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Justice in the By-Ways, a Tale of Life
Chapter 29. In Which May Be Seen A Few Of Our Common Evils
F.Colburn Adams
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       _ CHAPTER XXIX. IN WHICH MAY BE SEEN A FEW OF OUR COMMON EVILS
       LEAVING for a time the scenes in the House of the Nine Nations, let us return to Charleston, that we may see how matters appertaining to this history are progressing. Mr. Snivel is a popular candidate for the Senate of South Carolina; and having shot his man down in the street, the question of his fighting abilities we regard as honorably settled. Madame Montford, too, has by him been kept in a state of nervous anxiety, for he has not yet found time to search in the "Poor-house for the woman Munday." All our very first, and best-known families, have dropped Madame, who is become a wet sheet on the fashionable world. A select committee of the St. Cecilia has twice considered her expulsion, while numerous very respectable and equally active old ladies have been shaking their scandal-bags at her head. Sins have been laid at her door that would indeed damage a reputation with a fairer endorsement than New York can give.
       Our city at this moment is warmed into a singular state of excitement. A Georgia editor (we regard editors as belonging to a very windy class of men), not having the mightiness of our chivalry before him, said the Union would have peace if South Carolina were shut up in a penitentiary. And for this we have invited the indiscreet gentleman to step over the border, that we may hang him, being extremely fond of such common-place amusements. What the facetious fellow meant was, that our own State would enjoy peace and prosperity were our mob-politicians all in the penitentiary. And with this sensible opinion we heartily agree.
       We regard our state of civilization as extremely enviable. To-day we made a lion of the notorious Hines, the forger. Hines, fashioning after our hapless chivalry, boasts that South Carolina is his State-his political mother. He has, nevertheless, graced with his presence no few penitentiaries. We feasted him in that same prison where we degrade and starve the honest poor; we knew him guilty of an henious crime-yet we carried him jubilantly to the "halls of justice." And while distinguished lawyers tendered their services to the "clever villain," you might have witnessed in sorrow a mock trial, and heard a mob sanction with its acclamations his release.
       Oh, truth and justice! how feeble is thy existence where the god slavery reigns. And while men are heard sounding the praises of this highwayman at the street corners, extolling men who have shot down their fellow-men in the streets, and calling those "Hon. gentlemen," who have in the most cowardly manner assassinated their opponents, let us turn to a different picture. Two genteely-dressed men are seen entering the old jail. "I have twice promised them a happy surprise," says one, whose pale, studious features, wear an expression of gentleness. The face of the other is somewhat florid, but beaming with warmth of heart. They enter, having passed up one of the long halls, a room looking into the prison-yard. Several weary-faced prisoners are seated round a deal table, playing cards; among them is the old sailor described in the early part of this history. "You don't know my friend, here?" says the young man of the studious face, addressing the prisoners, and pointing to his companion. The prisoners look inquiringly at the stranger, then shake their heads in response.
       "No, you don't know me: you never knew me when I was a man," speaks the stranger, raising his hat, as a smile lights up his features. "You don't know Tom Swiggs, the miserable inebriate--"
       A spontaneaus shout of recognition, echoing and re-echoing through the old halls, interrupts this declaration. One by one the imprisoned men grasp him by the hand, and shower upon him the warmest, the heartiest congratulations. A once fallen brother has risen to a knowledge of his own happiness. Hands that raised him from that mat of straw, when the mental man seemed lost, now welcome him restored, a purer being.
       "Ah, Spunyarn," says Tom, greeting the old sailor with child-like fondness, as the tears are seen gushing into the eyes, and coursing down the browned face of the old mariner, "I owe you a debt I fear I never can pay. I have thought of you in my absence, and had hoped on my return to see you released. I am sorry you are not--"
       "Well, as to that," interrupts the old sailor, his face resuming its wonted calm, "I can't-you know I can't, Tom,--sail without a clearance. I sometimes think I'm never going to get one. Two years, as you know, I've been here, now backing and then filling, in and out, just as it suits that chap with the face like a snatch-block. They call him a justice. 'Pon my soul, Tom, I begin to think justice for us poor folks is got aground. Well, give us your hand agin' (he seizes Tom by the hand); its all well wi' you, anyhows.'
