       them who go after the flowers."
       "Do you suppose this boy got these?" Miss Brewster indicated the
       shy and dusky messenger.
       Raimonda spoke to the boy for a moment.
       "No; he didn't collect them. Nor is he one of the President's men.
       I don't quite understand it."
       "Who did gather them?"
       "All that he will say is, 'the master.'"
       "Oh!" said Miss Brewster, and retired into a thoughtful silence.
       "They're very beautiful, aren't they?" continued the Caracunan.
       "And they carry a pretty sentiment."
       "Tell me," commanded the girl, emerging from her reverie.
       "The mountaineers say that their fragrance casts a spell which
       carries the thought back to the giver."
       "Is that the language of science?" she queried absently, with a
       thought far away.
       "But no, senorita, assuredly not," said the young Caracufian. "It
       is the language--permit that I say it better in French--c'est le
       langage d'amour." _