He simply took her into the room, and there was Karl--alive. That was all she grasped at first; it filled her so completely she could take in nothing else. He was lying there, seemingly half asleep, looking much as he always did, save that of course it was plain he was very sick. She stooped down and kissed him, and his face lighted up, and he smiled a little. "Ernestine," he murmured, "did they frighten you?"
It was as she had known! His thought was of her. And oh how sorry Karl would be when he was quite well and she told him all!
She nestled her head close to him, her arm thrown about him. The tears were running down her cheeks. Of the blessedness of finding Karl here--breathing, smiling upon her, sorry she had been frightened! She took his hand and it responded to her clasp. That thrilled her through and through. Those awful fears--those never-to-be-forgotten fears--that Karl's hand might never close over hers again! She leaned over him that she might feel his breath upon her face. In all her life there had never been so blessed a joy as this feeling Karl's breath upon her cheek. Nothing mattered now--work, eyes, nothing. She had him back; she asked nothing more of life. What could anything else matter now that those awful fears had drawn away? She was sobbing quietly to herself. Again his hand closed over hers.
Then something made her look up, and at the foot of the bed she saw Dr. Parkman. One look at his face and she grew cold from head to foot; her throat grew painfully tight; strange things came before her eyes. She could not move. She simply remained there upon her knees, looking at Dr. Parkman's face, her own frozen with terror.
The doctor came to her, took her hands, and helped her to rise. Two nurses and another doctor were bending over Karl--doing something. Dr. Parkman led Ernestine into an adjoining room.
She did not take her eyes from his face; the appeal, terror, in them seemed to strike him dumb. It was as though his own throat were closed, for several times he tried vainly to speak.
"Ernestine," he said at last, "Karl is very sick."
"How--sick?" she managed to whisper.
"How--sick?" she repeated as he stood there looking at her helplessly.
And, finally, he said, as if it were killing him to do it--"So sick that--"
"Don't say that!"--she fairly hissed it at him.
"Don't
dare say that! You
did it--you----" And then, sinking down beside him, catching hold of his hand, she sobbed out, wildly, heartbreakingly--"Oh, Dr. Parkman--oh, please--
please tell me you
will save Karl!"
Her sobs were becoming uncontrollable. "Ernestine," he said, sharply--"be quiet. Be quiet! You have got to help."
The sobs stopped; she rose to her feet. He pulled up a chair for her, but she did not sit down. A few sobs still came, but her face was becoming stern, set.
"Tell me," she said, holding her two hands tight against her breast, and looking him straight in the face.
And then he jerked it out. Karl had been taken ill--pain, fever, he feared appendicitis. He had two other doctors see him; they agreed that he must be operated on immediately. They brought him here. They found--conditions awful. They did all that surgery could do--every known thing was being done now, but--they did not know. He had rallied a little from the operation; now he seemed to be drooping. He was in bad shape generally,--heart weakened by the shock of his blindness, intestines broken down by lack of exercise, whole system affected by changed conditions--all these things combined against him. He told the short story with his own lips white, swaying a little, seeming fairly to age as he stood there.
Her face had been changing as she listened. He had never seen a human face look as hers did then; he had never heard a human voice sound as hers sounded when she said: "Dr. Parkman, you are mistaken." She looked him straight in the eye--a look which held the whole force of her being. "I say you are mistaken. We will go back in here now to Karl. You and I together are going to save him."
There was the light from higher worlds in her eye as she went back, in her voice a force which men have never named or understood. And something which emanated from her took hold of every one who came into that room. There was more than the resources of medical science at work now.
On her knees beside the bed, her arm about him, passionately shielding him from the dark forces around him, her face often touching his as if reassuring him, Ernestine spoke to Karl, quietly, tenderly, forcefully, love's own intuition telling her how much to say, when to speak. By her warm body which loved him, by her great spirit which claimed him, she would hold him from the outgoing tide. Her voice could rouse him where other stimulants failed; the only effort he made was the tightening of his hand over hers, and sometimes he smiled a little as he felt her close to him.
Two hours went by; the lines in Dr. Parkman's face were deepening. They worked on unfalteringly--hypodermics, heat, rubbing, oxygen, all those things with which man seeks to deceive himself, and for which the foe, with the tolerance of power, is willing to wait. But their faces were changing. The call of the outgoing tide, that tide over which human determination has not learned to prevail, was coming close. They worked on, for they were trained to work on, even through the sense of their own futility.
Looking about her Ernestine saw it all, and held him with a passionate protectiveness. If all else failed, her arms--arms to which he had ever come for help and consolation--could surely hold him! The cold fear crept farther and farther into her heart, and as it crept on her arms about him tightened. Not while she held him like this! Oh not while she held him like this!
And then a frenzy possessed her. That she should sit here powerless--weeping--despairing, surrendering, while Karl slipped from her! She must do something--say something--something to hold him firm--call him back--make him understand that he must fight!
Suddenly a light broke over her face. She looked at Dr. Parkman, who was bending over Karl. "I will tell him," she whispered--"what I did--the secret--about the work."