       "Yes, thank God," says Tom, returning his friendly shake, "I have conquered the enemy, and my thanks for it are due to those who reached my heart with kind words, and gave me a brother's hand. I was not dead to my own degradation; but imprisonment left me no hope. The sting of disappointment may pain your feelings; hope deferred may torture you here in a prison; the persecutions of enemies may madden your very soul; but when a mother turns coldly from you--No, I will not say it, for I love her still--" he hesitates, as the old sailor says, with touching simplicity, he never knew what it was to have a mother or father. Having spread before the old man and his companions sundry refreshments he had ordered brought in, and received in return their thanks, he inquires of Spunyarn how it happened that he got into prison, and how it is that he remains here a fixture.
       "I'll tell you, Tom," says the old sailor, commencing his story. "We'd just come ashore-had a rough passage-and, says I to myself, here's lay up ashore awhile. So I gets a crimp, who takes me to a crib. 'It's all right here-you'll have snug quarters, Jack,' says he, introducing me to the chap who kept it. I gives him twenty dollars on stack, and gets up my chest and hammock, thinking it was all fair and square. Then I meets an old shipmate, who I took in tow, he being hard ashore for cash. 'Let us top the meetin' with a glass,' says I. 'Agreed,' says Bill, and I calls her on, the very best. 'Ten cents a glass,' says the fellow behind the counter, giving us stuff that burnt as it went. 'Mister,' says I, 'do ye want to poison a sailor?' 'If you no like him,' says he, 'go get better somewhere else.' I told him to give me back the twenty, and me dunnage.
       "'You don't get him-clear out of mine 'ouse,' says he,
       "'Under the peak,' says I, fetching him a but under the lug that beached him among his beer-barrels. He picked himself up, and began talking about a magistrate. And knowing what sort of navigation a fellow'd have in the hands of that sort of land-craft, I began to think about laying my course for another port. 'Hold on here,' says a big-sided land-lubber, seizing me by the fore-sheets. 'Cast off there,' says I, 'or I'll put ye on yer beam-ends.'
       "'I'm a constable,' says he, pulling out a pair of irons he said must go on my hands."
       "I hope he did not put them on," interrupts the young theologian, for it is he who accompanies Tom.
       "Avast! I'll come to that. He said he'd only charge me five dollars for going to jail without 'em, so rather than have me calling damaged, I giv him it. It was only a trifle. 'Now, Jack,' says the fellow, as we went along, in a friendly sort of way, 'just let us pop in and see the justice. I think a ten 'll get ye a clearance.' 'No objection to that,' says I, and in we went, and there sat the justice, face as long and sharp as a marlinspike, in a dirty old hole, that looked like our forecastle. 'Bad affair this, Jack,' says he, looking up over his spectacles. 'You must be locked up for a year and a day, Jack.'
       "'You'll give a sailor a hearin', won't ye?' says I. 'As to that,--well, I don't know, Jack; you musn't break the laws of South Carolina when you get ashore. You seem like a desirable sailor, and can no doubt get a ship and good wages-this is a bad affair. However, as I'm not inclined to be hard, if you are disposed to pay twenty dollars, you can go.' 'Law and justice,' says I, shaking my fist at him-'do ye take this salt-water citizen for a fool?'
       "'Take him away, Mr. Stubble-lock him up!--lock him up!' says the justice, and here I am, locked up, hard up, hoping. I'd been tied up about three weeks when the justice looked in one day, and after inquiring for me, and saying, 'good morning, Jack,' and seeming a little by the head: 'about this affair of yourn, Jack,' says he, 'now, if you'll mind your eye when you get out--my trouble's worth ten dollars-and pay me, I'll discharge you, and charge the costs to the State.'
       "'Charge the cost to the State!' says I. 'Do you take Spunyarn for a marine?' At this he hauled his wind, and stood out."
       "You have had a hearing before the Grand Jury, have you not?" inquires Tom, evincing a deep interest in the story of his old friend.