He hesitated; medically his judgment was against it; and then, white to the lips with the horror of the admission he faced the fact that this had passed beyond things medical. Let her try where he had failed. Through a rush of uncontrollable tears he nodded yes.
And she did tell him,--in words which were not sentences, with sharp flashes of thought--such flashes as alone could penetrate the semi-consciousness into which she must reach; after a moment of pause in which to gather herself together for the great battle of her life, with concentration, illumination, with a piercing eloquence which brought hot tears to every cheek, and deep, deep prayers to hearts which would have said they did not know how to pray--a woman fighting for the man she loved, human love at its whitest heat pitted against destiny--she told him.
"Karl," at the last--"you
understand?--That's the great secret!--
That's the great picture! I've not painted one stroke this winter! I've been working for
you--working in your laboratory every day--studying day and night--getting ready to be your eyes--going to give you back your work--oh, Karl--
Karl--won't you--" but the sobs could hold back no longer.
She had reached him. He took it in, just a little at first, but comprehension was growing, and upon his face a great wondering, a softening.
"Old man,"--it was Dr. Parkman now--"you get that? See what you've got ahead? God, man--but it was splendid! She came to me with the idea--
her idea--thought it all out herself. Karl was not happy--Karl must have his work. Karl--Karl--it was nothing but Karl. She was closer to him than any one in the world. She could make him see what others could not. Then
she would be his eyes. Man--do you know that this woman has fairly made over her soul for love of you? Do you know that she has given up becoming one of the great painters of the world to become your assistant? Do you get it, Karl? So help me God it was the pluckiest fight I've ever seen or heard of. And she's won! I'm no fool--and I say she can do what she says she can. She's ready. She's ready to begin to-morrow. What do you say, old man? What do you think of Ernestine now? Isn't she worth taking a good brace and living for?"
And then he got it all; he was taking it in, rising to it, understanding, glowing. And a look that was very wonderful was growing upon Karl's face.
"Ernestine," he whispered, dwelling long upon the name, his voice a voice of wonder, "you did that--for me?"
"I did it because I love you so!" she whispered, and it seemed that surely death itself could not withstand the tenderness of it.
And then his whole face became transfigured. His blind eyes were opened to the light of love. His illumined face reflected it as the supreme moment of his life. In that moment he triumphed over all powers set against him. He rose out of suffering on wings of glory. He transcended sorrow and tragedy, blindness--yes, in that moment, death. He saw behind the veil; he saw into the glory of a soul; he comprehended the wonder of love. Compensation for suffering and loss--understanding, victory, peace; it was the human face lighted with divine light. They did not dare to move or breathe as they looked upon the wonder of his face.
"Ernestine--little one," he whispered, the light not going from his face--"you loved me--like that?"
"You see, Karl,"--it was this must reach him--"what you have to live for now?"
But he did not get that. He was filled with the wonder of that which he was seeing.
"You see, old man," said Parkman, sharply, "what you've got ahead of you?"
But he only murmured, happily, faintly, as one about to fall asleep: "She loved me--like that."
It terrified her; it seemed, not as though the great idea were holding him, but as though he were taking it away with him, even as though well content to go, having this to take with him from life.
"Karl--Karl!" she sobbed--"don't you
see how I love you?--don't you see you
must live now--for me?"
But he had far transcended all sense of suffering or loss, even her suffering and loss. Her plea--she herself--could not reach him. He and the great idea were going away together. And that light did not leave his face.
It was so that he sank into a sleep. He did not hear Ernestine's sobs; he knew nothing of her pleading cries. In a frenzy of grief she felt him going out to where she could not reach him. She called to him, and he did not answer. She pressed close to him, and he did not know that she was there.
But the great idea was with him. It lighted his face to the last. It was as if that were what he was taking with him from life. It was as if that, and that alone, he could keep.
"Karl--Karl!" she cried, terrorised--"look at me! Speak to me! I am here! Ernestine is here!"--And then, the strongest word of woman to man--"I'm frightened! Oh take care of me--Karl--take care of me!"
Dr. Parkman tried to take her away, but she resisted fiercely, and they let her stay. And during the few hours which followed she never ceased her pleading--to him to come back to her, to them to help. Crazed with the consciousness of his slipping from her, wild beyond all reason with the thought that her kisses could not move him, her arms could not hold him, her passion lashed to the uttermost in the thought that she must claim him now or lose him forever, she pleaded with all the eloquence of human voice and human tears. She could not believe it--that he was there beside her and would not listen to her pleadings. Again and again she told him that she was frightened and alone; that--surely that--he must hear. It could not be that he was there beside her, breathing, moving a little now and then, and did not hear her call for help.
And when at last she heard some one speak a low word, and saw some one bend over him to close his eyes, she uttered one piercing, heartbreaking cry which they would bear with them so long as they lived. And then, throwing herself upon him, shielding him, keeping him, there came the wild, futile call of life to death--"Karl!--Karl!--
Karl!"