       "Not I. This South Carolina justice is a hard old craft to sail in. The Grand Jury only looks in once every six months, and then looks out again, without inquiring who's here. And just before the time it comes round, I'm shuffled out, and just after it has left, I'm shuffled in again-fees charged to the State! That's it. So here I am, a fee-making machine, bobbing in and out of jail to suit the conveniences of Mister Justice. I don't say this with any ill will-I don't." Having concluded his story, the old sailor follows his visitors to the prison gate, takes an affectionate leave of Tom Swiggs, and returns to join his companions. On the following day, Tom intercedes with Mr. Snivel, for it is he who thus harvests fees of the State by retaining the old sailor in prison, and procures his release. And here, in Mr. Snivel, you have an instrument of that debased magistracy which triumphs over the weak, that sits in ignorance and indolence, that invests the hypocritical designer with a power almost absolute, that keeps justice muzzled on her throne-the natural offspring of that demon-making institution that scruples not to brunt the intellect of millions, while dragging a pall of sloth over the land. _
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Preface
Chapter 1. Tom Swiggs' Seventh Introduction On Board Of The Brig Standfast
Chapter 2. Madame Flamingo-Her Distinguished Patrons...
Chapter 3. In Which The Reader Is Presented With A Varied Picture
Chapter 4. A Few Reflections On The Cure Of Vice
Chapter 5. In Which Mr. Snivel, Commonly Called The Accommodation Man...
Chapter 6. Containing Sundry Matters Appertaining To This History
Chapter 7. In Which Is Seen A Commingling Of Citizens
Chapter 8. What Takes Place Between George Mullholland And Mr. Snivel
Chapter 9. In Which A Gleam Of Light Is Shed On The History Of Anna Bonard
Chapter 10. A Continuation Of George Mullholland's History
Chapter 11. In Which The Reader Is Introduced To Mr. Absalom M'arthur
Chapter 12. In Which Are Matters The Reader May Have Anticipated
Chapter 13. Mrs. Swiggs Comes To The Rescue Of The House Of The Foreign Missions
Chapter 14. Mr. M'arthur Makes A Discovery
Chapter 15. What Madame Flamingo Wants To Be
Chapter 16. In Which Tom Swiggs Gains His Liberty, And What Befalls Him
Chapter 17. In Which There Is An Interesting Meeting
Chapter 18. Anna Bonard Seeks An Interview With The Antiquary
Chapter 19. A Secret Interview
Chapter 20. Lady Swiggs Encounters Difficulties On Her Arrival In New York
Chapter 21. Mr. Snivel Pursues His Search For The Vote-Cribber
Chapter 22. Mrs. Swiggs Falls Upon A Modern Heathen World
Chapter 23. In Which The Very Best Intentions Are Seen To Fail
Chapter 24. Mr. Snivel Advises George Mullholland How To Make Strong Love
Chapter 25. A Slight Change In The Picture
Chapter 26. In Which A High Functionary Is Made To Play A Singular Part
Chapter 27. The House Of The Nine Nations, And What May Be Seen In It
Chapter 28. In Which Is Presented Another Picture Of The House Of The Nine Nations
Chapter 29. In Which May Be Seen A Few Of Our Common Evils
Chapter 30. Containing Various Things Appertaining To This History
Chapter 31. The Keno Den, And What May Be Seen In It
Chapter 32. Which A State Of Society Is Slightly Revealed
Chapter 33. In Which There Is A Singular Revelation
Chapter 34. The Two Pictures
Chapter 35. In Which A Little Light Is Shed Upon The Character Of Our Chivalry
Chapter 36. In Which A Law Is Seen To Serve Base Purposes
Chapter 37. A Short Chapter Of Ordinary Events
Chapter 38. A Story Without Which This History Would Be Found Wanting
Chapter 39. A Story With Many Counterparts
Chapter 40. In Which The Law Is Seen To Conflict With Our Cherished Chivalry
Chapter 41. In Which Justice Is Seen To Be Very Accommodating
Chapter 42. In Which Some Light Is Thrown On The Plot Of This History
Chapter 43. In Which Is Revealed The One Error...
Chapter 44. In Which Is Recorded Events The Reader May Not Have Expected
Chapter 45. Another Shade Of The Picture
Chapter 46. The Soul May Gain Strength In A Dreary Cell
Chapter 47. In Which Is A Happy Meeting, And Something Pleasing
Chapter 48. A Few Words With The Reader